This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "My Two Favorite People" from season 1, which aired on May 3, 2010.

This transcript is complete.


[Finn and Jake are fighting a shark and Science Cat in front of their house.]
Jake: Pussy cat! Come here!
[The science cat throws a potion on him that turns Jake into a butterfly.]
Jake: Hey!
[The cat begins to chase Jake.]
Jake: Help!
Finn: Don't worry! His spells never last long.
Jake: Who are these guys? This is a great fight!
Finn: Yeah! You never fought them? They come out every day at four o’clock on the dot.
[Jake reverts to his normal form.]
Jake: I guess that's because I meet Lady Rainicorn every day at four o'clock on the dot. Oh shoot! I'm late!
Finn: You should stay, man. At five o'clock every day, I chop both their heads off, and they grow them back for the next day.
Jake: Aw, man, that sounds awesome! I do want to stay and fight those guys, but I also want to hang out with my girlfriend.
Finn: Boo!
Jake: [sighs] I should probably go. I'll see ya later, buddy. [Jake rides off in his bike.] Finn
Jake: [sighs] Oh!
[Jake rides up to Lady Rainicorn's house and climbs up onto the roof with Lady Rainicorn.]
Jake: Sorry! Sorry I'm late. Finn and I were fighting this shark and science cat, and I lost track of time. Anyway, I’m here now, M'lady, and I have brought to you half an orange.
[Lady Rainicorn and Jake eat their orange.]
Lady Rainicorn: Ooh! 고마워! ("Thanks!") [A beam from her horn hits a tree and turns it blue.]
Jake: Nice! Now make that green! [Lady turns the river green.]
Jake: [giggles] Ha ha ha! Yeah, that's good.
Lady Rainicorn: [yawns] 자러 가야겠다. (" I may have to go to sleep.")
Jake: Sleep! But we were supposed to play viola together!
Lady Rainicorn: 미안해. ("I'm sorry.")] [Kisses Jake on the head.] 니가 늦게 왔잖아. ("It's because you came late.")
Jake: [sighs] Yeah. Sorry again for coming so late.
Lady Rainicorn: 잘 자. ("Good night.") Jake
[Jake is riding home on a path through a forest on his bike with his viola in the basket.]
Shelby: [Pops out of the viola.] Hi Jake.
Jake: Oh, hey, Shelby.
Shelby: Why you looking so down in the dumps?
[Jake makes a kind of deflating noise.]
Shelby: No response, huh? Guess you're good.
Jake: I'm fed up, Shelby!
Shelby: Hmm?
Jake: Whenever I hang out with Lady Rainicorn, I miss out on fun times with Finn.
[Jake is using hand gestures to add emphasis, but he is riding a bike so he keeps swerving.]
Jake: And then when I hang out with Finn, I'm missin' out on Lady Rainicorn! [He lifted his hands in the air and he crashes into a tree.] Oh!
Shelby: [Popping out of the viola again.] Hey, Jake, why don't you just hang out with both of them at the same time?
Jake: [Jake props himself up, throwing the leaves off.] And then I won't miss anything! Shelby! My problems are solved.
[Screen wipes to Finn, Jake, and Lady Rainicorn having a picnic by a fire pit.]
Jake: Ah, isn't this great? This is totally great. [To Finn] Isn't it?
Finn: Yeah.
Jake: [To Lady Rainicorn] Isn't it?
Lady Rainicorn: 맞아. ("You’re right.") [Jake laughs deeply.]
Finn: [Excitedly] What? What did she say?
Jake: She said she also thinks it's great.
Finn: Oh.
Jake: Yeah.
[Silent pause.]
Jake: Hmm... [Jake crawls up in front of them.] Hey, did you know that you both have an awesome sense of humor?
Finn: We do?
Jake: Yeah! Anybody have a joke?
Finn: Oh, I have a joke! [Laughs.] Okay, [laughs] okay. Knock knock.
Lady Rainicorn: 누구세요 ("Who's there?")
Jake: She said, "who's there?"
Finn: Diarrhea!
Jake: 쟤가 설사래. ("He said "diarrhea.")
Lady Rainicorn: 어, 나도 들었어. 뭐야, 하나도 재미없잖아. ("Oh, I got it too. What was that? It hardly qualifies as a joke.") [Sips drink]
Finn: Did she say diarrhea who?
Jake: Uh, no. No, she didn't say, "diarrhea who?" She didn't... say it. Lady, how 'bout you tell a joke?
Lady Rainicorn: 글쎄.. 뭐가 있었을까? 아! 우리 완전히 다 벗고 상추밭 미친듯이 뛰어다닌 거 기억 나? [Jake and Lady Rainicorn giggle] 그 농부 아저씨 완전 맛이 갔었지! ("Maybe... What could it have been? Ah! Do you remember when we got completely naked, and frantically ran around in the farmer's cabbage patch? [Jake and Lady giggle] That farmer got crazy mad!")
Finn: What's the joke?
Jake: Uhh... well, the joke doesn’t translate very well.
Finn: Man, I- I might leave. Is it okay if I leave? I kind of want to go fight something.
Jake: Noooo! Don’t leave. [Gets up to pace.] If there was only some way you two could talk to each other directly. [Pause] Oh, dude! I just remembered! There's a universal translator device at the bottom of Lake Szelezon!
Finn: The lake guarded by evil Lake Knights?
Jake: Yeah, I can't remember why I threw it in there. Let's all go and get it!
Finn: Whoa [Runs towards Jake] [whispers] Jake! You’re inviting Rainicorn? No offense, but isn't she a little too sweet for deadly adventure?
Jake: Trust me, Finn, she’s the Rowdy Queen. She can do anything!
Finn: Hmmm. Alright! Trust pound!
[The camera shows them fist pounding and then the Adventure Time logo spins from in between their fists.]
[Finn is riding Jake towards the lake with Lady flying beside them.]
[They get to the lake and Lady turns them blue with her horn.]
Finn: Underwater camouflage!
[They are shown swimming down into the lake. Finn points towards a group of lake knights and the fight starts]
[Finn fends off a few and Jake grabs a bunch and punches them. Lady attacks a few and Finn is seen strangling one knight when he notices the treasure at the bottom of the lake. He throws aside the dead lake knight and swims towards it. He grabs the translator and gives a thumbs up to Jake and Lady. Jake is Giving a thumbs up back when the lake starts rumbling. Finn is shocked when knights begin surrounding him from the crevasse surrounding the treasure. They overcome Finn and Jake is distracted by a couple while Lady runs down and knocks them away from Finn by spinning around. Finn rides Lady past Jake and out of the lake.]
[They shout in victory.]
Finn: Lady! You are incredible! You should adventure with us all the time!
Jake: [chuckles] All according to plan.
Lady: 고마워, 나도 재밌었어. ("Thanks, I enjoyed it too.")
Finn: Uhhh, what?
Jake: [Runs up to them] Here's the translator. [He puts the translator around Lady's neck] Let’s see here. [Turns on the device and switches through the options] The voice options are... Old man, nerdy alien, ooor nightmare? [He has it switched to nightmare] Try sayin' something toots!
Lady: [Makes scratchy, grungy noises] [Jake looks disturbed and goes to change it to old man]... and then I ate all the peaches in the orchard, and that farmer was sooo angry!
Finn: [Laughs] I like this voice!
Lady: [Jake switches it to nerdy aliens] [Lady makes some gurgley, indistinguishable noises]
Lady: [Finn laughs again] [Jake switches it back to old man]...and that's the end of my story.
Jake: [sighs] Well, at least with old man option we can understand him, I MEAN HER! I mean you sugar!
Lady: Hop on my back and I'll give you a ride home!
Finn: [laughs] Whatever you say grandpa! [Flips onto her back] Hai-yah!
Lady: Come on my darling. Wrap your legs around me.
Jake: [sighs] I remember why I drowned that translator now.
[Screen wipes to Finn and Jake riding on Lady's back over a forest]
Finn: Hey grandpa, how are you able to fly if you don't have wings?
Lady: Well, light travels from the sun. Then bounces off of our planet and then back into our eyes so we can perceive color.
Jake: Whoa! [Being bounced by Lady’s wavy flying style]
Lady: My body can intercept that light and dance around on it. [Jake is sliding off of her]
Jake: Lady! It's a little rocky in the back seat here!
Finn: [laughs] Shmow! [Screen cuts to the Forest Wizard giving away rings] That forest wizard is giving away free power rings!
Lady: Do you wanna try gettin' some Finn?
Finn: Yeahs! [Lady dives down towards the clearing]
Jake: [Flies off Lady’s tail end] Laaaadyyy! [Falls towards the forest] Fiiiiinn! [Turns into a flat hang glider-like object] Lady! [Floats down into the trees and onto the ground] [He gets up] Lady! Finn! [He grows huge and shouts above the trees] Y'all around here? [Looks around] Dang it! [Turns to see fireworks coming from the trees accompanied by the sounds of Lady and Finn having fun with the rings]
[Screen cuts to Finn, Lady, and some animals cheering for the wizard]
Finn: [While the forest wizard does tricks and the small animals cheer] Whoa! Did you see that!? This is like the funnest thing ever!
Jake: [Burst through the trees and scares everyone away] There you are! [Shrinks down] Where were you guys?
Finn: Wait a minute, you didn't fly down with us?
Lady: We thought you were behind us the whole time!
Jake: Noooo! [Looking sad] I fell off your tail end! [Turns and looks mad] I was shouting your name!
Lady: [Comes up and nudges him] Ooh! Honey pot, we probably couldn't here you because of the cloud density.
Finn: Jake! Check out these power rings! [The rings each expel some sort of magical display]
Jake: Whoa. That's cool! You got ten of them?
Finn: Yeah! Lady got some too.
Jake: [Lady shows Jake her rings] Oh, that’s cool.
Finn: Uh, You want one of mine? I’ve got so many.
Jake: Yeah! Thanks man!
Finn: Oh. Wait, I can't take them off. I guess they're cursed. [Shoots blue flames from his fingertips] Still pretty cool though.
Jake: Yeah, they're awesome. [Depressed]
[Screen wipes to Finn and Jake's house at night. Jake is sitting on the couch while Lady and Finn play a racing game]
Finn: [Jake takes a sip of his drink] [Finn and Lady laugh] Alright this time I’m gonna destroy you Rainicorn!
Lady: Oh, okay. [Jake starts walking up from behind them] That sounds nice.
Finn: Oh I got the sword!
Jake: Hey, Lady, you wanna go play music together or somethin'?
Lady: Oh, oh. Uh, I would, but I-I'm in the middle of this game.
Jake: Oh. [Goes over to Finn] Hey Finn. After this next game do you wanna go adventurin' with me?
Finn: Lady and I are going to a party in the Cloud Kingdom tonight. [Jake looks startled] You should go to that with us.
Jake: Humph! Humph Humph Humph! [sighs and looks sad] [sighs and grumbles]
Finn: Jake stop sighing you're messing up my game! [Jake sighs again] Jake! [Finn looks away from screen] What’s goin' on with you!
Jake: Mmmm, Nothin'!
Finn: Awww dang it! Man, Lady, you’re too good at this! Hey, It's time to party with clouds! Jake, you comin'?
Jake: No!
Finn: [Walking up to Jake] Dude, I thought you wanted to spend more time with me and Lady together?
Jake: I do. [Looking hurt and sad]
Finn: Then come on.
Jake: No YOU go ahead! [In a harsh tone] And YOU have fun with MY girlfriend!
Finn: Uhhh... [Jake sighs] We're gonna head to the party, but you should meet us there and stop acting weird. [Finn walks away]
Jake: [Finn and Lady are seen flying away outside the window] [sighs]
[Screen wipes to Jake sitting by pictures of him and Lady and him and Finn]
Jake: [sighs] [Looks over at a Finn-and-Jake-timeless clock, it is 11:50.] They should be back by now! [He grabs his headset phone and dials the Cloud Kingdom.]
Cloud man: Hello Cloud Kingdom.
Jake: Uh, yes, hello. Um, I’m lookin' for Finn the Human and Lady Rainicorn. [Cloud man throws a soda to someone] Hello, can you hear me? Hello.
Cloud man: Yeah, they left a while ago.
Jake: A while ago?!
Jake: [Jake bursts through the front door on his bike, looking around frantically. He looks startled.] What the-! [He stops on the hill overlooking Lady's house to find Finn and Lady hanging out without him, changing the color of things like he and Lady used to do.]
Finn: [Lady changes a tree pink.] [Finn and Lady laugh] Yeah! Now make that orange! [Lady complies.] And make that purple! [Lady complies. Jake gasps.] Wow Lady! Hanging out with you it the best!
Lady: I like you too Finn.
Jake: Nooo [Falls onto his knees with his arms in the air] oooooo! My girlfriend... in the arms of my best pal! [Picks up phone] Well, TWO can play at that game, sweet cheeks! [He scrolls through his contacts] Let's see... "Doug, Todd, Jerry, Dennis, Reggie, Peter, George, Larry, Luke, David, Benton, Mike R., Mike H., Mike A., Gareth, Jennings, Mr. International, Mr. Outrageous, Captain Majesty, The Flying Lettuce Brothers, Pete the Punk"... [gasp] Tiiffaanyy! [In an evil tone] PERFECT! Muhuhaha! [Calls Tiffany.]
[Cut to Lady and Finn on the roof]
Finn: [Lady and Finn laughing] Man, I wish Jake was here having fun with us. [Stops and hears viola music] Hey, where’s that music coming from?
Jake: [Him and Tiffany are sitting on stumps playing viola] Yeah, yeah, louder.
Lady: [Sees Jake and Tiffany] [gasps] Jake what are you doing?
Jake: Oh, hey guys. I'm just sharing a tender moment with my beautiful friend Tiffany.
Finn: Stop! You're making Lady jealous!
Jake: Well I’m trying to make you both jealous!
Finn: [Lady looks mad] Why would I be jealous of Tiffany?
Jake: Becaaause, Tiffany's a boy! [Tiffany spins around to face the camera]
Tiffany: [Laughs evilly] Jake's MY best friend now! FOREVER!
Finn: [Looks extremely startled] [gasps] [Finn growls and leaps towards Tiffany] Yaaaaaaahhh! [Tackles Tiffany out of view][They fight and Tiffany pulls out a knife, but Finn kicks it away] Home wrecker! [They continue fighting]
Lady: Jake, what's going on with you?
Jake: [sighs] I guess I'm just jealous of how much you and Finn like each other.
Lady: I'm hanging out with Finn because you wanted us to get to know each other better.
Jake: I know. Gaah.
Finn: [Finn punches Tiffany in the face while on top of him] Get out of my life Tiffany! And never come back [Punches him again]
Tiffany: [Kicks Finn off of him] No! Jake will be mine!
Jake: I'm sorry I'm an idiot baby. Forgive me?
Lady: Oh sweet potato, I love you BECAUSE you're an idiot. You make me feel like a genius!
Jake: [Lady and Jake laugh] You make me feel like I'm huggin' an old man. It's time to get rid of this piece of crud. [rips translator off and throws it into the grass]
Lady: [giggles] 이게 더 좋아? ("Do you prefer this one?")
Jake: Yeah! Waaay better! [they hug]
Finn: Beat it Tiffany! Go on! Get!
Tiffany: You'll never defeat me! I will! Be Jake's best friend! Because I'm! Tiffanyyyy [Finn spits on his head and he runs off] Ahhhhhh!
Jake: [Lady is wrapped partially around Jake] I'm sorry I was an idiot. Forgive me?
Finn: Shut up man, I don't wanna hear that stuff. [He steps into the circle made by Lady] Lemme get in there.
Jake: Let's never be stupid again.
Finn: Wait! Let's always be stupid! Forever!
[Everyone laughs and the episode ends.]