This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Princess Day" from season 6, which aired on July 31, 2014.

This transcript is complete.


[Episode opens at the Breakfast Kingdom]
Breakfast Princess: We are delighted to host this year's Princess Day in Breakfast Kingdom! Please enjoy the continental breakfast expertly prepared by our Breakfast Chefs. Now, on to more pressing matters. Brigands have been attacking our western seaports, dozens of unregistered princesses roam the land, and trade deficits are at an all-time high. Historically, Breakfast Kingdom has traded one sack of sugar a month to Slime Kingdom in exchange for four eggs, but egg production has plummeted!
Slime Princess: I can't just pop out eggs on command! I'm an artisan!
Breakfast Princess: You have an egg in you right now.
Slime Princess: [gasps, covers the egg] How dare you?
Muscle Princess: Yeah, and what about that peanut juice, Peanut Princess? My body needs juice!
Peanut Princess: I'm not giving out a single drop of nut butter. Not until Raggedy Princess pays me!
Raggedy Princess: Fine! Take it! [starts pulling socks out of her eye] Take all my socks!
Peanut Princess: You still owe me a pair of jorts!
Lumpy Space Princess: [bored, arguing is heard through the room] Aaah! [hits her arms on the table] You guys, I'm bored out of my face! I make a motion to stop talking about dumb stuff that's lame!
Breakfast Princess: Oh, Lumpy Space Princess, I'm afraid you'll have to be patient with us and our petty disputes. Not all of us have achieved the self-sufficiency that I assume you have in your kingdom. [gasps] Oh wait, that's right. You don't have a kingdom! You live in a box in the woods.
Lumpy Space Princess: It's not a box. It's a rotting log.
Breakfast Princess: [scoffs] Sorry, LSP, but the chair only recognizes real princesses, not bums.
Lumpy Space Princess: What?! I'm like a cool hippie!
Breakfast Princess: Whatever, freeloader. If you were invited to Princess Day, it must have been a mistake or as a joke. Am I right, girls?
Strudel Princess: [sitting behind Breakfast Princess] Ohh!
Lumpy Space Princess: The joke's on you because I wasn't invited. I'm crashing! And I already ate a bunch of your food! What you gonna do about it, Princess Egg Breath?
All: Ooh!
Cinnamon Bun: [leans by Flame Princess] That's true. She does have egg breath.
Breakfast Princess: Okay, you've wasted enough of our time. Guards, take this pamplemousse out of my sight.
Lumpy Space Princess: [gasps] You didn't! [guards come out of a door and go towards her] Don't touch me! [walks to the food table and eats a bowl of croissants and leaves]
Marceline: Hmm.
Breakfast Princess: Okay. Now that the wannabe's gone, let's get back to princess business. O-Oh, n-not you, Princess Business. Uh, princess business. No, sounds the same. I'm sorry.
Marceline: [floats by Princess Bubblegum] Hey, you want to ditch this jazz?
Princess Bubblegum: I'd love to, but I'm really invested in this crossword puzzle.
Marceline: Figs.
Princess Bubblegum: Hmm.
Marceline: [goes out the door where LSP is] LSP, wait up! [looks at the pancake walls] Whoa.
Lumpy Space Princess: [cutting the pancake walls with a knife, muttering] Lousy Breakfast Princess. Pamplemousse. What is that even?
Marceline: Yo, LSP. [LSP turns to Marceline] Sick tag.
Lumpy Space Princess: Oh. Thanks?
Marceline: You know, I like your vibe, dude. You don't take anyone's sass.
Lumpy Space Princess: Yeah, especially not from that gross pile of greasy hash! She lumpin' humiliated me!
Marceline: Listen, let's get even. Teach Old Greasy Locks a lesson. [holds up a bunch of forks and knives]
Lumpy Space Princess: You're bad. [shows LSP's whole face] And I like it!
Lumpy Space Princess: [scene changes to another room] This place is huge! [starts cutting the pancake walls]
Marceline: [starts singing the Breakfast Song] This place smells like butter, bacon, sausage, and juice.
Lumpy Space Princess: Gonna mess with Breakfast Princess, 'cause she called me pamplemousse.
Marceline: [texting Princess Bubblegum] "Yobo, Peebocheeks. Just kicking down the town with LSP-boos. She is acting sooo bad."
Princess Bubblegum: [shows Princess Bubblegum texting back to Marceline] "Ha. Just don't let her get out of control."
Marceline: "Too late. LSP is really doing it up right now. And I'm just feeding the flames."
Princess Bubblegum: "Nooooo" exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point!
Lumpy Space Princess: [changes back to LSP and Marceline] Look. There. Breakfast Princess' room.
Marceline: How do you want to get past the Maple Man?
Lumpy Space Princess: I'll show you, hon. [goes down the stairs] Ooh! Aah! Hey there! [shakes the plant] Yeah, look over here!
Syrup Guard: What? [his syrup comes out the side of his face, groans and falls, Marceline appears]
Marceline: Nice distraction.
Both: Right on. [give each other a high five]
Marceline: [spits the syrup in the plant] Ugh. I can't digest syrup.
Lumpy Space Princess: [hits the Syrup Guard] That's for poisoning my girl.
Marceline: Stop! Okay, just one more time.
Lumpy Space Princess: [hits the guard again] I thought you were bad. Bad people don't stop.
Marceline: Let's don't stop inside. [They go inside Breakfast Princess' room]
Both: P-p-p-payback!
Lumpy Space Princess: [goes into her closet, comes back carrying pancakes and bacon] Ugh. All her clothes are sticky. [eats a piece of a pancake]
Marceline: [holding a CD] And her taste in music is terrible. [knocks the CDs off the desk and takes the one she's holding] Check it out. I hate this album, but I'm taking it anyway.
Lumpy Space Princess: [laughs] That's messed up! [eats the pile of pancakes and bacon she's holding in one bite] This'll teach Breakfast Princess. [gives Marceline a high five]
Syrup Guard #2: [shows him coming from a room, sees the guard] Huh? Jerry! [lifts his head up] Who did this to you, Jerry?
Jerry: I don't know, but they got past me.
Marceline: [Syrup Guard #2 starts opening the door, Marceline gasps] We're busted. Turn invisible!
Lumpy Space Princess: I can't.
Marceline: Well, [turns invisible] hide then.
Lumpy Space Princess: Uh..Hide where? [goes by the back of the door]
Syrup Guard #2: I know somebody's in here. I-I heard someone say "where." [LSP goes and picks a grapefruit off a tree, cuts it in half, goes by the door] Getting close now! [opens the door all the way] No sign of the [LSP squeezes the grapefruit so juice gets in the guard's eyes] Aah! My eyes! [LSP laughs, Marceline reappears] Oh, smells like grapefruit.
Both: Yeah! [give each other a high five, LSP hits Jerry the Syrup Guard, both laugh and go upstairs]
Syrup Guard #2: When I recover my sight, I'm going to imprison you, you giggling girls! [tries keeping his eyes open] Aah!
Both: [running down a hall, breathing heavily]
Lumpy Space Princess: I got this. [cuts a circle in the pancake wall, they go through it, cuts another circle in another pancake wall, they look outside the hole, the Syrup Guard comes back]
Syrup Guard #2: [breathing heavily] I don't see them.
Both: Hey. [the guard turns around, Marceline makes a scary face at him so he falls out of the hole]
Lumpy Space Princess: Oh, glob. [the guard moans]
Both: He's okay!
Syrup Guard #3: [the guard and another guard come to the guard that fell] Other Jerry, what happened?
Lumpy Space Princess & Marceline: Yeah! [give each other a high five]
Breakfast Princess: [scene changes to her] Okay, let's take a lunch break, everybody. [a guard comes in] Oh, when I mean lunch, I, of course, mean breakfast.
Syrup Guard #4: Your highness. There are vandals ruining the castle. They are bad.
Breakfast Princess: Okay, I'll handle it. [turns to everyone in the hall] Fellow princesses, I got to deal with matters of state. My little sister, Strudel Princess, will take over for me.
Strudel Princess: Eat the berries, dip them in the syrup, whoop whoop, want me to show you how?
Lumpy Space Princess: [scene changes back to her and Marceline, who are in the breakfast car, Lumpy Space Princess tries to start it with her knife, the engine turns over]
Both: Whoo!
Lumpy Space Princess: A squirrel taught me how to do that.
Marceline: That's awesome.
Breakfast Princess: Stop right there! [gets hit by the car]
Marceline: Hey! Calm your lumps. [kneels by Breakfast Princess, listens to her heart, Breakfast Princess moans] It's okay! She's just dazed. I'll handle it. [puts Breakfast Princess in the trunk] Come on. [puts the CD in the music player, the engine turns over, they drive away from the castle, LSP sighs] It'll be okay, dude. Girls like us just got to stick together.
Breakfast Princess: LSP, is that you?
Lumpy Space Princess: Oh, glob, no. Not even. [Marceline takes her out of the trunk, LSP throws a shovel in front of her]
Breakfast Princess: What's this for?
Lumpy Space Princess: For digging. Now start building a sand castle. [Breakfast Princess starts digging in the sand, Marceline and LSP get back in the car] Don't stop digging or we'll know! [they drive away, Breakfast Princess stops digging and walks away]
Both: [take off their masks] Whoo! [give each other a high five]
Marceline: Yeah.
Lumpy Space Princess: [chuckles] That was totally fun being bad with you, Marcy.
Marceline: [chuckles] Yeah, that was pretty rad.
Lumpy Space Princess: Do you think, like, doing all that bad stuff makes, bad people?
Marceline: Uh...probably not. I don't think there are bad people. I think good people do bad stuff sometimes, and, oh, that's bad. But only if you do it once, it's just a mistake, and...that's not bad. I think.
Lumpy Space Princess: [laughs] Word.
Marceline: But...I mean, [sighs] I do think it was wrong to steal this CD.
Lumpy Space Princess: Yeah, I feel kind of bad about that.
Marceline: We should probably mail it back to her.
Lumpy Space Princess: Yeah. Good call. I—Oh my glob! [they drive into a big ditch, they float out of the car, Lumpy Space Princess almost falls, Marceline holds her up, they watch the car fall and explode]
Both: [give each other a high five] Pow!
Strudel Princess: [scene changes back to her] -Couldn't get up from the bed. I was lazy, and that's why I can't have frosting anymore. Okay, so does everybody have what they want? [all cheer]
Slime Princess: Wait, I think I'm ready to pop it. [pops the egg out of her, the egg hits Strudel Princess in the face]
Strudel Princess: Happy Princess Day! [giggles]

Episode ends