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Be Sweet/Transcript

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This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Be Sweet" from season 6, which aired on June 2, 2015.

This transcript is complete.


[The episode opens with a shot of a purple glimmer in the night sky. On the ground, Lumpy Space Princess is warming herself by a fire.]
[crickets chirping]
LSP: Ugh. [pouring a bucket of liquid] Reduced to marking my camp with bear sweat. Those bears did not want to give up that sweat, [gets into sleeping bag] but it keeps the rodents from nibbling my lumps while I sleep. Ouch! I feel something crunchy! Like fried chicken! [pulls out a drumstick] Oh, it is fried chicken!
[A nearby bush rustles. A raccoon pops out.]
Raccoon: [roars]
LSP: Oh, my Glob—forest creature! I'd better eat it real fast!
[The raccoon grabs the chicken and runs off.]
LSP: [gasps] Get back here! [chases after it] [breathing heavily] [tackles the raccoon] [shouting indistinctly] Aah! [falls in a mud puddle] What my life has become!
[LSP's cellphone rings. She answers it.]
LSP: Hello? Oh, my Glob!
[At Tree Trunks' house, Tree Trunks and Mr. Pig are getting ready to go out. The doorbell rings.]
Tree Trunks: Oh, wonderful! [opens door] Welcome in, LSP. Uh, I want to go through—
LSP: This place is so clean and nice!
Tree Trunks: You're so kind.
LSP: Do you have a sink?!
Tree Trunks: Uh, there's one in the kitchen, and—
LSP: I'll use the one in the kitchen! [bathing in the sink] [sighs]
Tree Trunks: I need to tell you all the s—
LSP: Get me a towel!
[Tree Trunks hands her a dish towel.]
LSP: Help me down!
Tree Trunks: [helps LSP down] O-okay, I-I really do need to tell you how to care for Sweet P. Uh, there's a proper procedure for Sweet P's special tuck-in time. You have to be real sweet to him. Pat him gently on the head, kiss his cheeks...
LSP: What?
Tree Trunks: ...And give him treats. Sing to him real, real soft and sweet and touch your forehead to his and think the words, "You are more precious than anything in this world, and I will always, always love you." Then he'll fall asleep and have sweet dreams.
LSP: Oh, my Glob, I'll do all that! Okay, bye! Have a wonderful time! [pushes them out the door] Time to get down to the chill-out!
[Sweet P approaches from behind, feet pounding.]
LSP: What a princess like me deserves. [turns around] Aah! Don't hurt me!
Sweet P: I'm Sweet P.
LSP: I didn't know you were huge.
Sweet P: I'm hungry.
LSP: Okay, let's check what's in the fridge. [opens refrigerator, takes out pizza] Do you like pizza?
Sweet P: I like pizza.
LSP: [grunts] [rolls pizza into Sweet P's bedroom] Get the pizza, Sweet P!
[Sweet P chases it, feet pounding.]
LSP: [closes Sweet P's doors and pushes a table in front of them] Now I can kick back. [chuckles] [opens refrigerator] Refrigerators are just great! I never stopped to think how great they are. [sniffles] [shoves food in mouth] [munching loudly] [muffled] Now I'm cold, though. [goes in closet, pulls out a transparent gown] Oh, what?! [puts it on] I'm still cold. [blows on hands] [throws wood on fire] Rich-person indoor fire is just so great. [sniffles] I'm feeling all toasty! Must be time for toast! [puts bread in toaster] I'm waiting... Waiting... Waiting... All done! [eats toast] [crunching] It's not black and crunchy like when I throw bread into my campfire.
[LSP puts on a record. Mid-tempo music plays.]
LSP: This music's way better than owls' hoots.
[Mid-tempo music continues.]
LSP: [dances over to window] I deserve this.
[The raccoon from earlier looks in through the window at LSP.]
Raccoon: [roars]
LSP: No! You're an animal! You can't come inside! [closes drapes] [breathing heavily]
[Mid-tempo music continues.]
Sweet P: [finishes eating pizza and knocks on his doors] I'm ready to be tucked in now. Hello? Will you be sweet to me?
[LSP sips apple juice, unable to hear Sweet P over the music.]
Sweet P: [walks over to window] Sweetness must be out there in the night to guide my sleepy boat right. [breaks through wall and runs off, feet pounding]
[LSP is taking a bath. She takes out her cellphone and calls Marceline.]
[Marceline is in the middle of cleaning out her bellybutton. She answers her phone, which wraps itself around her ear.]
Marceline: Yo!
LSP: Hey, Marcy!
Marceline: LSPita bread, what's up? [pulls a worm out of her bellybutton]
LSP: Just chillin' in my awesome bubble bath!
Marceline: Did you break into someone's house again?
LSP: Ugh! I have a new life now and a career.
Marceline: I didn't know you had any skills.
LSP: Success isn't about skills. It's about being cool. These people just randomly approached me, like, "Hey, we will totally pay you to hang out in our sick mansion and feed our baby" or whatever.
Marceline: Well, good for you, dude.
LSP: I mean, I feel like a totally new person now that I'm finally getting what I deserve.
[The toilet rumbles and bubbles up.]
LSP: Oh, my Glob, what is that?!
[The raccoon emerges from the toilet.]
Raccoon: [roaring]
LSP: Aah! [drops phone in water]
Marceline: LSP? Mm.
Raccoon: [roars] [stands on toilet seat]
LSP: [breathes heavily] [grabs shampoo] Take this, you dandruff! [squirts shampoo at raccoon, knocking it back into the toilet]
LSP: [laughs]
Raccoon: LSP.
LSP: Huh?
Raccoon: You don't belong here in the world of decent people. You belong in the woods with... [emerges from toilet] garbage animals!
LSP: Noooooooo!
[Sweet P walks through the Candy Kingdom. Some Candy People are watching a film. Sweet P rips through the screen.]
Sweet P: Will you be sweet to me?
[The audience boos and shouts, throwing popcorn at Sweet P. Sweet P crouches in the middle of the road. A car runs into his belly. He looks through the windshield.]
Sweet P: Will you kiss my cheeks?
[The car drives around Sweet P.]
Sweet P: [asking hobo] Will you give me treats?
[The hobo throws a piece of garbage into Sweet P's mouth.]
Sweet P: [munches] Blech! [spits it out]
[Sweet P breaks through a window into a house. He crawls up to the bed and pulls the blanket up to his chin. He looks at the parents standing next to the bed.]
Sweet P: Will you be sweet to me?
[The parents scream.]
Banana Guards: Wee-Ooo! Wee-Ooo! Wee-Ooo! Wee-Ooo!
[Back at Tree Trunks' house, LSP is chasing the raccoon with a plunger.]
LSP: [screaming]
Raccoon: [growling]
LSP: Agh! [trips over table and breaks dishes] [moans] [shouting indistinctly] [knocks over picture]
[glass shatters]
Raccoon: Look what you've done, LSP.
LSP: Huh?
Raccoon: You made it gross. Everything you touch turns gross!
LSP: Uh...
Raccoon: Just like you!
LSP: Aah!
Raccoon: [eating a jar of strawberry jam] You don't really think you deserved any of this, do you? You're a rat, just a giant rat that wandered into somebody's nice house.
LSP: I'm a good person! I take care of babies! [flips table in front of Sweet P's room] Look! Baby Sweet P? [approaches hole in wall] [echoing] Baby Sweet P! Oh, my Glob, I lost the baby! I lost the baby! [crying] I'm a bad person!
Raccoon: [chuckles evilly] Just accept that you're garbage!
LSP: Hi-yah! [throws lamp at raccoon] Baby Sweet P! [leaves house]
[LSP enters the Candy Kingdom and approaches two Candy People.]
LSP: Have you seen a big, fat child around here?! [approaches Old Lady] Have you seen my enormous baby?! [crying] If only I'd cooked the pizza!
Banana Guards: [both munching donuts]
LSP: I could've eaten some, too! I'm so stupid! [approaches Banana Guards] You got to help me! I lost some old couple's baby 'cause I didn't do the sweet things! I just wanted a bubble bath, and... How did I lose something so bi-i-i-i-g?! [sputtering]
Banana Guard: Ma'am, you're gonna have to come with us.
LSP: Baby Sweet P! [slaps donut to the ground] Give me that donut! [jumps on donut]
Banana Guard: No!
[The guards dogpile on LSP and bring her into the jailhouse.]
LSP: I'm not a bad person! I'm not a bad person!
Sweet P: [crying]
LSP: Huh?
Sweet P: [crying continues]
Banana Guard: Hey, big baby!
[The guards try to cheer him up by warbling and making faces.]
Sweet P: [crying]
LSP: I found you!
Sweet P: [whimpers] LSP!
[They embrace.]
LSP: Sweet P! I'm so sorry! I should've been sweet to you! Here, okay, um... Pat very gently on the head... Kiss on both cheeks... Mwah! Mwah! Treat. [places donut in Sweet P's mouth]
Sweet P: Mmm! [munching]
LSP: Uh, and sing something sweet. [inhales deeply] ♪ Butter cakes, cupcakes, and ice cream cakes small baby bums and the friendship of puppies ♪ [thinking] You are more precious than anything in this world, and I will always, always love you.
[Sweet P falls asleep and slumps over on LSP.]
LSP: Aww!
[At Tree Trunks' house, the door creaks open.]
Tree Trunks: We're ho-o-me!
[Their mouths hang open as they see the house is a complete mess.]
LSP: Shh! He's asleep.
[They peek in at Sweet P sleeping in his room. Sweet P's blanket, taped to the wall, covers up the giant hole.]
Tree Trunks: Why is Sweet P's blanket on the wall—?
LSP: Shh! [closes door] Mr. and Mrs. Pig Trunks, I have some good news. Sweet P has grown so attached to me that it would be cruel for me to leave him, obviously. So... Yes, I will accept the position as your live-in nanny!
[LSP is pushed out the door and Tree Trunks closes it.]
LSP: [sighs]
Raccoon: [croaking]
LSP: Huh?
Raccoon: Partake of the chicken. [munching]
LSP: Chicken... [munching] [crying]
[They both munch on the drumstick.]
LSP: This is good chicken!
Tree Trunks: [to Mr. Pig] Maybe we can get, uh, Neptr to sit. I don't know.
Sweet P: Mama? I had that dream again—the one where I'm a comet boy.
Tree Trunks: Oh, really?
Sweet P: Yeah, coming back to Ooo over and over, and there was a fake comet, a beard man in a spaceship.
Tree Trunks: My, what an imagination...
Sweet P: The comet... approacheth.
[The episode closes on a shot of the same purple glimmer from the beginning, revealing it is a comet.]

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