This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Davey" from season 5, which aired on January 14, 2013.

This transcript is complete.


[The episode start out with a bunch of Candy People sitting in front of the Tree Fort when suddenly a Dragon attacks them.]
Finn: [Comes towards Jake who is sitting and playing his video-game] I'm here just in time! [Gets catapulted by Jake's hand.]
Finn: [Singing angelically] ♪Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa......♪
[The dragon smacks him higher into the air and Finn begins to fall towards the dragon; sword in hand. The Dragon flies backwards towards Finn and they collide.] [The sword hits the Dragon in the butt.]
Jake: [Shocked] Whoa!
[Finn is seen running his sword down the dragon with Candy People lining its stomach. The dragon falls dead and the Candy People come out of the dragons belly and cheer.]
Jake: [Points to Finn.] Don't let the dragon, drag on, man.
Finn: [Nods] Mhm.
Finn: [Randy hands Finn a rock] Thanks!
Randy: Sign my rock.
Finn: [laughs] Okay.
Candy Person #1: [Runs up to Finn] FINN! [Chunters] HAVE DINNER WITH ME! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! FINN! [Keeps saying please until Finn responds.]
Finn: Sure, man. Yeah. Sure, sometime.
Candy Person #1: [Cries from happiness] How about... EVERY NIGHT! THIS WEEK!
Finn: Well, maybe one night.
Candy Person #1: [Clears tears and stops crying] C'mon, man! Every night!
Randy: No, man! You get out of here!
Candy Person #1: [Punches Randy in the face] BOOM!
[Randy and Candy Person #1 start to fight against each other]
Finn: Hey, y'all! Don't fight!
Jake: [Whispers to Finn] We should get out of here, Finn. I think someone called the heat.
[Banana Guards come towards the scene while Finn and Jake run away]
[At the treehouse, Jake puts an egg in the bowl and smashes it with a spoon when they hear a noise outside. Finn goes to the window and checks it out]
Finn: Sucks!
BMO: [Runs up to Finn] Finn, can't go outside today?
Finn: I guess I could. I just don't wanna deal with those guys right now.
BMO: Ooooohhhhhh.... Deal with me! [Goes and puts on a robber outfit] Let's play, [Excited tone] Cops and Robbers! [In a thief's voice] Give me your bank account! Bang! Bang! [Trips over] Reach for the roof and give me all your gold bricks.
Finn: [Playing along] Ah, okay, okay, don't hurt me!
BMO: Don't worry, Finn. [Takes off the mask] It's only me, BMO! I'm wearing [Exciting tone again] a disguise!
Finn: [Chuckles] Hmm....
[Finn is in the bathroom shaving his hair while BMO is sitting on the sink, crying with clumps of Finn's hair in its hands]
BMO: [Crying] Your beauty's destroyed!
[Finn finishes shaving his hair and covers the remaining parts in molasses. He grabs a clump of hair from the floor and dyes that as well to make a mustache.]
Finn: Hot job! BMO, how do I look?
BMO: [X eyes] Like the devil!
[Finn goes to the kitchen and startles Jake, who falls over and drops his pancake tower. Jake then turns his hand into a cage and traps Finn]
Jake: Whoa! Intruder! Finn! There's an intruder in here!
Finn: No! [Takes his mustache off] It's me! It's Finn! [Put's it back on] This is my alter-ego.... Davey Johnson!
Jake: Ohhhhhh.
Finn: I'll dress up like this so no one bothers me about being Finn.
Jake: Do you think that'll goin' to do the trick?
Finn: I dunno! [Jumps out of the treehouse]
Candy Person #1: Is that Finn?
Finn [Davey]: Hello! Ahem, hello, hello, helloo...... ahhhhhHHH [His voice scales through several autotuned octaves] [Davey's voice] Hello! I'm Davey!
[The Candy People get disappointed and go sit in front of the treefort and wait for Finn.]
Randy: Oh, I thought it was Finn on account of he's wearing Finn's exact clothes.
Davey: [running through the Candy Kingdom] Hi! I'm Davey!
Candy Person #15: Ah, so what?
Davey: You wanna have dinner with me?
Lollipop Girl: Go away, weirdo.
Davey: Haha! [Runs up to the bike store and then runs to the end of the street. He turns around and runs back. He grabs 3 coins out of the fountain. He then walks up to Cinnamon Bun who is dancing. Then he goes and sits on a bench and starts eating a coco bird]
Coco Bird Vender: Hey! You've gotta pay for those, man. I'm trying to run a business here!
Davey: [He walks up to the vender and hands him the bird.] I gotta find a job! [Runs to the fountain and tosses the three coins back in it. He enters the broom store] I need a job!
Broom Store Owner: Can you sweep a broom?
Davey: You betcha! [He grabs the broom and sweeps the small brooms]
[At sunset, the whistle blows]
Davey: Jeez louise! Quittin' time already?
Broom Store Owner: Sure is, Davey.
Davey: Take 'er easy, boss.
Broom Store Owner: Goodnight, Davey.
[Broom store owner takes a jar full of small brooms]
[At the treehouse in Finn and Jake's bedroom]
Finn: [Takes off his mustache] Man, today was awesome. Just normal, y'know? Just like a normal day. No drama, or any of that. Just super normal. Man it was great.
Jake: [While lying in his bed] That's cool. Goodnight, Finn.
Finn: [Puts on his mustache] I'm Davey.
Jake: Haha! Yeah.
Davey: I'm Davey! [Eyes turn big.]
[In the morning, sounds of wood being chopped is coming from outside]
Jake: [Wakes up] Hey, Finn, you wanna have dinner instead of breakfast today? Finn? [Wiggles his ears] That must be him. [Gets up and goes to the door]
[The Candy People are outside]
Jake: [Opens the front door. Walks up to Davey] Uhh.... What's going on?
Davey: Oh, heya, mister, thanks for putting me up last night. I'm just chopping some wood so's I can build a little log cabin to live in.
[Jake gets shocked]
Randy: [Walks up to the scene and grabs the chopped wood] Hey, I'm Randy.
Davey: Randy, wanna get dinner tonight?
Randy: Nah, I'm busy. I like to wonder at night.
Jake: Finn what's going on?
Davey: [Takes Jake to the other side of the half-built cabin. So he can talk to him in private] You gotta start calling me Davey, mister. Because that's my name!
[Jake stands still, staring at "Davey"]
Davey: [Large-eyed] Daaaaaaaaaavvvveeeeeeyyyyyy!!!
Jake: Oh, no! Have you lost your teacups, man?
Davey: Mister, I don't know nothing about that. I'm just a working joe... trying to stake my claim... under the sun... and look out on the beautiful green fields called... life!
Jake: Uhhhhhhhh........
Randy: Hey, Davey, where do you want these logs?
Davey: Oh, just attach 'em to the cabin. Like how it should be. So it looks like a cabin. We're gonna build a right wall and front wall. Ummmmm-
Randy: How about the roof?
Davey: Maybe, maybe.
Randy: I've been holding these.
Davey: They look good.
Randy: How do you put good looking wood on a cabin?
Jake: Gotta figure a way to get Finn to act normal. [Then he sees BMO running in circles dressed as a robber]
BMO: Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Pewwww.....
[Randy and Davey are sitting on rocking chairs in front of the cabin and drinking soda while Jake comes in a robber costume]
Jake: Ah! Give me the wallet! Or feel my claw! The wallet!
BMO: Watch out! A robber!
Jake: I'll cut you! I mean, rob you! [Takes randy as a hostage]
Davey: Oh, no!
Jake: I'm a robber and I'm gonna rob this guy's life! And there's nobody who can stop me. Unless there's a hero around here. [In a suggestive tone] Like there's someone here who is actually a hero in disguise. They can probably stop me. [Runs up to Davey and whispers] C'mon, Finn. Be a hero.
Randy: What? What are we talking about?
Jake: Butt out, Randy!
Randy: [While being pulled back] Uhhhhhhhhhhhh.........
[Davey goes into the cabin]
Jake: [Whispers.] Yes, Finn. Put on your awesome hat and beat me up.
Randy: What?
Jake: I'm not talking to you, Randy!
Davey: [Comes out of the cabin] I called the police.
Jake: Wait, what?
[In the next scene, the banana guards are dragging Jake]
Jake: Guys, it's not what it looks like! That guy isn't really named Davey. It's Finn! He brainwashed himself to become Davey and I was just trying to inspire him to go back to being Finn.
Banana Guards: Yeah, yeah. We've heard that before. C'mon robber!
Jake: [Shouts to Davey.] Finn, don't let the dragon drag on, man. Don't let the dragon drag on!
Davey: [In Finn's voice] Don't let the dragon........ Jake!
Randy: [While drinking his soda and sitting on the rocking chair] Well that was pretty unusual, wasn't it, Davey?
Davey: Get outta here Randy! [In an exasperated tone and angry expression] Geeeet ouuuuut! [Hits a glass against the wall]
[Randy shrugs and walks off.]
Davey: [Takes off his mustache and starts talking to it] No more Davey.
Mustache: But you love being Davey.
Finn: I do love being Davey, but being Davey caused Jake to get arrested.
Mustache: But remember that time when Davey sat in the park and saw some people walking around?
Finn: Yeah, that was nice.
Mustache: And remember that time when Davey swept the floors?
Finn: [Chuckles] Yeah, that was great, too. But-
Mustache: Do you really wanna go back to being a famous hero? Why not just be Davey? A simple man... with simple goals and simple problems. You can just blend in and live the simple life.
Finn: Yeah.... Blend in. Y'know, maybe I'll be Davey just one more time! [Puts the mustache on]
Davey: One more time!
[Banana Guards are deciding what to do while guarding the prisoners]
Banana Guard #1: C'mon, man! That last game wasn't fair.
Banana Guard #2: How about: Who can hold up their hand the longest?
Banana Guard #1: Okay, this game breaks the tie.
Banana Guard #2: Okay.
Banana Guard #1: Last game.
Banana Guard #2: Last game.
[They both hold up their hands while Davey comes in and sweeps the floor]
Davey: Hey, fellas. How's tricks?
Banana Guard #2: Hm? Oh, hey Davey.
Davey: [Goes next to Banana Guard #2 and whispers to himself] Ah! Keys! [Touches the key with his broom]
Banana Guard #2: Hm? [Starts shivering] What's going on?
Davey: Ah. Would you care for a body sweep?
Banana Guard #2: Umm... yeah... sure. I do feel kinda dirty.
[Davey starts sweeping Banana Guard #2's body]
Banana Guard #1: Whew! You sure know how to party, Davey! [The guards are struggling to hold their arms up]
Davey: [Knocks the keys into his pocket with the broom]
Banana Guard #2: [Cheers because he's winning] Yes yes yes!
Banana Guard #1: No no no!
Davey: [Walks up to Jake's prison while the banana guards are distracted. He opens Jake's prison door open with the key]
Jake: Davey?!
[Davey takes off his mustache]
Finn: No, it's me, [Finn's eyes grow big] Finn!
Jake: Finn! [Walks up to Finn]
Banana Guard #2: [Comes to Jake's prison] Here's your meal, criminal. We feed our criminals. [Realizes the prisoner is free. Drops the meal] Hey, stop!
[Finn and Jake run out of the prison with the guards following behind]
Finn: [Puts Jake's robber clothes on a candy horse and sticks his mustache to the back of the horse. He takes his hat out and puts it on, then waves to the mustache] Goodbye, Davey.
Mustache [Davey]: Goodbye, Finn.
[Finn slaps the horses butt and the horse starts running. Then the Banana Guards come.]
Banana Guard #2: Hey, there they go!
Banana Guard #1: Yeah, there goes Davey and the criminal.
[They both see Finn] Oh, hey, Finn! [They start following Davey and the criminal]
Finn: Good luck catching those guys!
Banana Guard #2: [Shouts out to Finn] Thanks!
Jake: [In Finn's pocket] Glad to have you back, buddy.
Finn: Word.
[Jake turns his back and farts and the episode ends.]