(The episode starts when Finn finishes building Flame Princess' new house, which Flame Princess loves.)
Finn: Well, looks like your new house is done. (Throws helmet) Whoop! Jake! You wanna check out the new house?
Jake: Naah, (Draws Lady Rainicorn on the dirt) don't let me interrupt you. You two have fun.
Flame Princess: (Excited) I wanna see inside! (Checks inside the house and merging with it) (Laughter) I love it! (deep voice)
Finn: Great! (Fire touches Finn) (Quick sigh) This doesn't hurt as bad as it used to. (Fire spreads throughout Finn's right leg) (Then panics) Oh gob! Oh gob! Oh gob! (Dives into the nearby river)
Jake: (Worried) Finn!
(Finn rises above the surface)
Finn: Haha, I'm okay!
Flame Princess: (Interested) Hmmmm...
Finn: (Laughter and splashes)
Flame Princess: Oh! (Requests) Do the thing that I like.
Finn: (Agrees and acts) (Sucking some water and squirts it upward like a sprinkler)
Flame Princess: (Giggles)
Jake: (Requests) Now do the thing I like.
Finn: (Agrees, acts and turns around, where his butt is facing) (Submerges, splashes and farts underwater gas bubbles for three times)
Jake: Hehehe, classic. (Stretches out his left hand to Finn) Alright Finn, that's enough. (Pulls Finn out of the water)
(Then Flame Princess returns to her normal humanoid form.)
Flame Princess: Thank you for building my new home, Finn. I'm so happy.
Finn: (Eyes sparkle) You... wanna hug?
Flame Princess: Yes.
(Both Finn and Flame Princess approached each other and Jake interrupts for a moment.)
Jake: Woah! Hold on "mama."
(Then moments later, Jake wraps Finn with FOILED AGAIN tin foil like a burrito.)
Jake: (Pats the foil) Okay bro, tin foil's on. You can hug now.
(Both Finn and Flame Princess approached each other again and blushed from back to front.) (Then Flame Princess hugs Finn and her flames become a little stronger.)
Jake: (Weird smile)
Flame Princess: (Whispers) Bye, Finn.
(Then Finn and Jake leaves)
Finn: (Turns around) Bye! (Loses some balance)
Flame Princess: (Giggles and waves Good Bye at Finn.)
Jake: Looks like your date went pretty good buddy.
Finn: Uh... I don't know, was the hug okay? Give me some tips man.
Jake: Bro, you gotta let things take their natural path. Look, look (Turns right arm to 15 small stairsteps), let me explain some junk about dating. Right now, (Points left finger to first step), you're at Tier 1, which is hugging. But pretty soon, (Points left finger to second step) you'll be at Tier 2, which is smooching. Then down the road (points left finger to fifth step), you'll make it to Tier 5, where she'll let you discover all fifteen feet of her loong, beautiful stomach. Then after awhile, you'll make it to Tier 8 (points left finger to eighth step), where you touch her horn for the very first time. Very special.
Finn: (Very curious) (Pops out his left arm and points left finger to fifteenth step)) What about Tier 15?
Jake: (Warns Finn while pointing his left finger at him) You stay away from that! Do not do Tier 15!
Finn: (Terrified) Dude, I got no idea what you're talking about.
Jake: (Undoes the 15 small stairsteps) Don't worry about it dude, just let things naturally move to Tier 2. Oh and um, you need a shower dude.
Finn: What!? (Pops out right arm) (Rips a bit of tinfoil) (Then sniffs self) Oh gross.
(Later, near the Tree Fort)
Finn: Do you think Flame Princess could smell me?
(At the front door)
(Jake opens the front door)
Princess Bubblegum: Wassup, guys?
Finn and Jake: Princess Bubblegum?!
Jake: What are you doing here?
Princess Bubblegum: Collecting taxes, you guys weren't home. So I let myself in.
Finn: I'm gonna take a shower. Princess, do not inhale!
Princess Bubblegum: What? Why?
Finn: Just don't. (Flips to the ladder and climbs up quickly) Hyap!
Princess Bubblegum: What's that all about?
Jake: Aah, he's just smelly from a day of running around with his lady-friend.
Princess Bubblegum: (Curious and interested) Ooh, a lady-friend, do tell.
Jake: Uh, I shouldn't say. It's his business.
Princess Bubblegum: (Sits on the floor to hear better) Oh, come on, you can tell me.
Jake: That's his personal biz, you gotta respect the man's p-biz.
Princess Bubblegum: Okay, you're right, I'll respect it.
(Suddenly Jake reveals in an outburst)
Jake: Flame Princess! He's hanging out with Flame Princess!
Princess Bubblegum: (Distraughted) What!?
Jake: And I don't mean to be telling stories out of school. But pretty soon, (lowers voice) they're gonna be taking it to Tier 2.
Princess Bubblegum: No, this isn't possible.
Jake: Oh, it's possible.
Princess Bubblegum: I just never thought, Flame Princess. I-uh-I have to go.
(Moments later, outside the Tree Fort)
Princess Bubblegum: Morrow!
Morrow: (Picks up Princess Bubblegum)
(Inside the Tree Fort)
Jake: (Confused) Mmm, weird.
BMO: (Climbs down the ladder) Guess who's late for their video chat. (Opens the video chat and President Porpoise appears)
Jake: (Gasps) President Porpoise!
President Porpoise: (Dolphin sounds)
(Later at Princess Bubblegum's bedroom)
Princess Bubblegum: (Opens the door quickly and runs to her bed) No, no. (Gets her diary at the back of her pillow and writes down: FINN + LOVE + FLAME PRINCESS) Oh gob, I thought I'd be ready for this.
(The next day)
(Jake pulls out the contents out of the sack which was Princess Bubblegum's taxes to collect)
Finn: Yyyaawn! (Finn slides down the ladder, then jumps over Jake) Whoop. Jake, I'm going to see Flame Princess, be back later. (Panting while running towards the door and then he opens it.)
(Suddenly Princess Bubblegum was standing in the doorway)
Princess Bubblegum: Finn!
Finn: (Shrieks like a girl)
Jake: Ok Princess, you need to stop breaking in here.
Princess Bubblegum: I have something important to tell you. About relationships.
Finn: Ah, that's okay, Princess.
Princess Bubblegum: I just hope, you'll understand. (Picks a crystal from her purse, then drops it to the floor and suddenly a holo-screen appears. Next she moves the contents of the holo-screen) Relationships (drops her purse) are like layers of sedimentary rock.......
Finn: Jake, Flame Princess is waiting for me. I'm gonna bounce out.
Jake: Uh, ok, (lowers voice) Tier 2 baby!
Finn: Word. (Then flips out of the Tree Fort's front door)
(Jake turns around and sees more boring stuff.)
Princess Bubblegum: If too much frustration builds, the magma will erupt causing a catastrophic super-stratum of igneous rock to form......
(Then Jake falls asleep and starts daydreaming)
Jake: What? Where am I?
Mini-snowman: Jake, you're president now!
(The Mini-snowman and the other 2 animals clap for Jake being the new president.)
Jake: Oh my glosh! (Starts dancing)
(Princess Bubblegum tries to wake up Jake)
Princess Bubblegum: Jake!
Jake: (Groans for 3 times)
Princess Bubblegum: Wake up!
Jake: (Groans another and regains consciousness)
Princess Bubblegum: Jake, where's Finn?
Jake: He stepped out.
Princess Bubblegum: Will you tell him why he can't see Flame Princess anymore?
Jake: Oh, oh! (Thinking Princess Bubblegum is jealous) I see what's going on here!
Princess Bubblegum: Great! I cannot stress how important it is that they not see each other. (Then leaves the Tree Fort)
Jake: Oh man, PB is totally jealous of Flame Princess!
(Several hours later, Finn returns home.)
(Moments later, inside the Tree Fort, Jake is playing with BMO)
BMO: Jump, punch, kick, kiss!
Jake: What's up man?
Finn: Yo, dude! So what did Princess Bubblegum want?
Jake: She doesn't want you see Flame Princess anymore. She's crazy jealous!
Finn: (Suddenly frowns)
Jake: So, you at Tier 2 yet?
Finn: (Recalls) I got about five hugs, does that count?
Finn: (Embarrassed) Uhaah.. Well, I'm still at Tier 1.
Jake: I know exactly what'll get you Tier 2.... A "sappy poem." (Takes Finn to the bedroom)
(Moments later, at their bedroom)
Jake: Say something about her "spectrum."
Finn: Ee-eww! Let's see.... She's bright. She's beautiful. She makes me feel... confused, l-like something's filling up my chest, like I can't breathe, is it because she's so.. dangerous? Glob, Jake, I can't stand it! (Checks Jake)
Jake: (Snoring while sleeping)
(Then the sun rises and Finn looks at it for an idea.)
(Later outside, Finn sits near a tree facing the rising sun making a poem)
Finn: Inspiration... (Then writes again, thinks, rips out another paper, and starts writing again.)
(Princess Bubblegum suddenly appears nearby)
Princess Bubblegum: Finn!
Finn: (Shrieks like a girl)
Princess Bubblegum: Whatcha doin'?
Finn: Oh, uh, hi, Princess. I'm, uhh, writing something for Jake.
Princess Bubblegum: Oh, well, speaking of Jake. Did he explain everything to you?
Princess Bubblegum: And you understand?
Finn: (Turns around) Yeah, I understand.
Princess Bubblegum: Finn, sometimes you want someone and you (puts hand on Finn's left knee) want to kiss them, and be with them. But you can't, because responsibility demands sacrifice.
Finn: (Finn is angered, blushing and he retaliates) What are you trying to say?!
Princess Bubblegum: I'm trying to say that you're a hero, Finn. You're my hero. So, I'm glad you understand why you can't be with Flame Princess.
Finn: (Still angered, stands up for himself and Flame Princess) Grr... Bubblegum! I can't do this anymore!
Princess Bubblegum: What?
Finn: Now you like me!?
Princess Bubblegum: Finn, what are you talking about?
Finn: What am I talking about!? (Sighs and assumes) Princess Bubblegum, I was.... geh...eh.. (Blushes) I was in love with you! Okay?! And you didn't love me back! Now I'm ready to move on, and it's like...rrmph!! You're gonna build me up all over again! Well, I'm done! I'm done. (Leaves Princess Bubblegum for herself)
Princess Bubblegum: (Picks up a piece of crumpled paper and tries reading it, then quietly exclaims) Oh, no!
(Later at the Tree Fort, Jake is making and singing "Bacon Pancakes")
(Then Princess Bubblegum appears climbing up a ladder.)
Princess Bubblegum: Finn! Jake, where's Finn? Is he with Flame Princess?
Jake: (Taps the frying pan) Back off, Bubblegum! That's his "man's biz."
Princess Bubblegum: Is he with her?! (Shows the crumpled paper to Jake) Or not?!
Jake: (Jake is angered and he retaliates) You heartless monster! Do you have any idea how much he's CRIED OVER YOU? Finn deserves to be happy, even if his blooping face gets burned off! (Picks up PANCAKE TOWER box) You should be (throws box to Princess Bubblegum) ashamed! (Princess Bubblegum dodges the box) You're SICK! (Points and blames Princess Bubblegum for everything)
Princess Bubblegum: What are you..? This isn't about some (crumples the paper) petty love triangle! Flame Princess is physically unstable! (Explains) Her elemental matrix can't handle extreme romance! Glob, if Finn tries to kiss her, she'll burn so hot, she'll melt right through the planet's crust, down through the molten core, then she'll be thrown back and forth by gravity until she burns out the world from the inside! Why do you think I had her father keep her locked up?!
Jake: (Shocked and Gasps)
Princess Bubblegum: Will you take me to them?
(Jake turns around, shuts the burner, grabs Princess Bubblegum, grows huge, breaks the wall, and makes a run for it.)
Princess Bubblegum: Faster!
(Later, near Flame Princess's house)
Finn: (Blushing while reciting his poem for Flame Princess.) Your wavelengths are my weakness, your emissions are what I've been missing. (Then the poem is accidentally burnt by Flame Princess.)
Finn and Flame Princess: (Both giggle)
Flame Princess: Ahhh.
(Then Finn and Flame Princess lean in to kiss each other.)
Princess Bubblegum: No!
(Finn and Flame Princess kiss for the very first time, followed by a bright light from the instability of Flame Princess's elemental matrix, which throws Finn to the ground.)
Finn: (In pain, with serious burns around the lips) Ohhhh-uh, Flame Princess! (Crawls to the melted hole)
(Flame Princess continues to melt and fall through the Earth's crust.)
Finn: FLAME PRINCESS!
Jake: (Panting) Finn!
Princess Bubblegum: Finn, there's no time! You have to...
Jake: Are you alright?
(Finn grabs Jake's right arm, ties it around himself, and jumps into the hole after Flame Princess.)
Princess Bubblegum: Finn!
Jake: (Difficulty of handling Finn keeps increasing. He slips and covers the entire hole.)
Finn: (Panting, then he hits ground. The surrounding scene color changes from red to violet.) Ohhh-tsst. Flame Princess!
Jake: (In pain) It's hot!
Princess Bubblegum: Wait, wait! Don't move. This is good! If you stay on the hole for 24.8 seconds, the reaction will be deprived of oxygen. (Hushed voice) She'll go out.
Jake: (Still in pain) Geh.. What about Finn?
(At the bottom of the hole)
Finn: Hey! (Struggling to breathe) What's wrong? Please, say something. (Breathes twice) Please... (breathes) I need you... (breathes) to be okay. (Takes a deep breath and gives Flame Princess air to save her.)
(Flame Princess burns again and regains consciousness.)
(Finn loses consciousness, with added burns to the right side of his face.)
Flame Princess: Huh, ummm. (Gasps)
(Jake pulls out both Finn and Flame Princess successfully.)
Finn: (Coughs) Are you okay?
Flame Princess: I'm okay. I'm okay.
(Princess Bubblegum struggles to get out of Jake's weight and gets a relief.)
Princess Bubblegum: (Sighs) She's stabilized. We're safe... for now.
(Then Finn discovers another way of kissing Flame Princess without getting hurt.)
Finn: (Blushes) (Kisses a rock.)
Flame Princess: (Blushes) (Kisses the same rock, which smolders slightly.)
Princess Bubblegum: Oh, Finn.
(She turns around and sees Jake staring at her with a grin.)
Princess Bubblegum: (Unhappy) What?
Jake: (Weird smile) Jeeeaalous?
Princess Bubblegum: Shut up.
(The episode ends)