I Wrote a Book is a book written by Lumpy Space Princess about her time working as Finn's secretary.

In the episode "Gotcha!," Lumpy Space Princess wants to write a book about how all the boys are after her lumps. After spending the day with Finn, she realized how Finn was the hot one because of his lumps on the inside. She wrote this instead of what she was originally going to write:

[...] realized I was the greatest Adventure Secretary that had ever passed through the junky doors of Fin [sic] & Jake Adventuring Incorporated. I had left an indelible mark for real. But that was nothing compared to my next realization. Are you ready for it. The realization? It's coming up in the next paragraph.

I never realized it was Finn who was hot all along. Finn ... was the one who was HOT. I know, right. Finn? I mean, Finn ... Finn! Finn? He was pretty nice to me. And he saved me from even hotter shadow guy versions of himself.

I don't know how it happened. Usually, I'm super observant about these kinds of things. Like that one time Melissa's lump was all crooked when she came back from the bathroom. I observed that. I observed that all day and I didn't say anything. She must have been so embarrassed for herself. Whatever. 'Cause that's what you deserve when you PO LSP. Ha. Oh, she knows what she did ... No, I'm not going to tell you.

After all, a girl's got to have some mysteries.

Anyway, I'll talk to you later, book. To recap, Finn is the one who is hot. I'll see you in the next chapter. BUMPS.


  • Unsold copies of the book are seen throughout the Lumpy Space level of Rock Bandits, embedded in the substance of Lumpy Space.