This transcript is complete. Only minor edits are needed.
- [The first scene features Cuber in a room filled with birds]
- Cuber: [Talking to the viewers] Oh, hello. [laughing] Here for more graybles, I presume. Well you've come to the right computer-fable. Feast your eyes-mabel, on my holo-pyramid viewer and— [A bird passes by him singing] Huh? What's that? Not in the mood for graybles, you say? Oh dear. You okay? Did something fatlabel happen to you? [A bird sits on Cuber's head and takes the floating cube from his hat] Oh, I see. You'd rather watch me buh-blabel a bird-house in my workshop. [The screen is seen moving up and down, implying the viewer is nodding their head] Hm. More of a grayble man by trade. But okay! Come on! [Cuber is seen exploding]
- [The scene cuts to Cuber's workshop filled with tools floating in the air. Cuber is seen hitting the bird-house with hammers]
- Cuber: Oh, hello again! As you can see, the bird-house is nearly complete! All that's left is where the door hole goes. But I can't remember. [Starts scratching his head with a hammer] Hm. Door hole. Wait! I just remembered! My door hole solution lies in one of tonight's scheduled graybles! Would you mind I look through them to find it? [The screen is seen shaking in negation] OK! [laughing] Yeey! Here we go!
- [The scene cuts to the Tree Fort, where Jake Jr. is seen drinking juice and exclaiming]
- Jake: [Sits next to Jake Jr.] Hey, Jake Jr. [Pokes her by the shoulder] You having fun at daddy's?
- Jake Jr.: Hm? Oh. Sure dad.
- Jake: OK. You seem kind of dump trucks.
- Jake Jr.: What?
- Jake: You know, "in the dumps."
- Jake Jr.: Oh, sorry. It's cool. I'm just thinking about the future, I guess. We're on, like, the bleeding edge of history. Everything ahead of us is totally unknown and there's no guarantee that things are going to be all right. It's exciting, but it's also pretty scary. You know?
- Jake: [Looking weirdly at Jake Jr.] [cynically laughing] Sounds like my little baby girl wanna build a time machine!
- Finn: Ooooh!
- Jake Jr.: Guys, I don't—
- Jake: No, no, no. Leave it up to your daddy and uncle Finn! [Kisses Jake Jr.] Yup.
- Jake Jr.: OK, you guys have fun! I'm gonna get some more juice. [Walks toward a table] Mom has some weird taste in men. [Cleans table using her hair, takes the juice box and puts some in her glass]
- Finn: [whispering] Pssst. She's going back!
- Jake: [Driving a fake bike he made shape-shifting] Ding-ding! [Stops] Scre-e-e-ech! [Walks up to a fake door he made shape-shifting and presses the ring after which a farting sound is heard]
- Finn: [Dressed up as a lady, Finn opens the fake door] [feminine voice] Hello? Oh! Is that the machine part that I ordered?
- Jake: [exclaims] You just gotta sign for it, to prove you accepted delivery. [Hands out his clipboard-shaped hand]
- Finn: [Writing on the clipboard using a dust-cleaner] Ac-cept-tance.
- [Finn and Jake stand up before Jake Jr.]
- Jake Jr.: Guys, I'm basically thirty. I'm not a little kid anymore!
- [The scene cuts to the Candy Kingdom]
- Princess Bubblegum: [holding a night-light in form of Jake] You're not a little kid anymore!
- Cinnamon Bun: [screaming] WHY-Y-Y-Y!?
- Princess Bubblegum: Cinnamon Bun, you can't sleep with a night-light anymore. You're basically thirty—it's starting to bum everyone out.
- Cinnamon Bun: [screaming] I can't handle this denial of light!!!
- Princess Bubblegum: Yeah, well—
- Cinnamon Bun: [screaming] No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o! [normal voice] Too dark. [Turns the lights on] No! It's too bright! [Pushes the lamb which breaks] Ah! It's too dark! [A fire starts] Oh. A-ha. OK. This is nice.
- [Outside of Cinnamon Bun's home, a pair of firemen Banana Guards are seen trying to extinguish the fire]
- Banana Guards: [imitating siren] [Pour water inside of Cinnamon Bun's home]
- Cinnamon Bun: Ah! Too dark! [Goes to the window]
- Banana Guard: [Waving his hand] Hey, Cinnabun!
- Cinnamon Bun: I—need—soft—light! [Throws himself out of the window] Yeeargh!!
- [The scene cuts to the Ice Kingdom]
- Ice King: [Opens fridge] Yeeargh! How long has this been in here? I don't even remember buying this. Oh well—easy come, easy go. [Throws "Yeeargh!" in the trash can. Then, he gathers other products and throws them as well] Goodbye! Well, that wasn't so bad. [humming] [Pulls out a marker and a piece of paper out of his beard] Hm. [It's shown the paper is actually a to-do list with five check mark boxes]
- ☐ Clean
- ☐ out
- ☐ the
- ☐ fridg
- ☐ e.
- [Ice King x-es all the boxes and then draws a big X over the entire paper]
- Ice King: Ah! Nothing like a hard day's work to get them spirits a-lifted! [laughing]
- [At one point, Ice King stands next to window, where the viewer can see the Candy Kingdom burning]
- Ice King: Great news, fellas! I finished all my chores, so we can start movie night early. Take your sits and will reveal the nominees. We got "Baby Ballet," "Blimby's "WHO GOTS DA ABC'S"," "Airplanes Taking Off," — [gasp] Oh, wait! What's this one? "Basic Mortality: Season 1"!? Isn't this that show that everyone is talking about? I heard that this show is really good for penguins. Wow, that's really lucky for you guys, I'm a little jealous. Well anyway, good luck to all our nominees! OK, all in favor of "Blimby's "WHO GOTS DA ABC'S""—raise your hands.
- [The penguins are being silent]
- Ice King: OK, all in favor of "Baby Ballet"—raise your hands.
- [All of the penguins raise their hands]
- Ice King: OK, all in favor of Air—What!? "Baby Ballet"? Come on! Ugh! I should have never given you penguins the right to vote. Well, you may have numbers on your side, but I still have one trick up my sleeve. Bargaining. Whereby, you let me watch "Basic Mortality," and I in return will do anything you want in the whole world. How 'bout it?
- [The penguins are having a discussion for a time]
- Middle Penguin: Wenk.
- Ice King: Algebraic!
- [The scene cuts to Ice King dressed up as a baby ballerina and dancing ballet while watching "Basic Mortality"]
- Man: I know he was your partner.
- Woman: Enough! Alan is not the super-murderer!
- Ice King: I don't know about this show though—
- Man: This, captain, is the most lamentable super-murder I've ever seen—and I've seen plenty.
- Ice King: —might be a touch too dark.
- [The scene cuts to Cinnamon Bun running in the woods]
- Cinnamon Bun: [screaming loudly] Too dark! [Climbs on a small hill and falls down from it. He falls before a light made by a window near by a castle] [screaming loudly] Too bright! [A lemon falls on his head]
- Lemongrab 2: [Peaking from a window] Eat on it! [Slams the window closed]
- Lemongrab: [Inside the castle] Hm-m-m.
- Lemongrab 2: [Inside the castle] Hm.
- [Both enter a room and close the door. They turn on the light, revealing the brothers before a toy set]
- Lemongrab 2: Oh, little Lemon-Sweets, our son. [Takes the toy's hand and makes it wave] So precious. You enjoy sitting in your chair? [Takes the toy's head and makes it shake in agreement] What would you like to do now? [talking in a soft, squeaky voice] Go to bed.
- Lemongrab: No, he wants to dance! [Takes the toy from his brother's hands and makes it dance]
- Lemongrab 2: [hesitantly] Dearest brother, I really think Lemon-Sweets would rather go to bed. [Tries to grab the toy]
- [The brothers start fighting over the toy until Lemongrab 2 manages to take it]
- Lemongrab 2: [Puts the toy in its little bed] I'll fetch our son a sleeping bonnet. [Opens a lock filled with little hats and takes a little bonnet] Beautiful. [Turns around and sees Lemongrab making the toy dance] [gasps] [screaming] Brother, stop that!!
- Lemongrab: [Shakes head in disagreement] [talking in a soft, squeaky voice] We hate you.
- Lemongrab 2: [Hits his brother, causing the toy to fall and break]
- [The brothers look at each other]
- Lemongrab: [screaming] O-O-Only O-O-O-ONE!!! [Grabs his brother and proceeds to swallow him whole]
- Lemongrab 2: [screaming] The end! My end!
- [The scene cuts to Mr. Fox in a small house]
- Mr. Fox: My end... table, my love seat, yeah. Gee but it's great to be back home. It's always a blast visiting my cousin, city-Fox, at his future palace, but you just can't beat that old country steez. City-Fox's digs be mad sterile. Look a this. This was my grandpa's rug. Some bums let him have it 'cause it was so ugly. [He comes near a heating machine] [loudly] And check out these classic stylings. They don't make 'em like this anymore! [Nearly gets hit by hot water] Wow! Haha! Almost got me right in my both eyes! [Goes away from the heating machine] Look at my bugs. [Comes near two old, ugly, bugs talking about something] Man, I always did have the ugliest bugs. What are they doing? Selling each other houses?
- Mr. Fox: [Goes near the bed] Yes, siree, there's some things money can't buy. [Looks at a a sleeping-hole in the bed] You see that depression? You can't buy that, you gotta earn it. Boy, it's like I can almost see myself sleeping in there. [An imaginary figure of himself appears before his eyes in the sleeping-hole] [screaming] Wha—? [He sees himself standing up and going toward the table. His imaginary self starts writing something on a piece of paper] "Dear conscious self, I know where some buried treasure is. I'll draw you a map. Love, subconscious self." Oh my gosh, I'm gonna be rich! [laughing] [His sub-conscious self starts drawing a map]
- [Someone knocks on the door]
- Mr Fox: What the—? [Mr. Fox's sub-conscious self disappears] Oh, no! My riches!
- Cinnamon Bun: [Knocks hard on the door] [grunting] Let me in! [wild music plays] [Rips of light] It's too—bright! [gasp] Too dark! [Flips the bed and runs through the wall, breaking it] [screaming]
- Mr. Fox: Cinnamon Bun, you! Did a great job, on this hole wall. It's very rustic. [gasps]
- Sub-conscious Mr. Fox: M-m-m-m, what a jerk.
- [The scene cuts to the Tree Fort]
- Finn: What, a jerk?
- Jake: Yeah, just give it a little jerk.
- Finn: [Changes an engine's position inside a suitcase]
- Jake: [Closes the suitcase]
- [Finn and Jake stand up before a pile of ordinary, everyday objects]
- Finn: Now that's a time machine.
- Jake: Hey, sweetie! Sweetie, look! Your time machine's all ready!
- Jake Jr.: Aw yeah, you havin' fun, dad?
- Jake: Aw, anything for my baby pup.
- Jake Jr.: OK. As long as you're having fun.
- Jake: [laughing] Time machine! [Presses a button, when suddenly the entire room gets covered in a red light]
- Finn and Jake: [screaming]
- Jake Jr.: [shouting in Korean]
- [Everything suddenly stops]
- Cuber: Ha-ha! There it is! You see? The birdhouse door—it's right above the peg thingy. Why didn't I think of that? [laughing] Well, I guess that's it for this week. I'll see you crimpy glimmers on the—what? What's that? You want to finish the grayble? [The screen is seen moving up and down, implying the viewer is shaking his head in confirmation] You want to see if you can still guess the theme? [The screen is seen left and right, implying the viewer is shaking his head in negation] You just want to see how it ends. [The screen is seen moving up and down, implying the viewer is shaking his head in confirmation] Well, let's get right to it, then. Ha-ha.
- [The scene cuts to the Tree Fort]
- BMO: Stranger! Stranger! Stranger! Stranger! Stranger! [Pointing toward Cinnamon Bun trying to take the night-light in form of Jake]
- Cinnamon Bun: [Putting his finger before his lips, telling BMO to hush]
- Jake Jr.: [Walks up to BMO and types "ITS OK," making BMO disarm the alarm]
- BMO: Excuse me.
- Jake Jr.: [Puts BMO down and turns toward Cinnamon Bun] HEY, why are you trying to steal my dad's stuff!?!
- Cinnamon Bun: Hey, I need a night-light because I'm so scared!
- Jake Jr.: Man, you can't steal, dummy.
- Cinnamon Bun: [Starts crying]
- Jake Jr.: Fine! [Uses hair to get the night-light and gives to Cinnamon Bun] Here. NOW GET LOST!
- Cinnamon Bun: [gasps] [laughing] Yes! Take that, Princess Bubblegum! [Leaves the Tree Fort]
- Jake Jr.: [Closes the door]
- BMO: Jake Jr., I'm sorry for messing up your time travel.
- Jake Jr.: Aw, that's OK. [pets Beemo, making it smile] It was just make-believe, anyways.
- Finn: O-ho-ho, was it? Then how do you explain tomorrow's newspaper?
- [Jake is holding up newspaper with the headlines "Tomorrow's newspaper. JAKE JR. REAL COOL KID!"]