This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "BMO Noire" from season 4, which aired on August 6, 2012.

Tree Fort
This transcript is complete.


[Sequence in color]
[Inside the Tree Fort, BMO, under a couch, plays a game on its own screen with a joystick.]
BMO: Haha! Take that, Master Chen!
[Footsteps are heard. Finn's feet, one of them missing a sock, pass near BMO.]
Jake: What?
[BMO notices Finn and quits playing its game. BMO sneaks up near Finn, who is rummaging through boots. Its joystick, still connected, follows him.]
Finn: Jake, did you hide my sock?
Jake [Offscreen]: No, man, I told you,
[Jake is shown putting eyeliner and looking at a mirror.]
Jake: I don't do that kinda stuff anymore.
Finn: So, what? It just magically disappeared?
Jake: I don't know...
[Jake makes a spiral mark with lipstick on his face]
Jake: Maybe.
[Finn gets up and walks towards Jake]
Finn: Is that just a cute way of saying you took it?
Jake: No!
Finn: Why don't you just help me find my sock?
Jake: [Sarcastically] Oh, Finn lost his sock! Everybody stop what you're doing and help Finn find his precious sock!
[Film turns to black and white as BMO performs its action]
[BMO, having watched the conversation, pulls out its joystick cable and steps on it, twisting its foot (like it's putting out a cigarette). A cigarette burn is heard. Jazz music begins to play. Finn and Jake's voices get silent.]
BMO: [Voiceover] It looked like a tough case to crack. But I hate to see good friends fight.
[Zoom to BMO's face lighted in the eye region]
BMO: [V.O.] So I decided to take the case.
[Finn and Jake leave, but a flash reveals that BMO has taken a photo. He picks up the polaroid and looks at it.]
BMO: [V.O.] Hmm... [Gasps.]
[Cut to the picture. A mouse rests next to Finn's foot.]
BMO: [V.O.] Ronnie!
[BMO pulls down the picture, revealing Ronnie, who looks at it and runs away.]
BMO: [V.O.] It looked like I had a guilty mouse.
[BMO runs towards where Ronnie ran. A chase scene ensues. Ronnie climbs up the wood structure of the Tree Fort.]
BMO: [Gasps.]
[BMO sees a hole in a tree nearby.]
BMO: Huh!
[BMO dives into the hole. Ronnie climbs down the wood structure and heads to the table, but BMO traps him.]
BMO: Hello, Ronnie.
[BMO sticks out its hand at Ronnie's lips and moves them.]
BMO [As Ronnie, deeper voice]: What do you want, BMO?
[BMO releases its hand out of Ronnie's lips. Ronnie lifts his head up.]
BMO: Where is Finn's sock?
BMO [As Ronnie]: I don't know what you're talking about, BMO. I didn't do nothin'. Leave me alone!
[Ronnie puts his head down, revealing a lipstick smudge on the back of his neck. Zoom to the smudge. BMO's face is lighted.]
BMO: [V.O.] I knew that lipstick anywhere. [BMO closes its eyes on "anywhere"]
BMO: [Speaking] How is Lorraine?
[Ronnie turns his head at BMO.]
BMO [As Ronnie]: You stay away from her! She is with me now, do you hear?
BMO: Calm down, big guy. Me and Lorraine are dinosaur bones.
BMO [As Ronnie]: Good, 'cause I would be so jealous.
[BMO shows its picture to Ronnie, who looks at it.]
BMO: Just tell me where the sock is, and I will let you go.
[Zoom to the picture and Ronnie.]
BMO [As Ronnie]: I don't know, man.
[BMO shakes its fist and leans towards him.]
BMO: What if I put some knuckle in your eyeballs? Would that help you think?
BMO [As Ronnie]: Ok! Ok! Umm...
[BMO grabs Ronnie's arm and points to Finn's foot, where a stain is seen.]
BMO [As Ronnie]: It looks like a grape juice stain on his sock; check the pantry.
BMO: [V.O.] Of course I didn't trust Ronnie, but I had no other leads. [goes in the pantry] Maybe the grape juice had some secrets to tell me. Or maybe Ronnie was just pulling my hair. 
BMO: [climbed up to where the grape juice was]
BMO: [V.O.] Just as I thought, not even opened. I fell right into his trap.
BMO: [pantry door closed] [Gasps] Let me out, you! I'll get you! Piece of... you! Ronnie! [the door opens and BMO falls on its face] Officer Davis! Thank goodness. I... 
BMO [as Officer Davis]: BMO, what are you doing here?
BMO: Looking for Finn's socks, same as you.
BMO [as Officer Davis]: We got this to under control. [licks his hand] Stay out of police business, or you will be the one behind bars.
BMO: [V.O.] [climbing up a ladder] I didn't listen to that cop. I needed to find Ronnie, and I knew just the lady who could lead me to him. [at the top was Lorraine's house] She looked as beautiful as ever.
BMO: Where is the sock, Lorraine? 
BMO [as Lorraine]: What makes you think I know? 
BMO: I saw your lipstick on his fur, so don't act so cute. 
BMO [as Lorraine]: Sounds like someone's jealous, no?
BMO: Don't count on it, Lorraine. Now tell me where Ronnie is.
BMO [as Lorraine]: Ha! You think it was Ronnie? Maybe if he was man enough to steal a sock, I wouldn't have to spend my nights with Bebe.
BMO: Bebe? So you're saying Bebe is man enough?
BMO [as Lorraine]: What? No, you're putting words in my mouth. Bebe doesn't know anything about Finn's sock.
BMO: [Gasps] Finn's sock? How did you know it was Finn's sock? I never said whose sock was stolen, Lorraine.
BMO [as Lorraine]: Uh... uh... I heard it on the TV news.
BMO: No dice, sweet beak. Officer Davis has this case under tight wraps.
BMO [as Lorraine]: Oh, fine, Bebe stole the sock. Oh, BMO, can't you just forget about it?
BMO: [walking out the door] Sorry, lady, forgetting ain't in my job description. Ha ha ha!
BMO [as Lorraine]: Does that mean you still remember... us?
BMO: ... Hahaha! Same old Lorraine.
BMO [as Lorraine]: Well, don't tell Ronnie about me and Bebe. [zoom to reveal Ronnie is watching in the rafters] You know how he gets when he's jealous. [Ronnie's nose twitches as the door closes.]
[Scene changes.]
BMO: [V.O.] Bebe owned Bebe's, a dance club downtown. [Zoom to Bebe.] He yells at ladies!
[BMO approaches Bebe and then puts its foot on one of Bebe's buttons.]
BMO: Wake up, brainiac.
BMO [as Bebe]: BMO? Uh...uh...auh!
BMO: Where is the sock, Bebe?
BMO [as Bebe]: Uh [coughs]... I don't know nothing about socks!
BMO: Don't play dumb, Bebe! [takes some soot and smothers it on Bebe] Don't play dumb with me!
BMO [as Bebe]: [Coughs even more.]
BMO: I talked to Lorraine, Bebe. She sold you out, dumb dumb!
BMO [as Bebe]: No! She-she wouldn't do that! It wasn't me, I swear! It was Ronnie!
BMO: [stops rubbing in the ashes on Bebe] Ronnie? But why?
BMO [as Bebe]: I don't know, man! I don't know! [Starts sobbing] Oh, Lorraine! [Continues sobbing]
BMO: [looks at its dirty hands] I'm gonna go wash this shmutz off my grabbers. When I get back, you better start talking sense!
[BMO walks away and scene changes to BMO at the sink.]
BMO: [V.O.] [Turning on the water and throwing some on himself.] It wasn't adding up. Why would Ronnie swipe the sock? And why would Lorraine finger Bebe? [BMO turns off the water.] Sure, he's a dirt bag born out of a mother, but who's not?
BMO: [Talking to himself in the mirror] I don't really get it.
BMO: [V.O.] Maybe it was time to cut my losses.
[Scene changes to BMO walking back to Bebe with some toilet paper.]
BMO: Come on, Bebe, let's get you cleaned up. Bebe?
[Zoom to Bebe, upside down, with his case and batteries out.]
BMO: Bebe! [pauses] Dead. This doesn't look good. I'd better hightail it!
[BMO drops the toilet paper and starts to run in the other direction, but then hears a meow offscreen, he turns to see Officer Meow, and Lieutenant Whiskers approaching him.]
BMO: Huh? The cops!? It was a setup!
BMO: [Gasps] Oh no! [Starts running and imitating gunshots] Bang, bang! Pew, pew, pew!
[BMO stops in front of Officer Davis who meows at BMO who then starts running in the opposite direction. BMO keeps running until Lieutenant Whiskers trips BMO who then falls down the ladder into the Tree Fort's treasure room, breaks two spokes on the ladder, falls to the floor, and passes out and BMO starts dreaming.]
Jake [In BMO's dream]: Hey, has anyone seen BMO? [opens a cupboard] BMO? Where's BMO?
BMO: [at the sink] Hello?
[A hand puts lipstick on Lorraine] BMO: With the lipstick, she looked as beautiful as ever.
[BMO turns around in a dark room with a barred window]
Finn: [at a window] I'm worried about BMO.
[BMO punches its mirror at the sink and smashes it]
[The animation of a hand putting lipstick on Lorraine is replayed, backwards]
BMO: [at sink, with unbroken mirror] This is real.
Jake: [reopening the cupboard] BMO!
BMO: [in dark room] Who's BMO?
[A hand, covered in soot takes off Bebe's battery cover]
[BMO turns around again in the dark room but with a different face that has eyeballs, eyelashes, a nose, lips, and facial hair]
Different BMO: Hello. [the word "hello" echos as BMO wakes up]
[BMO opens its eyes as it hears Neptr]
Neptr: Hello? Hello? Hello? Hey, BMO. Wake up, buddy. Are you alright?
BMO: Neptr? I feel like I got hit with a Dracula by King Kong.
Neptr: Whoa, sorry, man. You want some pie or something?
BMO: Sorry, I gotta run. The cops are after me. Have you seen any down here?
Neptr: Nah, no one's been down here all day except me, you, and Ronnie.
BMO: What?! What was Ronnie doing down here?!
Neptr: I don't know, but now my sensors indicate that some treasure is missing [Neptr turns 360 degrees]...about a sock's worth.
BMO: [gasp] That's it! That's why Ronnie took the sock: To carry stolen treasure in with! He had to whack Bebe to keep him from squealing, then he pinned the rap on me.
Neptr: Bebe's dead?
BMO: Listen, Neptr: you better lay low for awhile. I'm gonna go find Ronnie [BMO climbs up the ladder]. I've got a score to settle.
Neptr: Hey, BMO. We should hang out more. We're both robots.
BMO: No, Neptr. I am not like you.
[BMO sneaks upstairs to find the outline of a rat and ketchup in the center]
BMO: Ronnie?
BMO [as Officer Davis]: Evening, BMO.
[BMO falls back, surprised]
BMO [as Officer Davis]: Don't worry, buddy. You're off the hook. We know it was Ronnie who killed Bebe and snatched the treasure [meow]. We found this confession on him after the shootout.
[Officer Davis hands BMO a piece of paper with random scribbles on it]
BMO: Hmmmmm...what about the sock?
BMO [as Officer Davis]: Forget the sock, BMO. The case is closed. Let it go, buddy. It's over.
BMO [in its thoughts]: Maybe he was right. But I just couldn't shake the feeling that, somehow, this case had slipped right through my fingers. [BMO sees lipstick on it's hands] Lipstick? [gasp]
[BMO runs outside to find Lorraine on a barrel, next to a socks-worth of treasure]
BMO: Lorraine!
BMO [as Lorraine]: BMO?
BMO: Get back here with that treasure, Lorraine!
BMO [as Lorraine]: Sorry, BMO. I earned this loot. Those chumps were not framing themselves. See you around, BMO.
BMO: Lorraine, wait! What about the sock, Lorraine?
BMO [as Lorraine]: Oh, that old thing? I hid that where no one would ever find it: in our secret, grown-up kissing spot. Remember?
[BMO laughs and blushes]
BMO [as Lorraine]: It was good to see you again, BMO [the barrel floats away]. Till next time.
[Lorraine jumps off the barrel onto land and runs away.]
BMO: Till next time, Lorraine.
[Finn and Jake come home, Finn carrying his Sea Lard.]
Jake: Ya see, man? That was really fun. You don't need two socks to have fun. 
Finn: Yeah, I guess. But maybe it woulda been more fun with two socks! [sigh]
BMO: Finn, Finn! I know where your sock is!
Finn: Huh?
BMO: [BMO pulls Finn's sock out of a pillow.] It was in your pillow this whole time! See?
Finn: Whoa haha! [drops Sea Lard] Right on, BMO!
BMO: Ronnie the mouse stole it, but Lorraine chicken set him up to kill Bebe, but the flatfoot busted Ronnie, and Lorraine skedaddled with the loot, but BMO solved the case!
Finn: Yay, BMO! Yay! Yeah!
BMO: Yay, BMO!
Finn: Yay!
BMO: Yay, BMO!
Jake: Our chicken's name is Lorraine?
BMO: She's red hot like pizza supper [blushes].
[The episode ends.]