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Jermaine/Transcript

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This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Jermaine (episode)" from season 6, which aired on April 23, 2015.

This transcript is complete.


Transcript[]

[Jake slides down a rainbow in the beginning of a dream sequence. The rainbow is one of many, all of which seem to be Lady Rainicorn.]
Jake: Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Lady Rainicorn: 안녕. ("Hello.")
[Two Lady Rainicorns appear and kiss Jake's cheeks several times.]
Jake: [Laughing]
[Jake is launched into the air and falls inside a gray box in the sky. Jermaine is inside in a bear costume, facing away.]
Jake: Hey bear dude, sorry to drop in like that.
[Jermaine picks up a rolled up poster and turns.]
Jemraine: Oh, hey... brother.
Jake: Whoa. Jermaine?! We must be dreaming at the same time again.
Jermaine: Yeah.
Jake: I was just hanging out with a couple of ladies outside... or a couple of the same lady. Then bam! Sky-boxed!
Jermaine: Ugh. Jake, I'm here to work. I got to keep everything where it should be. So, uh... so how are you and Finn doing?
[Without looking, Jermaine starts to push the poster through the wall of the box. It falls through the wall, and he falls half outside with it.]
Jermaine: Whoop! Ah!
[A sea of rainicorns giggle far below as the poster falls.]
Jermaine: Uh... [muttering] Epsilon, eucradies, dernesto... [Sneezes]
[He pulls himself back inside the box.]
Jake: Jermaine? You okay, man?
Jermaine: No, no, I'm--I'm fine. Everything's fine.
Jake: Oh.
Jermaine: [Muttering] epsilon, eucradies, dernesto...
Jake: Hey, listen, um, maybe we should get together in the awake world? You know, meet in meat-space?
Jermaine: Uh, yeah. Sounds great. See you later.
[Jermaine pulls a hole in the floor until it's under Jake, who falls. He lands on a larger version of his head like a drop of water. The bigger Jake wakes up and breathes deeply.]
[Cut to the main room of the tree fort. Jake pulls a mug out of the cooler and takes it to the table. Finn is fiddling with a large device nearby.]
Jake: In the dream, Jermaine was wearing a bear suit. I wonder what that symbolizes. Maybe it means Jermaine needs us to visit.
[Jake pulls a strip off of the mouth of the face on the mug, which opens its huge eyes. The eyes and an indicator on the side turns bright red, then the eyes close and Jake pops the aluminum can style top. BMO takes the strip from the can and ties it around their forehead.]
BMO: Workout time!
Jake: You want the can or the cup? [Pours half the contents of the can into a mug.]
Finn: I like the can. [He accepts it when Jake stretches his arm out to hand the can to him.]
Jake: [Sips] Hmm. I'd hate it if my kids didn't ever see each other... [He frowns at a 'picture' of the puppies and one of Lady Rainicorn, made from his hand.] Or if Viola shoved Jake Jr. down a dream hole.
Finn: I don't know. Jermaine's always been kind of a dream hole.
[We see BMO doing jump rope using a cord from the large device.]
BMO: Whoa.
[Cut back to Jake.]
Jake: We're all getting older. We should go see him now, or we might regret it.
Finn: Eh. It's not a great time just this minute. [He twists something on the device, and a green hologram appears.] Trying to figure this deal out.
[He pokes one of the shapes from the hologram. Air hisses, the room fills with smoke and part of the device launches through the roof of the tree fort and upwards until it disappears. BMO is still holding on to the rope, and the force of the launch sends them flying.]
BMO: Woah!
Finn: [Sips] Okay. Let's go see Jermaine.
[The scene changes to show Finn riding Jake away from the tree fort in daylight and arriving in the evening at a forest. Jake shrinks down to normal size and they continue through the woods. Demonic shadows watch them through the trees.]
Finn: There's a lot more demons here than I remember.
Jake: Huh. Yeah. The only constant is change, bro.
Shadow Demon 1: I want my yo-yo!
[It grabs at Jake, who smacks its hands away. Finn and Jake begin to run.]
Finn: Yo, yo! That's rude, dude!
Shadow Demon 2: Give me my cup!
Finn: Huh?
[Finn turns to find that the horde of demons has followed them out of the woods.]
Shadow Demon 2: Bring me my cup, or I'll skull-cup you!
[It roars, and a smaller head emerges from its mouth like a tongue. Finn and Jake scream. They run full-tilt up the hill to the house. The tongue-head chases them and tries to bite Jake. It hisses, and Jake jumps out of the way.]
Jake: Yipe!
[Finn stops running to look back.]
Finn: Jake!
[An arrow flies past Finn and hits the ground between Jake and the demon.]
Finn: Woah!
[Finn turns towards the house again. Jermaine is wearing the bear costume from Jake's dream and holding a crossbow on the front step of the house.]
Jermaine: Oh, you guys really came. Quick, get behind the salt barrier!
[Finn and Jake race past a line of salt drawn in a circle around the house. The horde of demons crashes into an invisible barrier marked by the line.]
Jermaine: They can't cross the circle. It's made from Dad's old shaman-blessed, sage-infused salt.
Shadow Demon 2: Return my cup! Return my cup--[Finn, off-screen, pokes the demon's face with his sword.] Stop poking me!
Jake: [Laughs]
Jermaine: Knock it off, guys. Just get in the house.
[Cut to the inside of the house. Jermaine enters, sets the crossbow down and takes off the bear costume.]
Jermaine: You guys can chill here 'till morning, when the demons thin out a little.
Finn: [Handsprings past Jermaine into the house.] Whoo!
Jermaine: Oh, Finn--Oh no! Instant regret!
[He chases after Finn. Jake watches sympathetically from the doorway. Finn continues to do handsprings through the hall. He bounces off a wall, knocking down two framed pictures, and runs down the hall to the kitchen.]
Finn: Whoo! My house, my house!
Jermaine: [Still chasing Finn,] Instant regret!
[[Cut to Jermaine in the doorway of the kitchen. He gasps. We see Finn swinging from the hanging light over the dining table.]
Finn: Whoo! Remember, Jermaine? We did this when we wanted to make room for dessert!
Jermaine: I don't care about that memory!
Finn: What?
[The light cord snaps and flings Finn into the wall.]
Finn: Whoa--Ohh! Dang, my back.
Jermaine: Come on! This ain't the treehouse, man! I got systems!
[He enters the kitchen through a different door carrying a gigantic sword.]
Jake: Hey Jermaine, this thing is rad--Whoa!
[The sword tips over and Jake falls, cutting the table in half.]
Jermaine: Okay, no more sleepover!
Finn: Oh no! Don't--don't kick us out!
Jermaine: Go do your Gaucho Marx slapstick with them goofballs in the woods. I got a responsibility to all this booty in here--Staves, medallions, cups, goblets, [the cups and goblets rattle,] dormant jinn, grimoires, hard-drives... All this random valuable booty, okay?
[Watch beeping]
Jermaine: Oh, shoot.
[Cut to Jermaine's watch, which shows a humanoid figure with the blinking words "FLIP ME!"]
Jermaine: I gotta run this beast.
[Cut to the living room. In the middle of the floor is a large circular symbol like a compass rose. Jermaine runs in from the kitchen and stops in front of the symbol.]
Jermaine: Open, ya sissy!
[The circle opens down into a staircase. Jake and Finn follow behind Jermaine as he descends in a rush. The Booboo Sousa tape ending plays from below.]
[The scene cuts to the basement, where Booboo Sousa sits facing a large blue demon. Several large cables lead from the bear to the bare stone walls. It forms the edge of the forcefield keeping the demon contained. Jermaine crosses the room to the bear.]
Jermaine: Yeah, flip the tape, I know.
[The song cuts off as Jermaine flips the tape in the bear's back.]
Jermaine: "Good times." Right.
Booboo Sousa: Hey! I'm Booboo Sousa! You want to be friends?
Jermaine: We've been friends, Booboo.
[The Booboo Sousa Song plays.]
Bryce: You're slippin', Jerm.
Jermaine: No I'm not.
Bryce: You're gonna miss that alarm one day, and I'm gonna eat you from the bottom up, [slams his face against the forcefield,] so you can watch me while I eat you. Then, in my triumph, I will retrieve the poster your dad stole from me.
Jermaine: Bryce, I put the poster right there. [He indicates the poster, which is stuck to the wall at the edge of the forcefield.] You're still mad about that?
Bryce: How dare you use tacks on my poster! You're gonna get it, man!
Jermaine: You know, Bryce, I would've let you and your poster go years ago if you'd stop it with all that "from the bottom up" talk.
Bryce: You would?
Jermaine: Yeah, man! I don't want to flip that tape all day! That's you and Joshua beef 'cause you wouldn't stop breaking in for that poster.
Bryce: Well, come on man, let's be bros!
Jermaine: No way, you psycho. I ain't never gonna trust you after all that stuff you said. [He turns and walks away.]
Bryce: I'm gonna taste that dog carne asada, you hear?!
[Cut to the basement entrance, where Finn and Jake are standing with expressions of shock.
Jermaine: You're never gonna taste my carne asada, Bryce.
Finn: [Puts his hands on Jermaine's shoulders.] Dude, you can't live like this!
Jake: [Also puts his hands on Jermaine's shoulders.] Yeah, you got a plan B for Bryce, or what?
Jermaine: I don't need a plan B. I'm responsible. You guys want fried rice or something? I can make fried rice.
Jake: No, Jermaine, we'll make you fried rice.
Jermaine: Okay, just don't break any more junk. That's our parents' valuable artifacts, you knuckleheads.
Bryce: I'm gonna white-knuckle you, Jermaine! You'll see!
Finn, Jake and Jermaine: [They glance at each other, then laugh.]
Jermaine: [Sighs]
[Upstairs again, Finn watches while Jake prepares fried rice on the stove-top. Jermaine is seated at the kitchen table, which has been repaired with duct tape.]
Jake: Whoo-hoo! I've never even made fried rice before! [To Finn:] Get the plates.
Finn: [Slides three plates into a row on the table.] Whoosh!
Jake: [While pouring fried rice onto each of the plates,] Du-u-ump! [He then places what appears to be a carved-radish flower on each plate with each syllable,] Pre-sen-tation. [He hands Jermaine a knife and fork.]
Jermaine: Good plating. Sorry I only have one chair.
[Jake and Finn stand at either side of Jermaine around the table with their own plates and silverware.]
Jake: To brothers! [He raises his silverware in toast.]
All: To brothers! [Finn and Jermaine follow suit.]
Finn: It doesn't have to be weird, you guys!
[Howling in the distance]
Jermaine: [Turns his head, then squints.] What's that sound? It sounds like howling.
Jake: Let's eat!
[All three lower their arms and start to eat enthusiastically.]
Jermaine: Dang, dude, this fried rice destroys. How'd you get all this flavor?
Jake: Sesame oil and salt. Salt is one of the five taste sensations.
Finn: [Counting them off on his fingers,] Sweet, sour, bitter, umami and salty.
Jermaine: I guess I'm just used to bitter. [A beat.] That's weird. I haven't had salt in like five years. Hold on...
[Jermaine sets his fork down to make a square with his hands, thumbs to opposite index finger. He reverses the gesture several times.]
Jermaine: Epsilon, eucradies, dernesto, quillduct... [He stops and puts a hand on Jake's shoulder.] Uh, where'd you get the salt from, Jake?
Jake: I snooched a little from outside. Why?
Jermaine: [Shrieks]
[Outside, the howling sound is louder. A paper-thing shadow demon slips through a tiny gap in the salt line.]
Shadow Demon 2: Get my cup, Ariel! Please, dude!
Ariel: You get it! I need my DAT tapes.
Shadow Demon 2: I can't fit through that hole Ariel! Aaaah!
[Jermaine holds a button while Jake and Finn stand to either side of the front door. Finn has the Finn Sword, Jake has the enormous sword from before.]
I'll shock him, and you guys ace his brains!
Finn and Jake: Got it!
Jermaine: [To Jake,] That sword's too unweildy, man.
Jake: But it'll look decent when I triple combo this bozo with this thing, right?
[Jake raises the sword over his head with great difficulty. He's bent backwards under its weight.]
Finn: Like how?
Jake: Like this, bro! [Grunting]
[Jake spins around, tries to raise the sword and falls on his back in front of the door instead.
Jake: Aah! Oof!
[The demon Ariel slides his head through the side of door.]
Ariel: Boo, stupid!
[Finn swings his sword into the door, but Ariel has already flown inside. Jermaine pushes the button, and Finn screams as he's electrocuted.]
[Cut to the ceiling, where Ariel stabs an arm down at Jermaine.]
Ariel: Where's my DAT tapes?!
[Jermaine runs into the next room, and Ariel follows.]
Jermaine: Epsilon, eudradies, epilindus...
[Jake tries to get up with the sword and falls again.]
Jake: Oof! Why is this thing so dense?
[Cut to Jermaine running through the hall, Ariel close behind.]
Jermaine: I got your tapes over here!
[Jermaine skids across the kitchen floor and under the table.]
Ariel: Give me my ta--Oof! Aah!
[Jermaine kicks the table up and into Ariel, pinning the demon. Cut to Finn and Jake running in from the hall.]
Jake: I got him! Hup!
[Jake jumps, makes himself larger and crashes down on the table, breaking the legs.]
Jake: Sha-boom! Woah, watch it!
[Ariel hits at Jake with all four limbs. Cut to Jermaine running to the kitchen counter.]
Jake: Cut his arms, Finn!
Finn: Okay!
[Jermaine kicks open a cabinet door and disappears into it. He rolls out of a different cabinet door under the sink with a vacuum strapped to his back. Finn and Jake are both shouting.]
[Cut back to Finn and Jake fighting Ariel. The demon has gotten out from under the table and is standing, but his arms have been cut off. Jake holds on to one by its two fingers while it tries to escape, and Finn cuts the other in half on the other side of the room. Jake continues shouting. Jermaine enters with the vacuum, turns it on and points it at Ariel.]
Finn: Woah!
[Ariel and his detached limbs are sucked into the vacuum.]
Jake: Wha--?
Ariel: Aaaaah!
[Jermaine turns off the vacuum. Cut to outside, the rest of the demons still wait outside the salt line. Jermaine runs across the yard with the vacuum.]
Shadow Demon 2: My cup, Jermaine!
[Jermaine drop-kicks the vacuum into the face of Shadow Demon 2.]
Shadow Demon 2: Oof!
Shadow Demon 3: You're a pain, Jermaine!
[Jermaine pushes the salt of the gap back into a continuous line and stomps back across the lawn.]
Shadow Demons: [Chanting] Jermaine the pain! Jermaine the pain!
[Scene changes to the foyer. Finn and Jake are both injured, but smiling.]
Jake: [Pumping his fists in the air,] Awesome, dude! We won!
Jermaine: I didn't win! [He stomps up to poke a finger in Jake's face.] When do I win?! Special guys one and two win every day! Crackin' jokes, readin' foodie mags in your tree-town fun-house. Must be nice to be so special you can go off and find your own fancy ways! Meanwhile I gotta stay here and watch Dad's trashy booty 'cause I never stretched into the sky and farted on the wings of a falcon, I guess!
Jake: Dude, I never farted on the wing of a falcon. [Snorts]
[Jermaine punches Jake in the face. Jake falls, and Jermaine yells as he jumps on him.]
Finn: Bros!
[Finn runs to follow the fight. Jake stands up and raises his hands in surrender.]
Jake: Chill, Jermaine.
Jermaine: [Uppercuts Jake on the chin.] Think I don't want a cushy tree-house life?! [Starts punching Jake repeatedly.] I don't even get salt! Saaalt! [Punching faster] Bark! Bark! Bark! [He pauses when his fist gets stuck in Jake's belly.] Huh?
[Jake stretches to the other side of the room with his top half. As his bottom starts to follow Jermaine pulls his fist free and bites Jake's butt.]
Jake: Yeowch!
[Jermaine hangs by his teeth from Jake's butt, growling. Jake's butt extends suddenly, punching Jermaine across the room. Jermaine grunts as he hits the bookshelf, then stands.]
Jermaine: I'm sick of bein' Daddy's watchdog.
[A humanoid hand appears from off-screen to hand Jermaine a sneaker with wings. Jermaine grunts and throws it at Jake, who has coiled his long body and is hugging his butt. The sneaker starts flapping its wings halfway to Jake and flies away while Finn and Jake watch. Jermaine makes frustrated grumbling noises.]
Finn: [To Jake,] This must've been building up for a while.
[Jermaine pulls the bottoms of his eyelids, roars, and throws the disembodied hand from before at Jake with a grunt.]
Jake: Woah!
[Jake dodges with his upper body, grabbing his butt at the last moment to pull it out of the way as well. The hand lands in front of Finn at the front door and explodes. Finn protects his face from the small explosion with one arm. The hand grows huge where it landed and encloses Finn.]
Finn: Wah!
[Finn's sword pokes out from the hand and cuts it in half, leaving fire in its wake. Finn jumps out from inside the hand. His sword remains on fire.
Finn: Hand fire.
[Finn looks down, realizes his sword is on fire and yells. Cut back to the whole room, Jermaine is yelling at Jake, who is now slightly larger but still holding up his hands.]
Jermaine: You got to be Dad's favorite! I got stuck with his mess!
Jake: Come on. Dad didn't have a favorite. He just liked my fart jokes.
[Jermaine picks up a ceramic bottle.]
Jermaine: I'm the fart joke!
[Jermaine throws the bottle at Jake, who ducks. Cut to the front door, where the bottle lands in front of Finn and breaks. A dinosaur-like creature with birthday hats on its head and tail appears from the bottle in a puff of smoke.]
Creature: Shazbaz! [Looks around.] Uh, no. Shazbaz!
[The creature vanishes in another puff of smoke. Cut to Jake and Jermaine. Jermaine punches Jake.]
Jake: Ow. Dad loved us both. [Jermaine punches him again.] You could've left any time.
Jermaine: [Punching Jake again,] I know!
Jake: If you punch me again I'm gonna fart.
[Jermaine punches Jake again. Jake farts from the top of his head. Jermaine chuckles tiredly. Jake stretches his butt over next to Jermaine's head and farts again. Jermaine puts his hand to his face, still chuckling.]
Jermaine: Oh man. I've really built my own cage.
[Cut to the entire room, half of which is on fire. Finn waves his arms, and Jake and Jermaine turn to look at him.]
Finn: Guys, guys, guys!
[Cut to outside, we see the demons gathered around the salt circle while the entire building burns. The screen pans up, where the smoke takes the shape of a hand.]
Finn: This whole place is burning down!
[Cut back to Finn.]
Finn: So if you're done being angry bonkers, let's work together!
[Finn and Jake bump fists. They look to Jermaine, who is turned away with arms crossed.]
Finn: Jermaine? You gonna leave me hanging, bro?
[Jermaine turns the other way and sighs, then turns his head towards Finn and Jake.]
Jermaine: Let it burn.
Jake: Huh?!
Finn: [Throws up his arms.] But all of Dad's stuff!
[Close-up of Jermaine, the fire reflected in his eyes.]
Jermaine: No... I think it's all right.
[Jermaine smiles and begins to cry. Fade to black.]
[The next day, Finn is on one knee looking at the broken remains of the line of salt outside.]
Finn: The salt line got broken. [He runs a finger across a gap in the grass.] Where'd all the d's go?
Jake: [Lying back on the grass,] Maybe with all their stuff gone they had no reason to stay.
[Cut to Jermaine, looking up at the sky. After a moment his watch starts to beep.]
Jermaine: Oh, no! The tape!
[Jermaine runs back towards the house. He digs through the rubble until he unearths the basement entrance. He grunts as he tries to lift it.]
Jermaine: Open...!
[Jake arrives, Finn on his back, and stretches to pull open the entrance. Jermaine falls back. All three stare into the basement as Bryce emerges, coughing, rolled-up poster in hand.]
Bryce: I got my poster!
[Bryce coughs up Booboo Sousa, which has the face torn off of it. Jermaine goes to its side.]
Jermaine: Booboo Sousa...
Bryce: I ate his stupid face off! It was sick.
Jermaine: Ugh. Do you even know what you sound like when you talk like that?
Bryce: I sound cool.
[Jermaine takes off his watch and throws it away.]
Jermaine: If that's what you think.
Bryce: That's what I know.
[Cut to Finn, who watches as Bryce and Jermaine walk off together. Bryce squints at the sky as he walks.]
Bryce: Dang. Has it always been so bright out here? Makes me wanna explode the sun and banish the Earth into darkness.
Jermaine: See? You're doing it again!
[Jake appears next to Finn wearing the bear costume, one ear still burning.]

Episode ends

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