Fandom

Adventure Time with Finn and Jake Wiki

Evicted!/Transcript

< Evicted!

2,780pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Talk2 Share

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.

This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Evicted!" from season 1, which aired on Sneak peek: March 18, 2010
Official: May 17, 2010.

This transcript is complete; only minor edits are needed.

Transcript

[The scene begins at the Tree Fort.]
Jake: And as it waded through the carnage that it had wrought, the vampire smashed their skulls just for the fun of it!
Finn: No way!
Jake: Yes way, it did. And also the vampire hunched over its victims and breathed their vaporized blood mist.
[warbling with tongue]
Finn: Ah, jeez! Jake, is this stuff you're saying true? Or are you just trying to mess me up? You have to be honest.
Jake: Oh, it's true, man. I heard it through a reliable source.
Finn: Reliable? Rats!
Jake: Yeah. Some say it haunted this very tree!
Finn: This tree?!
Jake: [ominously] Good niiiight...
Finn: Jake?
[Jake warbling downstairs]
Finn: You're full of it, Jake!
[Jake warbling ominously]
Finn: Errr... [he hears croaking and sees a worm on his bed] NO WORMS ON THE BED! [Hits worm with the Enchiridion.]
[Sees a tree limb tapping on his window, then a mysterious figure taps on the window]
Finn: Huh? [Lightning crashes, and the figure's scary face is seen]
Finn: AAAAAH!!! [Runs downstairs]
Finn: Jake! Jake! I saw someone outside the window! It must be the vampire, and I think we're unprepared, so I--
Jake: Relax, buddy. I made that story up. I was just trying to scare you.
Finn: But you said you heard it from a reliable source!
Jake: Ha ha! I made that up, too. I was trying to scare you, and it worked! [laughs]
[the window blows open by itself, the lights go out, and Jake screams]
Finn: No one's outside.
Jake: Whew!
Finn: It was just the wind, scaredy-cat.
Jake: I wasn't scared, I was singing. I was singing my scream song. Ahh! Ahh! AAaah-uh-aah!
Finn: You're a total wuss, man.
[a bag drops, there is a vampire on the ceiling that hisses and scares Finn and Jake]
Marceline: Hey, guys. What's up? I'm Marceline the Vampire Queen.
Finn: [afraid] Are you gonna smash my skull and breathe my blood mist?!
Jake: Don't suck our blood!
Marceline: [laughing] Calm down, weenies. I'm not gonna do that. [Lights candles]
Finn: Soooo, you don't suck blood?
Marceline: Sometimes, I do. But it's not the blood that I like. It's the color. I eat shades of red.
[Sucks the red out of a strawberry, and gives it to Finn]
Marceline: Ugh, I am exhausted. I've been traveling all over the Land of Ooo. And I've seen some stuff that would really make you say "like what?"
Finn: Like what?
Marceline: I encountered a school of goldfish beasts. [A flashback of Marceline riding giant goldfish]
Marceline: And I fooled around in the Fire Kingdom. [A flashback of Marceline hula-hooping in the Fire Kingdom]
Finn: OOO!
Marceline: Oh, and check these out. [She has nuts in her hands]
Finn: Nuts?
Marceline: Oh, these aren't ordinary nuts. [Squeezes the nuts and they become little creatures. One squirts Finn with ink.]
Finn: [laughs] You're wonderful.
Jake: Um, yeah. Thank you for not sucking our blood.
Marceline: You guys seem cool, too, but as you can imagine, I'm really tired, so you two should probably get going.
Finn: What?
Marceline: [sighs] Look. [She uses psychokinesis and moves a picture frame and reveals an "M" carved into the tree] "M" for "Marceline."
Jake: Aw, man.
Marceline: I carved in this tree years ago. Way before you two rascals started squatting here. [Flings them out]
Marceline: But seriously guys, thanks for keeping the place warm for me, I mean really great!
[Shuts the door]
Marceline: Good night!
Jake: Come on, Finn. Let's get out of here.
Finn: She can't kick us out of our house!
Jake: Finn!
Finn: Get down here, lady, and fight me!
Jake: She's a vampire, dude!
[Marceline sucks the red out of a crumpet, and throws it onto Finn]
Finn: I'm gonna kill her.
Jake: Dude, if half the stories I've heard, and/or made up are true, vampires will kill you. There's no question!
[Marceline hisses at them and then walks away, laughing]
Finn: But, what about our home?
Jake: A VAMPIRE TOOK IT! Aw, we should go house-hunting. Bag us a new house.
Finn: But I like our home.
Jake: Finn, house-hunting is wild! You've got to try it.
Finn: Really?
Jake: Yeah, man! It is so nuts!
Finn: You always know what to say.
Jake: Bla-bla-bla-ble-ble-bla-bloo-bloop!
Finn: Okay. I'm convinced. Let's roll!
Jake: Sweet, things are gonna start going our way. [Clouds seperate to reveal the sun] Hey, look, see? What'd I tell ya?
[House Hunting Song begins]
Finn: This is weak! I don't even like any of these places. I wanna go home.
Jake: Finn, let me tell you a little something about what home really means. [plays viola] La, la, la... [singing] Home isn't a place, let me give you a clue... Home is anywhere, where people care about you...
Finn: I don't wanna hear a lecture, dude! I just wanna go home...
Jake: [singing] But, home is where your heart is, Finn! And where is your heart, Finn? Well, it's right here inside you when I'm sitting here beside you! [talking] With your lucky stars to guide you from above. [They look up, a star floats around, then poofs and disappears]
Finn: Yeah, I guess I'd rather be out here, wrapped in your ear, than be in some awesome house all by my... souse.
Jake: I'd rather be dancing with some babes!
Finn: [laughs] Shut up, dude!
Jake: Ew... Gross. This place looks gross!
Finn: And abandoned. [Echoes]
[both scream]
Finn: [gasps] Whoa, bro... Wanna just live in here?
Jake: Yes.
♪ "So they cleaned the cave and built a house inside the cave. ♪
Jake: So whaddaya think, man? We did pretty good for ourselves.
Finn: Yeah, we did... So, ah, what should we do first with our new digs?
Jake: Let's trash it and throw a party!
Finn: Ah this is it, feelin' good, I'm feelin', I'm feelin' like we did it. I'm feelin', like, completely satisfied. Nothin' else could go wrong, ya know, Jake?
Jake: Yeah, man.
Finn: Aww, yeah, I know, too.
Marceline: Hey, Finn.
Jake: She's back!
Marceline: Wow, pretty awesome party ya got here.
Finn: What do you want, Marceline?!
Marceline: Oh, I just wanna show you somethin'. This cave belongs to me!
Finn: What!?
Marceline: Thanks for fixing the place up for me.
Finn: Y-You can't take our home twice!
Marceline: [With guitar] Yes, I caaaannnnnn!
Finn: AAAAAAAHHHH! It's vampire-fighting time!
Jake: Finn! Nooo! Vampires will kill you... remember!?
Finn: But she's taking our home again!
Jake: We're home as long as we're together, bla-bla-bleep-bla-bloop, remember!?
Finn: Oh, yeah. Okay, Marceline, I'm gonna let you keep this cave, but only because Jake is my home, and he's way better than all your homes combined!
Marceline: Ya know, you're right. I guess I'll take him too!
Jake: [yells]
Finn: What!?
Marceline: I'll bite him a little, maybe turn him into a zombie.
Jake: Nooo!
Finn: Let go of Jake!
Marceline: Make me.
[Finn slaps Jake out of Marceline's grip]
Finn: You okay, pal?
Marceline: [transforming] No one... makes me... let go... of Jake!
Finn: I'm not scared of you!
Jake: Finn!
Marceline: [laughs] You're pathetic, little boy!
Finn: [grunts] You're pathetic! [Spits] Get ready for an uppercut, you dog!
Marceline: Make me. [laughs] Bleh-bleh!
Jake: I've... gotta help my buddy.
Marceline: Your blood is mine!
Jake: [warbles]
Finn: [screaming] Jake!
Jake: Uh oh.
[Marceline sucks Jake's blood and throws Jake's remains on the ground; she laughs.]
Finn: [Screams; runs up to her and punches her in the face]
Marceline: Ow! That actually hurt, Finn. [laughs and kisses him on the cheek.]
Finn: Why didn't you just kill me?
Marceline: 'Cuz that was fun! I haven't fought like that in years! Thanks, Finn.
Jake: Finn!
Finn: Aren't you dead?
Jake: Naaah, before she bit me I used my powers to shrink all my guts and blood over my thumb, see? [Does so]
Marceline: [Clears throat] You two are pretty hardcore. I can appreciate that.
Finn: Soooo so does that mean we can have our old house back?
Marceline: Yeah! Keep it, as a gift from me. Blaeargh!
[Finn and Jake both run away screaming]
[Scene cuts back to the tree fort]
Finn and Jake: Yeah!
Finn: Huh? Did you guys get on the bed? I told you, you're not allowed!
King Worm: Oh, hey, guys. Come here, friends... Hug me... wawawawawawawa... Aw, yeah, hug me... wawawawawawawawa...

Episode ends

Also on Fandom

Random Wiki