This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Cherry Cream Soda (episode)" from season 7, which aired on November 4, 2015.

Candy Kingdom
This transcript is incomplete.


Root Beer Guy: Fearlessly, Captain Root Beer Guy charges across the battlefield. The ancient sleeper raises his power staff to attack. With one lever pull, Captain Root Beer Guy saves the...
Cherry Cream Soda: Root Beer Guy!
[Exhales sharply]
Cherry Cream Soda: One day at a time.
Cherry Cream Soda: Okay, Loafy, just a second.
Chery Cream Soda: [Water running] Hmm?
Chery Cream Soda: Hello?
Chery Cream Soda: Root Beer Guy?
Starchy: Nope. Starchy. You do this every morning.
Chery Cream Soda: I know. I'm sorry, honey. I'm trying, but I can't stop thinking about him.
Starchy: Look, we've been married two months already. I love you, baby, but isn't there an expiration date to this grieving thing?
Chery Cream Soda: I don't think it works that way.
Chery Cream Soda: Starchy, dear, could you feed the cat later? I've got to prep a witness tonight.
Starchy: Anything for my Chery Cream Soda and her sweet, little kitty cat. [Hisses] Oh! I'll win your heart someday, Loafy. We can't all be a cute, little character with a cure, little straw sticking out of our cute, little head.But take some advice from an old grave digger, huh? Maybe it's time to do something with that. Here a thought... I could bury this for you. An unmarked grave kind of thing. Just... sswt!... Toss him in there with whoever.
Chery Cream Soda: Well, that's... that seems macabre. But sweet. I'll think about it.
Starchy: Okay, okay. [Smooches] See you tonight.
Chery Cream Soda: Looks like it's gonna rain. Don't forget your umbrella, Starchy.
Starchy: Ooh, thanks. Maybe I'll take my hoe in case things set sloppy. Well, bye again.
Chery Cream Soda: Bye.
[Wind whistling]
[Indistinct conversations]
Princess Bubblegum: You two are married.
[Wind whistling]
Chery Cream Soda: Good bye, Root Beer Guy
[Thunder rumbling]
Chery Cream Soda: Good Morning, husband.
Starchy: Good morning, wife.
Chery Cream Soda: Shaving your 'stache?
Starchy: Uh-huh.
Chery Cream Soda: Aaaaahhhh! Starchy! What? What?
[Both screaming]
Starchy: Blazes mazes! What is going on?
Chery Cream Soda: I saw him. He was right outside.
Starchy: Who? Finn? Jake? Candy person number 22?
Chery Cream Soda: Maybe I can still catch him...
Dirt Beer Guy: Hi, sweetie. I was dead, but I came back to life. That was really something. Hmm.
Starchy: It's okay, baby. Starchy's here.
Chery Cream Soda: Oh, thank heavens. It was just another hallucina-a-tion.
Dirt Beer Guy: Honey, I'm fairly upset that you remarried.
Chery Cream Soda: But how is ths possible? You were zapped by Darren, the ancient sleeper. Your dome was cracked. Your root beer soaked into the ground. I buried you remains in a mason jar, which is now your head. And... and... and now I'm with Starchy. I mean we're... we're legally married. You're legally dead. Not that I want to sound obsessed with legalities, but I am a lawyer.
Dirt Beer Guy: Hey, where's that little statue I got you? It said,"I wuv you," on the base of it. It was a little bear with his arms out like this.
Dirt Beer Guy: He was all, "I wuv you, I wuv you, I wuv you."
Starchy: No sudden moves, baby. He's got freaky zombie strength.
Dirt Beer Guy: Maybe it's up here. [Grunts] Did you hire a maid service or something while I was gone? I sure hope they didn't throw out the "I wuv you" bear.
Starchy: Enough! I should have put you in the ground a long time ago!
Dirt Beer Guy: Hey, I came back for her.
Cherry Cream Soda: Root Beer Guy, if that is you in there, I'm so pround of you. But this isn't fair. You endend our life together when you pulled that lever. You made the choice, and you saved the kingdom. But you lost me.
Starchy: Heh, Burn.
Dirt Beer Guy: Cherry Cream Soda, I still wuv you... whoa!
Dirt Beer Guy: You always wanted this wall knocked down anyway, right? [Chuckles] Ooh.
Cherry Cream Soda: Oooh! Wah! You come back with no explanation, wreck up the place, and you expect to just pick up where we left off? Get out of my house!
Dirt Beer Guy: I'm sorry.
Starchy: Starchy wins!
Jake: That's funny.
Starchy: I can't believe you used to be married to such a freak.
Cherry Cream Soda: He isn't a freak. Or he didn't used to be.
Starchy: Shh, shh, shh, shh. Don't worry, honey.
Cherry Cream Soda: Don't touch me now, please. I need time to think.
Starchy: Look, baby. Starchy knows all the fresh windows in town, and Starchy chose you. Starchy wuvs you.
Starchy: It's time to dig a hole.
Dirt Beer Guy: I thought she'd be happy to see me, but it was a disaster. I didn't know where to pick up with her, so of course I just acted like a goof. Oh, and now I'm one of the undead, I guess.
Jake: Hey, man, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you.
Lady Rainicorn: [Speaking korean]
Dirt Beer Guy: [Sighs] She's got a point though. I was the one who wanted to be the big hero, and I got my wish. But I didn't about her enough. I'm not even thinking about her right now.
Jake: Yes, you are.
Dirt Beer Guy: I am?
Jake: Run back and tell her all the stuff you've been telling us. Maybe you could pick up from a place you Haven't been yet.
Dirt Beer Guy: I don't know what that means, but it sounds very encouraging! See you guys later
Jake: He didn't bite you, did he?
Dirt Beer Guy: Cherry Cream Soda! Cherry Cream Soda! I've had a revelation of some kind.
Starchy: No dirt-heads allowed.
Dirt Beer Guy: Uh, but I have to talk to Cherry Cream Soda.
Starchy: Oh, no you don't. Nuh-uh.
Dirt Beer Guy: I'm trying to be polite.
Dirt Beer Guy: Oh, dear. Hmm. Pardon me!
Starchy: It's on zombie.
Cherry Cream Soda: What the heck?
Starchy: You have met your match, freaky dirt guy! Woo-woo-woo-woo!
Dirt Beer Guy: Look, will you give me a break?
Starchy: Too chicken, huh? Look, I'll put the slovels down. See? Hah!
Dirt Beer Guy: This is childish.
[Knock the door]
Starchy: Ha!
Dirt Beer Guy: Get away from my head!
Starchy: Ho-ho!
Starchy: We have some unfinished business. Wait for me, Little Dirt Beer!
Starchy: Ooh is somebody afraid of old Starchy?
Dirt Beer Guy: I'm afraid of killing you.
Starchy: Oh, boo-hoo. Don't hurt me!
Dirt Beer Guy: Ugh. Is it not possible to get away from you?
Starchy: I'm escorting you to your new home... Far away from my house.
Dirt Beer Guy: It's not even your house.
Starchy: Ha! It's practically mine.
Starchy: Tonight you'll sleep in a hole... The same dirty grave hole from whence you sprang!
Dirt Beer Guy: I'm not usually violent, but you pushed me.
Dirt Beer Guy: Nah. What's this?
Dirt Beer Guy: Okay, now we're talking. Poke me with a shovel now, you mustache face.
Starchy: Aw.
Cherry Cream Soda: Stop it, both of you. Neither of you thought to ask me what I want. I've made a decision who I want to be with.
[Wind whistling]
Cherry Cream Soda: I don't want to be with either of you.
Starchy: What?!
Cherry Cream Soda: You're a maniac. I can't believe I ever got that low.
Starchy: Mmm! Starchy doesn't need this.
Cherry Cream Soda: And you. I don't know you anymore.
Dirt Beer Guy: Okay. Take care of yourself.
Cherry Cream Soda: I said "I don't know you," but I'd like to. Would you like to go on a date?
Dirt Beer Guy: Yee! [Clears throat] I mean, yes. This is weird, right?
Cherry Cream Soda: Well we've never actually dated before. We got married so fast.
Dirt Beer Guy: Let's take it show this time around.
Cherry Cream Soda: One date at a time.

Episode Ends