This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Frost & Fire" from season 5, which aired on August 5, 2013.

This transcript is complete.


[Finn is dropping rice into Flame Princess's hair in the Grass Lands near the Tree Fort. The rice burns as it falls and touches her hair.]
Finn: Huh. Is this, like, eating for you?
Flame Princess: I don't know about eating, but it feels nice.
Finn: Hmm. [gets up, grabs a log, and hands it to Flame Princess]
[Flame Princess hugs the log and slowly starts to burn it.]
Ice King: Hey! [hovering in air] You two should get a room! You and that log! Not you and Finn. 'Cause you're huggin' a log, you weirdo! [laughs]
[Finn stretches his arms and grunts to try and hit him, but cannot come close to reaching him.]
Flame Princess: Finn.
Finn: Huh?
Flame Princess: Let me. [burns log to a crisp and flies up toward Ice King as Finn gasps]
Ice King: [laughs, then gulps] Hey now, stay away from me! Shoo shoo! [shoots icicles from hands]
[Flame Princess melts the icicles as they fly towards her.]
Ice King: Oh, so you wanna get real, do ya? Well, check this! You seeing this? [starts to form a giant snowball, but is interrupted by Flame Princess punching him in the stomach]
Finn: [watching snowball fall down and crash onto trees] Whoa.
Flame Princess: [grabs Ice King's beard and starts slapping him] Why don't you get a room?! [Flame Princess flies in a heart shape. She kicks Ice King at the bottom, and at the center where the bumps meet, catches him. She lifts his tunic and burns his buttocks.]
Ice King: Ow! My hams!
Flame Princess: Beat it, you freaky old trump! [kicks Ice King into the Ice Kingdom]
[Flame Princess flies back to Finn. The heart of fire explodes as she shrugs. Finn blushes.]
[Scene changes to inside the Tree Fort at night. Finn is sleeping and grunting. Steam suddenly blows around him.]
Finn: [gets up] Huh? What's cookin'? Smells good.
[Background changes to orange, yellow, and white waves. We see fire being shot at Finn's groin as Finn yells excitedly. We see Flame Princess shooting the fire at him. She grunts when Finn looks up at her. Finn starts to laugh.]
Finn: [while laughing] My body is engulfed in flames! [laughs] Oh, so good!
[A voice starts quietly chanting "you blew it". Finn wakes up and looks around. Jake is singing while cooking eggs.]
Jake: [Singing Egg Song to himself.]
Finn: Jake! Jake! I had an awesome dream! Flame Princess was there; My body was on fire. I think it was inspired by Flame Princess battling Ice King yesterday!
Jake: That's weird. I had a dream too. I'll tell you about it!
[Scene switches to breakfast. Jake and Finn are sitting at a table.]
Jake: So then paintings were found and everybody's eyes lit up. Cinnamon Bun smiled and said: "I saw it from miles away"...
[Finn starts talking to himself and not paying Jake any attention.]
Finn: [in his thoughts] Man, I need to have that dream again. I have to get Flame Princess to beat down Ice King again.
[Scene switches to Flame Princess and Finn having a picnic in the Ice Kingdom.]
Flame Princess: Why'd you pick this spot?
Finn: Why does anyone do anything?
Flame Princess: Hmm...why do they?
Finn: [starts shaking a bag of marshmallows] Mmm?
Flame Princess: No thanks.
Finn: [puts a marshmallow in his mouth] Suit yourself!
Ice King: [whistling while flying and holding grocery bags]
Finn: [muffled] Hey, look! [swallows then repeats] Hey, look! There's that big jerk you hate so much, remember?
Ice King: [looks over at the two] Oh, hey, kids! Fine day for a picnic.
Finn: [in mock shock] Oh, dang. Did you hear that?! I think he's, like, making fun of you.
Flame Princess: What?!
Finn: Yeah, it's in the tone of his voice.
Flame Princess : [stops the Ice King in midair] What did you say to me?
Ice King: Uh, what? What did I say?
Flame Princess: [gasps] It is in the tone of your voice.
Ice King: Look, just take whatever you want. Okay? Take it all! [throws contents of bag at Flame Princess] It's all just prunes! Prunes and liver! Frozen, of course.
[The bits of food hit Flame Princess and steam up. She grunts and punches Ice King. He falls into the snow. Finn blushes.]
Ice King: [rising up from the ground] Ah. You might have what it takes to slap these old jowls, but do you have what it takes to face my- just a second... [zaps the ground as Snow Monsters rise from the ground] Legion of Snow Warriors?! Go, fight! Protect me! [Two warriors break apart while the other two shamble off in the distance.] Oh, boy.
Flame Princess: I don't like being made fun of, Ice King. I don't like it at all! [throws fire at Ice King]
Ice King: Woah! [gets up and protects self with ice shields]
[Flame Princess walks over to Ice King, throwing fire at him. He blocks her attacks with ice. One of the frozen fire balls hits him on the head, knocking him over. Finn looks at them at bites his index finger in anticipation.]
Ice King: Oh, man. Times! I call time! [builds a barrier around him that looks like his head and starts to weep in it]
Flame Princess: It's only okay if the person making the fun is someone I'm cool with! [punches Ice King's barrier]
Ice King: We're totes cool! I-I'm Ice King!
Flame Princess: [while punching Ice King's barrier] And they do it in a respectful and knowing way!
Ice King: Respect? I got all kinds of respect!
Flame Princess: Oh, yeah? Then what's with that stupid smirking face?
Ice King: [sees Snow Monster coming up behind Flame Princess and smirks] Smirk? I smirk when I'm nervous.
Snow Monster: Bear hug! [hugs Flame Princess]
[Flame Princess yells out in pain. Finn gasps.]
Ice King: And also when I'm about to win! [laughs] Booyah! [turns around and lifts back of tunic] And I didn't even get to test out my new fire-proof grundies!
Finn: Put it away, man! You didn't win nothing!
[Ice King flies away and laughs.]
Finn: [to Flame Princess] Are you okay? You feel... lukewarm.
Flame Princess: I-I just need to burn a couple of forests or something. And get a good night's sleep.
Finn: Yeah. Sleep.
[Scene switches to inside the Tree Fort at night. Finn is putting on his pajamas and walks over to a table with six glasses of milk.]
Finn: [picks up a glass of milk] Milk. [drinks the entire glass and picks up another glass of milk] Milk. [drinks the entire glass quickly] Play the sleep jam, BMO.
BMO: [nods and plays White Noise[1]]
[Finn jumps into bed and instantly falls asleep. Blue waves surround him.]
Finn: Mmm. What's cookin'? Smells good. Wha?! [turns to see Ice King shooting ice at his groin] What?! Oh, no!
[The Cosmic Owl laughs in the distance. Finn looks at him and yells in fright, waking up.]
Finn: [runs to Jake downstairs, who is drinking some tea] Jake! I had another dream. My body was being blasted. But this time, Ice King was blasting me with ice cubes! Aww. It was awful! And someone else was there. He was just laughing and laughing. He was in the first dream too, but he was whispering. I couldn't make out what he was saying. Oh, yeah! [snaps fingers] It was the Cosmic Owl!
Jake: [spits out tea] What?! You didn't tell me the Cosmic Owl was there!
Finn: I couldn't see him last time!
Jake: Dude, that means it was a prophetic dream! You have to finish the original dream! Cosmic Owl could be whispering something wildly significant! You have to get Flame Princess and Ice King to fight again so you can see the end of the dream! Make 'em fight!
Finn: [runs over to a wooden desk and starts writing a letter] Dear Ice King, you smell like stink, you're unpleasant, you're not funny, you're old, blah blah blah, sincerely, the Flame Princess. P.S., let us fight. [yells and grabs another piece of paper and writes another letter] Dear Flame Princess, you're just the worst, your hair is bad, your feet smell like face cheeks, blah blah blah, let's meet up and fight, dummy, sincerely, Ice King. [looks at two letters and grunts in approval] Flame Princess fight Ice King.
[Scene switches to Ice Kingdom where Ice King is sitting.]
Finn: Ice King!
Ice King: What?
[Finn throws a letter into Ice King's beard.]
Ice King: Ooh, beard mail! [reading off letter] Dear Ice King, you're not funny, you're old, and no princess will ever marry you ever, simple Simon. [in his own thoughts] Oh, fight.
[Scene switches to Grass Lands, where Flame Princess is standing.]
Finn: Flame Princess! [drops letter on ground]
Flame Princess: Huh? [reading off letter] Dear Flame Princess, your feet smell like face cheeks, your stupid candles smell heinous, and you can't even kiss Finn without totes freakin' out! [yells in anger]
[Scene switches to Ice Kingdom. Finn is hiding behind a snow barrier. He looks out and sees Flame Princess flying towards Ice King. They meet and start to fly up. Flame Princess grabs Ice King by the beard.]
Ice King: Not my beard! [Flame Princess punches Ice King in his face. Gunter pops out of Ice King's beard and shoots water at Flame Princess. Ice King laughs. Both Ice King and Flame Princess fly above dark clouds that have formed and perform aerial attacks. Scene switches to the Candy castle, and Princess Bubblegum looks out of her window.]
Princess Bubblegum: What is all that noise? [looks at the fight] Ach, mein Glöb!
[Scene switches back to fight.]
Flame Princess: Inferno...shot! [Flame Princess shoots fire at Ice King.]
Ice King: Ice...the King! [Ice King shoots ice at Flame Princess.]
[The two blasts meet and form an explosion that throws both of them back. Flame Princess turns into a giant form and walks over to where Ice King is, burning all of the ice in her path. Ice King flies into his home and forms a giant snow man that he can control. The two meet in the center of the Ice Kingdom. Flame Princess punches Ice King's snow man, but the snow blocks her punches.]
Flame Princess: Stop that!
Ice King: [laughing] How's about some of this? [gets Flame Princess into a headlock and starts rubbing her hair]
[Flame Princess grows bigger, burning the snow arms, and topples over Ice King's warrior.]
Ice King: [falling over] Oh beans, oh beans, oh beans!
[Gunters are seen running away from the havoc, while the Snow Golem carries a couple in his arms.]
Finn: I maybe went too far with this jazz. [looks down and sees he is stepping in a pile of water and hears Flame Princess growling] Flame Princess! Oh, too hot. [falls over and is knocked unconscious]
[Finn is on his bed and sees Flame Princess walk over to him. She burns his groin.]
Finn: Oh! [chuckles and then starts to steam through his clothes] Huh? [looks over at Flame Princess who is staring at him] Uh...
[Finn explodes in fire. He is turned into a fat baby with chest and facial hair and long legs. Flame Princess gasps and starts to walk away. Finn starts to throw a tantrum. The Cosmic Owl is suddenly sitting on his bed.]
Cosmic Owl: You blew it.
Finn: [wakes up] Huh? [gets up and sees the destruction he's caused]
[Flame Princess is still burning ice towers. Finn takes a deep breath.]
Finn: Okay, I can fix this. I can make it right.
[Scene switches to inside of Ice King's ice giant. Fires are burning everywhere.]
Finn: Ice King!
Ice King: [under a sheet of ice] Finn!
Finn: I'm so sorry, man.
Ice King: [weakly] Help Gunter. Please! [Finn walks over to Gunter.] I meant after you saved me.
[Finn lifts a small sheet of ice off of Gunter. Finn performs mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Gunter quacks.]
Finn: Oh. [Gunter quacks again. Finn puts him under his shirt.] C'mon. Let's get out of here. [lifts ice sheet off of Ice King and then grabs Ice King]
Ice King: Oh! That's right, carry me like a princess.
[Flame Princess turns to see Ice King walking away, without seeing Finn carrying him.]
Flame Princess: Ice King! You can't escape me! [shoots a fire ball at Ice King]
Finn: [turns around] Huh?
Flame Princess: [gasps] Finn!
Ice King: [shoots fire ball with ice] Ice. [fire ball falls into the water, frozen] Whatever.
Flame Princess: [at normal size again] I'm so, so sorry, Finn! Are you alright?
Finn: No, princess. I'm the one who's sorry. [drops Ice King] Ice King hasn't been picking fights with you, it''s been me all along.
Ice King: [annoyed] What?
Flame Princess: So, you wrote that letter?
Finn: Yes, but look, it's just like, I had this dream and it was because of that fight you had. It was weird, but I also liked it. But it was important because the Cosmic Owl was [Flame Princess decides Finn's words have no meaning, and all she hears is wah for every syllable for a couple of seconds.] So I had to get you to beat up Ice King-
Flame Princess: Shh. I should have known. That letter said things in it that only you would know. Personal things, Finn. And you used them against me. I thought you were the one person I could- I need some time alone.
Finn: Princess!
[Flame Princess walks away.]
Finn: But, I said I was sorry.
[Gunter rips out of Finn's shirt and falls into the water.]
Ice King: You blew it, man.

Episode ends.