This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "James Baxter the Horse" from season 5, which aired on May 6, 2013.

This transcript is complete.


[Episode opens with BMO walking out of the Tree Fort door and singing a song, an egg is in a cup taped to its chest. As it dances in the large grass area it lifts up the eggs during the climax of the song. Suddenly, a butterfly swoops in and knocks the egg out of its hands. The egg smashes on the ground and BMO gasps and starts crying.]
[Upon hearing this Finn and Jake run up to see what has happened.]
Finn: [Sword drawn] Whoa whoa whoa.
Jake: BMO, what's wrong? [Placing his hands on BMO's frame.]
BMO: [Continues crying.]
Jake: I think he broke his egg.
Finn: Hey, it's okay BMO. Look, Jake and I will make you a funny face. [As Finn holds Jake, Finn stretches his mouth and he and Jake make noises.]
BMO: [Stares at the two but begins to cry again. Finn and Jake sit down looking defeated.]
Jake: Hey, BMO, this will cheer ya up! [He does a handstand and stretches his buttcheeks to enclose Finn's face.]
Finn: [Muffled] What the?! [Muffled screaming]
BMO: [Continues crying.]
[After a few seconds of this, Jake releases Finn and Finn breathes grasps for air.]
Jake: Well, I'm outta ideas. [Finn glares] What?
[Whinnying is heard and a horse balancing on a beach ball arrives. They all stand up to watch him.]
James Baxter: [Whinnies] James Baxter! James... Baxter!
BMO: [Begins to laugh]
Jake: Oh, man, James Baxter is so good, man. He always knows just what to say to cheer a guy up!
Finn: Yeah, man.
[Scene shifts to BMO and James Baxter, BMO is clapping and running after the horse as it continues to balance on the ball and say its name.]
Jake: So good!
Finn: Man, we should do it to! Do his thing and spread the good will!
Jake: Yeah, man, I wanna be like James Baxter, always rollin' in on a beach ball, saying his name in a horse voice, making people smile. [sighs] Let's do it!
Finn: [Laughs] Yeah!
[The scene is a funeral, four persons stand solemnly. Upon hearing noises they look up and turn towards Finn and Jake, who are in the bushes saying their names in a horse-like voices.]
Finn: [Neighs] Finn the Human!
Jake: [Neighs] Jake!
Finn: [Neighs] Finn!
Jake: [Neighs] Jake!
[The attendees are shocked and can only look at the two with mouths agape.]
Jake: [Whispering] Sheesh, tough crowd.
Finn: [Whispering] I think we should find an easier person to cheer up. It was a mistake to visit a funeral.
Jake: [Nods]
[Finn and Jake jump out of the bushes and run down a hill, away from the proceedings. As the attendees watch they quickly turn back around to see the coffin shake around.]
[The next scene is the neighborhood area of the Candy Kingdom. A green Lollipop Girl is humming a tune and holding an ice cream cone, but the ice cream drops from the cone and she begins to cry.] [Finn and Jake arrive once again saying their names in horse-like voice, only this time jumping up and down. The girl sees them and stops crying but is shocked at their behavior and becomes scared to a point that she loudly screams and runs away from them.]
Finn & Jake: [Continue making loud noises and running after the girl.]
Green Lollipop Girl: [Heads toward an alleyway in tears. She realizes she's trapped.]
Finn & Jake: [Stand in the alley's entrance and continue to make noises.]
Green Lollipop Girl: Eh, what do you want?! Please, I'm just a very sad girl!
Finn & Jake: [Don't answer and instead continue to make loud noises. This causes the girl to scream again, so loudly that both cover their ears and back out of the alley.]
[Proceeding scene, Finn and Jake are sitting on a hill, Finn sighs. They are looking down the hill to see James Baxter surrounded by Candy Kid as they cheer and laugh at his performance.]
Finn: That is so perfect!
Jake: Yeah, man, so unique!
James Baxter: James Baxter! James Baxter!
Finn: Man, what's he doing that we're not? We just gotta figure that out.
Jake: No, it's like, he's shredding on a guitar and learning how to shred isn't just copying the exact notes as someone else's solo. You need to learn how to do your own solo. [Imitates guitar riff.]
[Back at the Tree Fort, noises are heard. Inside Jake and Finn are making noises, contorting themselves and dancing around. BMO watches them.]
BMO: Why am I recording?
Finn: You're documenting our creative flow in case we make a breakthrough.
Jake: Dude, I think we do got something.
Finn: Let's check the video.
[The three are in the bathroom climbing into the tub with BMO.]
BMO: [Laughs] Bathtub, bathtub!
[With clipboards in hand, Finn and Jake sit down to face BMO.]
Jake: Alright, BMO, play the video.
BMO: [Plays back the recording, then stops it.] Who's gonna scrub me?
Jake: I'll scrub, [to Finn] you take notes.
BMO: [Starts playing the recording again.]
Finn: Yeah, right there, speed it up.
Jake: [Adjust BMO's settings to speed up the video.]
Finn: Slow it down.
Jake: [Adjust BMO's settings to slow down the video.]
Finn: [Takes notes and laughs.]
Jake: [Laughs too.]
BMO: Yeah, that sounds makes me feel happy!
Finn: Good, good, happy is what we want.
Jake: BMO, zoom in on my mouth [laughs causing BMO to laugh too.]
Finn: Yeah, it's good, [stands up] but if we want to be "James Baxter" good, we gotta to go deeper.
[The scene shifts to a wooded area. Then shows BMO, Jake, and Finn with clipboard, walking in a clearing, they continue till they are seen walking up a tall hill with white trees, by then the sun is setting. They continue till they are inside the entrance way.]
Jake: The Institute of So Und.
Finn: [Yelling] Hey, hey man!
Receptor: [Turns towards Finn] I receive you. Welcome to the Sound Institute of So Und.
Finn: Where is the studio to make the best feel-good sound?
Receptor: Just think happy thoughts and follow the beat of your heart.
[Finn closes his eyes, puts his hand to his chest and walks in. He is followed by Jake and BMO, a thumping noise is heard. Finn suddenly stops and they bump into one another.]
Finn: Hold up.... This way... [they continue, walking along the paths. Finn gasp as they arrive at the room they are looking for.]
[The room is full of amplifiers and other electronic equipment.]
Jake: [Gasp] Look at this tricked out studio! Half stacks! Full stacks! Oooh, distortion pedals!
BMO: [Plays recording with close up of Jake's part, Finn plugs it to the amplifiers. The sound resonates throughout the room.]
Jake: These sounds make feel-good, right here. [puts hand over his heart area]
Finn: Right here. [Finn does the same gesture.] Good!
BMO: I feel it here, [Circles hands all over front.] good here!
Finn: We know to figure out how to make our sound... [hands clipboard to Jake] force happiness into the listener!
Jake: [Hands clipboard back to Finn.]
[Next scene shows Jake sitting a device that is force his mouth to stretch open, Finn is at the controls with a screen in front toggling.] [It changes to show all three strapped into a tall structured device that moves them up and down quickly.] [The next device has Jake tumbling around on a small stage that appears to be speakers. The last is a platform with revolving speakers and monitor. Finn and Jake make noise and faces.]
[The scene afterward is all three sitting down, Jake in a pile of equipment, BMO pushing buttons on one of them, and Finn spinning on a straw inside a drink cup. He stops and looks to them.]
Finn: Check our data?
[They all stand and look to a large blackboard with circuit schematics, both Finn and Jake are holding a clipboards, with Finn also holding a pencil.]
Finn: Maybe it should be higher?
Jake: Yeah, maybe, maybe it could be lower, I don't know.
Finn: [Points with a pencil] Let's both agree that that sound belongs there. [Steps back as Jake walks up.]
Jake: See that sound? I drew that sound connected to two other sounds. [Steps back and stands next to Finn.]
Finn: Hmm, something's missing. [He stares at the board, on which are pictures of James Baxter on his ball. The camera zooms in on the ball.]
Finn & Jake: [Turn to one another and gasp loudly.]
Jake: That's it, the missing thing in our thing!
Finn: Yeah, James Baxter don't just got his catch phrase, he has his beach ball bizz!
Jake: So we gotta create feel good body actions to go with our feel good sound!
Finn: We just crushed it, homie.
Jake: [Puts down clipboard] Dude, seriously, I think our thing is gonna change the world. When people experience it, it's going to make them so happy!
Finn: [Also puts down clipboard] You're building it up too much. [yawns] Let's just do it.
Jake: [Yawns] Yeah, man, yeah.
[All three promptly fall asleep.]
[The next morning at the Candy Kingdom. Finn and Jake are walking around the neighborhood, they spot the Green Lollipop Girl who has returned to the spot where her ice cream fell only this time she dropped her drink cup. Her eyes widen as she is upset and nearing tears.]
Jake: [Points] Hey, there's the sad girl. [Finn and Jake walk up and she turns to face them.]
Green Lollipop Girl: Wha—[screams].
Jake: No no no, wait a sec! Reserve judgement until you've see the freshed-up version of our thing.
Finn & Jake: [Face each other and nod. They start their act: they criss-cross each other at the shoulder, Finn picks up Jake and guides him past both cheeks, Jake morphs into a trumpet and starts making imitating the sound of one. Jake then morphs into a ball and Finn stands on him. This causes the girl to laugh.]
Finn & Jake: We did it! [They give each other a two-armed high five.]
[The scene changes to a group of four Grass People, who mope around on their backs staring at the sky. Finn and Jake walk up to them.]
Jake: What's wrong?
Grass Person: We're bummed.
[Jake morphs into a trumpet and Finn picks him up as they do their performance. This causes the Grass People to laugh.] [Next scene, a male ghost is floating down a train's track with a bundle stick, he sighs heavily by going, "Boo, boo." Suddenly Finn and Jake arrive. They preform their act and the ghost laughs, as they leave he gives a happy "boo."] [And the next scene, a forest setting with more Grass People, there is a meeting going on and everyone looks unhappy.]
Speaker: [Reading his paper nervously] The common rhinoceros beetle, scientific name, Xylotrupes ulysses. Common dung beetle—[Stops reading once Finn and Jake hop up on stage.] Oh my!
[Finn and Jake do their performance and the speaker begins to laugh, followed by everyone else cheering and laughing.]
[The scene shifts to a familiar funeral, only this time it is in a wide hilly area. One of the attendees throws some dirt into the grave.] [At that moment, Finn and Jake run up them.]
Finn: [Out of breath] Oh good, you're still here! Hey, I know we were here yesterday [coughs] and we came off as inappropriate... [Jake cuts him off.]
Jake: Let's just do the thing.
Finn: Right, okay! [They start with the trumpet act and this causes the attendees to laugh. Suddenly the coffin shakes as Finn and Jake preform their balancing act. They stop and stare at the grave. The coffin opens and there appears a skeleton, Jake winces and the skeleton rattles and shakes then leaps out of the grave and collapses in front of (what appears to be) its portrait. The attendees see this and quickly run away screaming as the skeletal remains roll on the ground.]
Finn & Jake: [Wince as they watch it. Jake runs away with Finn calling after him.]
Finn: Dude!! [Finn looks down to see the skeleton maneuvered itself between his legs.] [Finn punches its skull.]
[It dashes away on its back, holding itself up by all four limbs. When it reaches a hill it does an arch pose] [Closeup of Finn biting his lip.] [And then the skeleton's ghost appears.]
Finn: Jake, come on man, I need some help!
Jake: [Pops out of the only flower present] Sorry, I act like a little kitty cat!
[Finn leaps up and Jake holds him as he stretches to the height of the angry spirit. When they reach its head they are spitted on and fall back to the ground covered in liquid.]
Finn: Whoa, [licks arm] it's milk!
Ghost: [It attacks by taking out a large chunk of land by dragging its hand, Finn and Jake dodge. With Finn having to dodge again into Jake's arms.] [The ghost attempts another attack by body crushing them, it misses as they run away.] WHY?!! [It yells.]
Jake: [Carrying Finn he runs and dodges another dragging arm attack.] Dang, this is real! [He stops as he sees another attack, but both are pounded into the ground with one punch.]
[In the hole, Jake unfolds to reveal he protected Finn with his body.]
Jake: [In pain] Eeeee, he broke my squishy bones!
Finn: [Sees the ghost getting ready to punch them again and puts his arms up.] Don't worry, Jake, I'll block this one!
Jake: [Still in pain] Finn, when we wake up in the 9th Dead World, promise me you'll listen for this sound [rhythmic clap.]
Finn: What?
Jake: It's just that there are a lot of dead people there, we might get separated. I'll be the one going [rhythmic clap.]
Ghost: [It goes to attack them with another punch but stops right above them as the whinnying of a horse is heard. It looks behind it to see a horse standing on a hill, James Baxter.]
James Baxter: [Runs down the hill and arrives to the scene balancing on his ball and saying his name.] James Baxter!... James Baxter! [This causes the ghost to go from angry to happy, it laughs at the sight.]
Ghost: Holy cow! [Its fist softens and it instead grabs Finn and Jake and pulls them out of the hole and places them on the ground.] Hey, man, this guy really knows how to cheer a guy up! [James Baxter continues his act.] He's awesome, do you know this guy! [To Finn and Jake.]
Finn: Well, sort of.
Jake: Yeah, we know him!!
Ghost: [Chuckles] What's his deal?
Jake: His name's James Baxter, he just travels around on his beach ball making people happy.
James Baxter: [Rolls by again] James Baxter!
Ghost: Cool.
[The sun sets, James Baxter deflates his beach ball, folds it into triangle hat, and trots off.]

Episode ends