This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Business Time" from season 1, which aired on April 26, 2010.
Music
None
None
This transcript is complete.
Transcript
- [The episode begins at Iceberg Lake where Finn is lighting a flamethrower with a flambit]
- Finn: Yeah! [Laughs and torches an iceberg] Yeah!
- [The iceberg melts, exposing several objects inside]
- Finn: I found another bike and more computers. What do you got?
- Jake: I keep finding baby shoes!
- [Jake torches an iceberg with his flamethrower and exposes more baby shoes]
- Jake: WHAT THE HECK, MAN?! And they're all lefties! Sorry I'm not finding any loot.
- Finn: Keep it together, chubby, because I think we found enough scrap to finish building our gauntlet dock; a dock that is also a gauntlet.
- Jake: Aww. Building this gauntlet dock is hard, man. Hard work sucks.
- Finn: Don't be lazy, Jake.
- [There's a bubbling noise coming from the lake behind Finn and Jake]
- Finn: Huh?
- Jake: Incoming iceberg!
- Finn: Whoa! That one's huge!
- Jake: I got dibs! Ooo. I hope it's not baby shoes.
- [Jake wipes the surface of the ice, which reveals a face within the ice]
- Jake: [Gasps] It's a guy.
- Finn: Creepy. It's a buncha guys.
- Jake: You know what they remind me of? Well-dressed pickles.
- Finn: Stand back, Jake! I'm gonna melt 'em outta there! Full charge.
- [Finn blasts a huge flame out of his flamethrower and Jake runs up to stop him]
- Jake: Whoa, don't roast 'em, man. You gotta flambé.
- [Jake gently brushes the flame across the iceberg and it soon melts]
- Jake: Ah. Perfecto. Bon appetit.
- Finn: Hey! Can you hear me? Hello?
- Jake: [Knocking on one of their heads] I don't think they made it.
- Finn: Hey. [Reaching for a briefcase] This one's got some kind of pack.
- [One of them comes to life and pushes Finn away; Finn screams]
- Red-tie businessman: I remember... business.
- Finn: Let go! Let go! Let go!
- Red-tie businessman: We... are Business Men.
- Finn: Oooh... Well, I'm Finn and he's Jake.
- Jake: What kind of business do you do?
- Red-tie businessman: Been frozen... so long, I... [The businessmen all shake their heads, as if in pain] can't remember. Can't remember! Oh. Looking for help, your business? We love work for you.
- Finn: Nah. Adventurers don't need any help.
- Jake: Yes! Help us fix that dock.
- Red-tie businessman: Dock-ka?
- Jake: Yeah! Right over there.
- Red-tie businessman: Yes. This dock-ka... could be more... efficient.
- Finn: No! Wait!
- [The businessmen reel back and murmur as if frightened]
- Finn: Jake, this dock is our fun pie. We should be the ones to bake it.
- Jake: But they're begging for it, Finn. Just look at 'em.
- [The businessmen look excited and several of them are drooling]
- Businessmen: [Murmuring] Build dock. Build dock.
- Jake: Finn. These poor souls are lost without jobs. We can't ignore their plight.
- Finn: Uhh...
- Jake: [To the businessmen] Go on guys, fix it up!
- Businessmen: Woo!
- [The businessmen murmur excitedly as they run over to the dock and begin building]
- Finn: Well... they do seem really happy to do it.
- Jake: Of course, man. They said they "love work for you."
- Businessmen: [In unison] Uhh... We finish.
- [The camera zooms out to show a completed gauntlet dock]
- Finn: Whoa!
- Jake: Told ya so.
- Finn: Come on! Let's try it out!
- [Finn and Jake run through the gauntlet dock, avoiding the traps and obstacles, while Finn screams excitedly]
- [At the end of the dock, Finn and Jake jump into the water]
- Finn: [Laughing] Yeah! Woo!
- Jake: [Laughing] Yeah! Woo! [Panting] See? If we hire them full time, they'll be back in business and we'll be able to focus on fun stuff. Everybody wins!
- Finn: Maybe you're right.
- Jake: [To the businessmen] You hear that, guys? Maybe I'm right!
- Red-tie businessman: Really? Job? With... ad-ven-tur-ers?
- Jake: Yeah, mans!
- [The businessmen cheer and dance]
- [The red-tie businessman throws down his briefcase and chisels "Fin [sic] & Jake Adventuring Incorporated" into the side]
- [The scene changes to the Tree Fort where the businessmen are cleaning weapons, ironing socks and shining shoes]
- [Jake is playing a video game on BMO]
- Finn: Feels weird doing nothing.
- Jake: Relax, man. This is your day off.
- Hot Dog Princess: [From far in the distance] Help! Somebody help!
- Finn: Trouble, dude! Get your axe! I'll get my... wha?
- Red-tie businessman: Adventure pack... ready for you.
- Finn: Hey, thanks man.
- [The scene changes to Finn and Jake running across the Grass Lands, weapons in hand]
- Finn: I have to say, Jake. My sword is totally shiny and stinkin' sharp!
- Jake: Uh huh.
- Finn: Even my shoes feel different. Not only are they clean, I feel radder, faster, more... adequate.
- Jake: Cool!
- [The businessmen are running behind Finn and Jake, writing notes]
- [A battle cube is chasing Hot Dog Princess]
- Hot Dog Princess: Help!
- Finn: Don't cry, Hot Dog Princess! Jake and I will fend off these battle cubes!
- [The businessmen sit off to the side and continue to take notes while eating donuts and drinking coffee]
- [Finn and Jake begin to fight the battle cubes, which are flying around Hot Dog Princess' kingdom]
- [The scene fades to a later time, where everyone is tired from fighting and Hot Dog Princess is taking a nap]
- Finn: Man. I'm getting tired.
- Jake: [Groan] Me too. These cubes are... frickin' resilient. Hey, business dudes! Hold off these cubes so we can catch our breath?
- Finn: Jake! They don't know how to fight.
- [The businessmen run over, wearing armor and wielding weapons; they begin fighting the battle cubes while Finn and Jake rest]
- Red-tie businessman: [Offering bottled water and orange slices] Water. Orange slices. Help rehydrate.
- [Red-tie businessman runs back into battle, shouting]
- Jake: These guys are great, right?
- Finn: I gotta admit... they are helping. [Surprised] Oh! I think I figured out how to defeat the battle cubes!
- Jake: That's 'cause you had time to rest your body and refresh your brain.
- Finn: [To businessmen] Ok! We'll take it from here, guys!
- Jake: Yeah! Good work.
- [Finn and Jake run towards the battle cubes; Jake roars and grows large]
- Finn: Grab all the cubes together!
- [Jake stretches his hands to become giant and clasps them together, grabbing all the cubes]
- Jake: Got 'em!
- [Finn grunts and jumps into Jake's hands with a rope and ties all the battle cubes together into a single, large cube]
- Finn: It worked!
- [Jake throws the cubes off into the distances]
- Finn: Wake up, Hot Dog Princess. You're free.
- Hot Dog Princess: Oh! Thank you, Finn and Jake! Especially you, Finn.
- [Hot Dog Princess stands on her hind legs and puckers her lips, as if to give Finn a kiss]
- [Finn rears back, disgusted]
- Finn: [Whispering to Jake] Ugh. She smells like old hot dog water.
- [Jake giggles and the red-tie businessman runs in between Finn and Hot Dog Princess to take the kiss instead]
- Red-tie businessman: [Whispering to Finn] I take one for team.
- Finn: This is awesome! You get a promotion, fella.
- [Red-tie businessman cheers and dances]
- businessman: Take one for team, too.
- [The other businessmen begin kissing Hot Dog Princess]
- [The scene changes to the Tree Fort where Finn and Jake are playing BMO]
- Jake: Oh... Lost again!
- Finn: [Grabbing the controller] My turn.
- [Jake walks over to the businessmen, operating a large collection of wires and monitors]
- Jake: What's that?
- [Jake goes to the freezer and takes out a tub of ice cream]
- Red-tie businessman: Hero vision monitor. Use satellite to tell us world problems.
- Jake: Oh, wow. Anything going on?
- Red-tie businessman: Just small things. You save stress for big thing.
- Jake: Freakin' awesome, man.
- Finn: What are they doing?
- Jake: Takin' care of business.
- [Jake eats a scoop of ice cream and Finn plays the video game]
- Finn: Jake, hit me!
- [Jake flings a scoop of ice cream into Finn's mouth]
- [Time passes, showing more and more empty ice cream tubs stacked near Finn and Jake while both of them are getting fatter and fatter]
- Video game: Mission complete.
- Jake: Yeah!
- [Finn and Jake get up and dance around, shaking their enormous guts]
- Finn: We beat Adventure Master!
- Jake: Holy moly!
- Finn: We're adventure masters!
- Jake: Woo! Yes!
- [Finn and Jake both get tired and stop celebrating to take a breath]
- Finn & Jake: [Tired] Ooo.
- Finn: I never knew being fat and lazy was so rewarding.
- Jake: Yeah. [pushing around Finn's gut] You're gut's so huge and moldable.
- Finn: Hey!
- Jake: Hold on a sec!
- Finn: [Laughs] Man, that tickles.
- [Jake manipulates Finn's gut to look like the Ice King]
- Jake: [Impersonating Ice King's voice] I'm the Ice King, and I'll never find a bride because I'm such a tool.
- Finn: [Laughs] Alright, let me try.
- [Finn manipulates his gut to look like Princess Bubblegum]
- Finn: [Impersonating Princess Bubblegum's voice] I'm Princess Bubblegum and I'm a dork, because I like science! I've also got a really annoying voice that Finn thinks is attractive!
- Jake: [Laughs] That's a- Hey, what'd you say?
- Lumpy Space Princess: [On a hero vision monitor, running from a Swamp Giant] Ahh! Oh, my gosh! Leave me alone. All I said was "you're ugly," which is totally true. Somebody help me! Oh no!
- Jake: Man, I am not in the mood for saving Lumpy Space Princess.
- Finn: Hey, business dudes!
- [The businessmen enter the room from various directions]
- Finn: What do you guys think?
- Red-tie businessman: Hmm... Just one monster. We do.
- [The businessmen run off]
- Jake: Right. We'll just save our strength for the big adventures, then.
- [Finn and Jake sit back down on their couch and relax]
- Jake: Ahh. Nice call, dude.
- Finn: Imagine how awesome the adventure's going to be when it's time for us to go out there.
- Jake: I'm too tired to imagine stuff, but I bet you're right.
- Finn & Jake: [Both grabbing a tub of ice cream and toasting with them] To being great adventurers!
- [They both begin eating ice cream; time passes and shows that they have empty tubs and ice cream all over their faces. They are even fatter, and Finn's gut is now visible outside his shirt]
- [Finn and Jake both groan and waiver until they fall over]
- Finn: Oh, gosh.
- A voice in the distance: Help us!
- Finn: Huh? Jake! Did you hear that?
- Jake: Yeah. Let the businessmen handle it.
- A voice in the distance: Help! Please!
- Finn: I heard it again.
- Jake: businessmen, dude.
- A voice in the distance: Heeeeeelp!
- [Finn walks over to the window and gasps, seeing the businessmen in a large robot, sucking up Fuzzy Friends into a container]
- Red-tie businessman: [Through a PA system] Woo-hoo! Woo!
- Finn: Jake! We messed up! The businessmen have gone bat-crazy, dude!
- Jake: [Still lying on the floor] Man, just let the businessmen handle it.
- Finn: THE BUSINESSMEN ARE THE PROBLEM, you lazy plug-hole!
- Jake: [Opens his eyes, surprised] Huh?
- Finn: [Yelling out the window] Guys!
- [Finn begins to climb out the window and down to the bottom of the Tree Fort]
- Finn: Guys, stop it!
- Finn: [Running up to the businessmen's robot] Stop it, guys!
- Red-tie businessman: Stop what, boss?
- Finn: You're jacking up those Fuzzy Friends!
- Red-tie businessman: But... We're being heroes. Like you, boss. We're protecting them. Collecting them in our care-sack so they cannot be hurt. It's the most efficient way to save people.
- Finn: But you're making them unhappy!
- Red-tie businessman: Irrelevant! These people are in our care-sack. Their happiness is not priority.
- Finn: I am your boss! And you guys are all fired!
- [The businessmen begin to murmur to each other]
- Red-tie businessman: Fi-red?
- [The businessmen shout angrily and start sucking up the Fuzzy Friends even faster than before]
- [They move their robot and it crushes one of the Fuzzy Friends]
- Finn: Nooo! Alright, guys. Now I've gotta take you down... Finn style.
- [Finn runs over to kick their robot, and gets sucked up into the care-sack]
- Finn: I'm kicking your care-sack, dudes!
- Jake: Finn? Whoa... Crud.
- [Jake squeezes his enormous gut out the window]
- Jake: I'm comin' buddy!
- [Jake flops onto the ground, still holding a tub of ice cream]
- Jake: Ahh. I'm so fat, dude; I don't know what to do.
- Finn: [Gasp] That's it! Jake! Demoralize them!
- Jake: What? Why?
- Finn: Do it, man! I have a legit plan!
- Jake: Ok, Alright. [To businessmen] Hey! You guys are horrible at business!
- [The businessmen lash about angrily and try to suck Jake up into their care-sack, but he's too fat to fit]
- Jake: Huh? They're sucking me up, dude!
- Finn: Now, eat that ice cream some more to become fatter, while also using your Stretchy Powers to grow huge!
- [Jake chows down on the ice cream and starts getting bigger]
- Jake: [lifting his head up for a second] Ok!
- [Jake uses his Stretchy Powers as he gets pulled into the robot]
- Jake: This sucks.
- Finn: Yeah, dude! Keep growin'! You're breaking apart their robot!
- [The robot begins to shake violently, the businessmen scream]
- Jake: Oh no!
- [The robot explodes and Finn, Jake and the businessmen go flying into the air]
- Red-tie businessman: [Attempting to grab Finn] I'm going to kill you, not-boss!
- Finn: Wait, man! Wait! I wanna re-hire you guys!
- Red-tie businessman: Re-hire? Really?
- Finn: Yeah, mans.
- Businessmen: Woo hoo!
- [As they all fall back to the ground, the businessmen and Finn grasp hands and form a five-point star]
- [The scene changes to a beach, where Finn, Jake and the Fuzzy Friends are waving towards the water]
- Fuzzy Friends: Yay! Hip-hip hooray! Pancakes!
- [The businessmen are once again frozen in an iceberg and float back out to the middle of the lake]
- Jake: So, wait... What'd you hire them to do?
- Finn: I hired them to stuff themselves in that iceberg and get outta here.
- Jake: [Sigh] I'm gonna miss 'em. And I'm gonna miss this gut.
- [Jake uses his Stretchy Powers to return to his normal size]
- Finn: [Laughs] I'm gonna miss my gut too.
- [Finn strains and attempts to suck in his gut like Jake, but it doesn't disappear]
- Finn: Aww! Aww...
- [The camera zooms in to Finn's frowning face, and the the word "THE END" appears on the top of his hat. The episode ends.]