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Lumpy Space Princess
Lumpy Space Princess
This transcript is complete.
- [The episode starts up in Cuber's spaceship. He's warming himself near a hearth.]
- Cuber: [Turning to the viewer] Hmm? [Laughing] Oh, greeble bayble grapes. You're just in time. Bayble Cuber's going to watch an inkle dribble adventure from days of old on my holo-pyramid viewer. Five stories each relating to one special theme. See if you graybles can guess the theme by the end of the episode, okay? Now sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.
- [The clip starts up on the viewer. The Tree Fort is viewed.]
- Finn: Okay, BMO, [we'll] be back in an hour. You sure you don't need anything from the Grocery Kingdom?
- BMO: No, I don't need anything. Thank you. Okay, goodbye, Finn and Jake!
- Finn: Bye, BMO!
- Jake: Yeah, see ya later, BMO!
- [They exit. BMO goes up a ladder [while grunting] to get to the upper story of the fort. It is seen pulling a stool into the bathroom. It closes the door, and grunts while climbing onto the stool. It stands in front of a mirror.]
- BMO: Finn? Jake? [Talking to reflection] Well, hello there. Oh, hello! Who are you? My name is Football. What's yours? I am BMO. [Beat] BMO, are you a robot? [Gasps] Oh, no, Football! I am a little living boy! Oh! That sounds wonderful, BMO! Will you teach me about being alive? Yes, Football! Watch me! [BMO pretends to brush its teeth and "Football" gasps. BMO smacks its face with soap and "Football" gasps again. BMO then grabs a glass of water and sits on the toilet to pour water in. "Football" gasps.] Pee-ing! Oh, BMO, that's fantastic! [Camera turns to reveal that Finn and Jake are watching BMO through the window.] Oh, thank you, Football! It's really nothing. [BMO continues talking.]
- Jake: What the...?
- Finn: See, man? I told you.
- Jake: This is nuts. Plus, he's usin' my toothbrush!
- Finn: No, man. That's my toothbrush. [Beat; the two look at each other]
- Finn & Jake: [In disgust] UGH!
- [Jake retracts back towards the ground.]
- Finn: [Reading to-do list] "Prove that BMO does weird junk when nobody is around." Check! [Checks item off list]
- Jake: High-five, buddy!
- [After their hands miss, they achieve a flimsy and unimpressive high-five.]
- Finn: That was pretty weak.
- Jake: Yeah. I was thinkin' the same thing.
- Finn: You wanna give it another go?
- Jake: Yeah.
- [They high-five again, more effectively this time.]
- Finn: That was better... but we can do better.
- Jake: You mean even better.
- Finn: Let's back on up and run at each other!
- Jake: Okay!
- [They run away a short distance from each other.]
- Finn & Jake: [Voices crescendoing] Aaaaaahhhh.... [Their hands meet thunderously.] ZAH!!
- Jake: Ooh, kinda stings!
- Finn: I like the pain.
- Jake: Let's do another one.
- [Cut to Finn in a location far away from the Tree Fort]
- Finn: Ready!?
- [Cut to Jake on the border of the Ice Kingdom.]
- Jake: Yeah!
- [They run towards each other with their voices crescendoing; they shout and scream as they prepare their high five. As soon as they're near each other, they jump up and high-five.]
- Finn: Jake!
- Jake: Yeah?
- Finn: I know how we can do the most ultimate high-five ever!!
- Jake: You've gone crazy mad with power lust! And I'm lovin' it!!
- [Cut to Finn in a mountainous area presumably miles and miles away from the Tree Fort. Finn is sitting in a catapult.]
- Finn: [Talking on walkie-talkie] You ready to do this, dude!?
- Jake: [On speaker] I've been ready this whole time, dude! Just waitin' you to say when you're—
- Finn: SUPER-ULTIMATE HIGH-FIVE GO!!!
- [In the Desert of Doom, Jake launches himself like a catapult. In a split screen, Finn and Jake are shown zooming at each other at tremendous speeds, about to perform their ultimate high-five. The scene cuts to Princess Bubblegum in her castle working on something in an irritated mood.]
- Princess Bubblegum: Ugh...
- Peppermint Butler: A glass of delicious, nourishing water for my lady— [Princess Bubblegum knocks the water away] AAH!! [Exits]
- Princess Bubblegum: [Frustrated sigh; she stares at her paper and gasps.] Oh, yes!
- [She walks a cow into a testing area and places it in a centrifuge, kissing it.]
- Cow: Oh, man... Uh... oh, boy... [The machine activates and spins faster and faster as the cow screams louder and louder. The centrifuge powers down.] Ugh... Oh, my Glob! Oh, Glob...
- Princess Bubblegum: Cheeeeese...
- [The musical montage begins. Princess Bubblegum uses two pipettes with a different chemical in each to make a head of lettuce grow and shrink in different increments. Eventually, she settles on a size.]
- Princess Bubblegum: Ding ding ding ding ding.
- [Back at her lab, Princess Bubblegum fuses a squid with a red balloon to make a tomato.]
- Princess Bubblegum: Ha ha! Jingo-jango!
- [In another room, Princess Bubblegum creates bread.]
- Princess Bubblegum: Yeast on third, flour on first, swell the dough, fit to burst! Awhoooooo!
- [The loaf of bread is created. The montage continues as she cuts the bread using lasers to create slices of bread. Next she uses a microscope and a special microscope to "unthread" the cheese at the atomic level until a thin slice of cheese is left. Next, Princess Bubblegum throws the tomato at Peppermint Butler, which he slices by karate-chopping it. Next, Princess Bubblegum smashes the head of lettuce with a baseball bat. Next, she uses a machine to put all the ingredients together. As the screen fills with light, the scene shifts to another room in her castle. Princess Bubblegum and Cinnamon Bun walk up to each other.]
- Princess Bubblegum: [Exhausted] Well... this is it, Cinnamon Bun. The most perfect sandwich that has ever existed, or ever will exist within the confines of space-time. Will you do the honors?
- Cinnamon Bun: Okay. [He takes the sandwich and places it directly into his stomach.]
- Princess Bubblegum: [Flabbergasted] But... but you... you didn't... y-y-you didn't even... taste it...
- [Cinnamon Bun regurgitates the partly digested sandwich out of his stomach and sprays it onto Princess Bubblegum's face.]
- Cinnamon Bun: Thanks, Princess. Peace out.
- [He exits. She just stands there speechless. Finn can suddenly be seen flying by in the window. Cut to the Ice King's lair; Gunter is playing on a keyboard. Ice King enters humming and sniffing.]
- Ice King: Blegh, Gunter, something stinks! [Sniffs penguin] Gunter, do you smell that? [Penguin continues playing] GUNTER, STOP PLAYING THE KEYBOARD!! [Notices something and sniffs around] Smells like it's comin' from... [Sniffs penguin] Gunter, are you blowin' it up in here? [The penguin just stares] You are nasty, Gunter! You got a nasty booty, mister! Nasty! [The penguin looks down in shame.] Oh, don't be sad, stinky. Come with daddy and I'll make it aaaall better.
- [Cut to outside. The penguin is floating away on an ice platform towards the ocean.]
- Ice King: Goodbye, Gunter. Sorry, sweetie, but I'm never gonna get any princesses if you're stinkin' up the place! [Goes back inside and sniffs] Blaaaah, it still stinks in here! What the heck! Where's that smell comin' from?! [Sniffs armpit] Oh, it's me. I smell horrible.
- [Cut to Ice King's bathroom where he's taking a shower.]
- Ice King: Scrub, penguins! Scrub harder! We are not stopping until the stench is completely gone!
- [Later, Ice King throws his scrubber penguins away.]
- Ice King: [Whistling] Clean clean, clean ka-clean. [Whistles some more; suddenly the penguin from earlier is seen and is dripping wet.] Gunter! Guess what? It was me who was smelly, not you!
- Penguin: [Angry] Wenk.
- Ice King: Sorry. I thought you had a stank booty, Gunter. My bad. Although I have no idea how my armpits got so stinky.
- [The penguin farts in Ice King's armpit. Suddenly, Jake can be seen flying by in the window. The scene shifts to the Candy Kingdom talent show. Lumpy Space Princess watches as a kid tries to shoot baskets but continually misses. She goes backstage.]
- Lumpy Space Princess: Everyone's worthless at this talent show. I'm totally gonna win when I sing, [Singing] "These lumps! I know you wanna slump up on these lumps! But you can't 'cause you're a chump! A chuuump!"
- Candy Magician: You're totally gonna win, LSP.
- Peppermint Butler: Thank you, Marc. You made two out of ten baskets.
- [The crowd applauds weakly.]
- Lumpy Space Princess: Now it's time for me to kill it!
- Peppermint Butler: Hold on, LSP, you're not up next. These girls are.
- [The candy ladies go up on stage and sing the full song of "These Lumps."]
- Lumpy Space Princess: Wha—THAT'S MY SONG!!
- [Crowd cheers excitedly.]
- Cinnamon Bun: That sounds good in my eardrums!
- [Lumpy Space Princess is pushed onstage.]
- Lumpy Space Princess: [Beat] [Frightened]...These lumps. I know you wanna slump up on these lumps...
- Cinnamon Bun: Hey!! We just heard this song!!
- [The ladies yell angrily at her. The crowd chants, "Rip-off! Rip-off!"]
- Lumpy Space Princess: No... I... I was gonna do it first! [The crowd continues to chant] NO! NO!
- Cinnamon Bun: RIP-OFF!!!
- Lumpy Space Princess: I WAS GONNA DO THE SONG FIRST!!
- [She throws a basketball at the audience in frustration.]
- Marshmallow kid: Huh?!
- [It bounces off the kid and miraculously lands in the basket.]
- Crowd: Whooooaaaa...
- Donut Guy: That's amazing!
- Lumpy Space Princess: Huh?
- [She keeps throwing basketballs at the audience, and they bounce back into the basket every time.]
- Crowd: LSP! LSP!
- Peppermint Butler: That was the most amazing thing ever! LSP wins!!
- Lumpy Space Princess: Really?! Oh, my gosh, you guys!! I just wanna thank y'all so much! It means so much to me! And I just wanted to say I... I...
- [Lumpy Space Princess gets distracted by two screams. Suddenly, Finn and Jake fly at each other and finally connect their hands to conclude their high-five. The crowd gasps then cheers louder than ever.]
- Peppermint Butler: Finn and Jake win the talent show!
- Lumpy Space Princess: WHAT?!?!
- Finn: [Out of breath] Awesome...
- Jake: [Panting] That... was... awesome...
- [The clip ends on the pyramid viewer.]
- Cuber: [To audience] Oh, bayble, that was easy, wasn't it? Slimmin'? I'm glad we all guessed the theme so easily. What? You haven't guessed it? Oh. I'm sorry. Well, pause your viewer now to think about it before I belayble it to you. [The scene pauses momentarily.] The theme was the five senses! You see? Look. BMO saw his reflection. Finn and Jake touched their hands together! The Princess made a tasty sandwich! The blue guy smelled bad! And the other thing heard music. Oh, what a treat! Okay, well I'll see you trimpy flimmers on triode flimpin' the diode!
- [The episode ends.]