This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Princess Potluck" from season 5, which aired on April 22, 2013.

Ice Kingdom
This transcript is complete.


[Finn and Jake are walking over a hilly terrain. Finn is walking with a shoe with no sock and Jake has a lipstick spiral on his face.]
Finn: Ow ow, ow! [Seethes then blushed.]
Jake: Your shoe rash is gross, man. [Zooms on Finn's shoe rash.] Oh, I'm gonna throw up! [Gags] Ah, I'm just kidding!
Finn: Man, I wish I had my other sock, this callous is gonna junk up my good time at PB's potluck.
Jake: Don't worry man, we're going to have a ton of fun. We'll eat some melon, I'll get some compliments on my pretty makeup.
Finn: You look like a target.
Jake: I look pretty!
[An arrow flies near Jake's head off screen.]
[Finn grunts at the pain. They arrive at the party, there are partygoers chatting.]
Princess Bubblegum: [Coming from far away] Does everyone have a tray?
Finn: [He sees a bounce house] [Shrieks] Bounce House! Come on, Jake! [Goes infront of Bounce House Princess.] Bounce bounce! [Prepares to climb in.]
Bounce House Princess: Oh ho. Oh, hi Finn.
Finn: Oh my goodness, sorry Bounce House Princess, I didn't know it was you.
Bounce House Princess: Ah ha, that's okay, you wanna go inside, bounce around a little? [Opens her cover.]
Finn:  [Embarrassed and blushing] Mmm that's okay. Come on, Jake. Let's, eh, go party.
Everyone: Hey guys.
Finn: [Heading towards a table.] Hello. Hello, Princess Princess Princess, hey, Embryo Princess, heeey youuu.
Princess Bubblegum: Welcome to the potluck guys. Jake, you look pretty.
Jake: Thank you.
Princess Bubblegum: What's up with the limp?
Finn: I've been going foot nude in the shoe and now I got this turbo huge callous. [Stretches up leg to show Princess Bubblegum.]
Jake: [Gags]
Princess Bubblegum: Well, sit down and relax. Oh, by the way, I've entered everyone's name into a raffle and the winner gets whatever is in that. [Points to a large blue cooler on the side of the table.]
Finn: Mysterious. Oh, brought something for the party!
Princess Bubblegum: Oh, how wonderful!
Finn: Bam! Soda!
Princess Bubblegum: Oh...
Finn: It's warm and I shook it up... a lot.
Princess Bubblegum: Well, great, I'll just put this on ice. [Walks up to a pile of snow and places Soda Can into it.]
[The scene goes into Ice King's castle. A blue landscape with white teepee, it turns out to be the Ice King's belly.]
Ice King: [Sings "Hair Teepees"] [His senses go off in the form of blue waves.] [Gasps] Someone outside is messing with my ice! [Picks up Gunter and flies to window to look at his telescope.] Let's see what's going on down there Gunts. [Gasps] My GF Princess Bubblegum — [Gasps] — my BFs Finn and Jake, all the fine princesses who want to date me! What the heck?! My bro-dogs for life are throwing a party without me?! [Puts down Gunter.] Just when you think you got some great bros they kick you to the curb! [Walks back to window.] Oh, I see how it is, they're gonna do me like that? So I'mma do them like this! [Shakes fist.]
[In the forest, a rabbit hopes around and sniffs the air.]
Ice King: Caw! Caw! [Laughs and nets the rabbit.] That's how the owls do it. [Picks rabbit out of net.] Well, hello, little one. You're going to help me ruin a party! [Puts rabbit in a sack and laughs.]
Cat: Meow. [It paws at a bug.]
Ice King: Eeh? [He nets the cat.]
[Another rabbit stops to scratch itself, it is also netted. A cat licks its paw, it is netted as well. Two rabbits hopping on a trampoline, they are netted and stop for a bit, only to hope again. Two cats purring as one messages the other's back, they are also netted. More rabbits, three of them, attempt to run from a flying Ice King who nets them all.]
[Back at the Ice Kingdom, the Ice King is holding a cat.]
Ice King: [Places a lemon on the cat, the lemon promptly falls off.]
Cat: Meow?
Ice King: Oh, quiet you. [Places another lemon on the cat and this time it appears to stay balance, he then grabs a piece of yarn and secures the lemon.] That's it for the kitties! [Shoves cat into sack.] [Walks over to kitchen table.] How are my bunnies doing?
[The rabbits are eating a pan of lasagna.]
Ice King: Hee hee, that's it, ah yes. Gunter! More lazagnah!
Gunter: Whenk. [Pulls out fresh baked lasagna.]
[The Ice King walks to the edge of the snow behind a bush with two sacks over his shoulder. He places the bags down and peeps around the bush to see the partygoers still partying.]
Ice King: Okay! [Opens sack that contains the cats.] Go, my little sour pussies, ruin their party! Hee hee hee.
[Slime Princess, Jake, Finn, and Hot Dog Princess are dancing. Finn is dancing on one foot.]
Finn: [Stops dancing to see a cat with a lemon on its back.]
Cat: Meow...
Finn: Awww, hey Jake, check out this cat.
Jake: I don't like cats, man! [Continues dancing.]
Finn: Do you like fresh lemon in your ice tea?
Jake: Yes.
Finn: [Squeezes lemon drops into Jake's drink.]
Jake: Ha ha! Alright!
[Orange Princess, Turtle Princess, Muscle Princess, Skeleton Princess and Princess Princess Princess, are seen playing with the cats who no longer have lemons tied to their backs.]
Princess Bubblegum: [Squeezing lemon in her drink.] It looks like we don't have to make that lemon run after all.
Lumpy Space Princess: Yes!
[Back to Ice King still behind the bush.]
Ice King: [He "tsks" and grumbles. He reaches for the second sack containing the rabbits.] At least I still have my "party-poopers", heh heh, raagh! Oh glob [Pants] Urrreeh! [Closes sack and wipes hand on his robe.] So much lazagnah. [Walks away leaving the sack in the snow.]
[Inside the castle, Ice King is taking out tape and a pair of socks.]
Ice King: Gunter, daddy needs you to dress up like a princess so you can sneak into that party and throw fruit punch on everybody.
Gunter: Wenk.
Ice King: Huh, you wanna do that for daddy, huh?
Gunter: Wenk! [Flaps flippers.]
Ice King: Thanks, sweetie! I can always count on my Gunts! [Begins to rip off tape and stick socks on Gunter's body.] [Picks up bottle cap.] Finishing touch. [Puts cap on Gunter's head.] Yeah, Gunter, hot! You better be careful Gunter or I'll keep you like this all the time! Heh, I just might have to chase you around... Marry you—
Gunter: [Pulls out a taser]
Ice King: Oh, whoa! Just kidding!
Gunter: [Turns off taser and places in sock skirt.]
Ice King: [Carries Gunter to window.] Arms out Gunter. [Tossing Gunter out of the window he uses his ice breath to send her gliding downward.]
[Gunter lands on the grass and looks around. Finn is nursing his calloused foot in a bowl of food.]
Gunter: Wenk. [Walks to table.]
Ice King: [Viewing through a telescope.] Yes, atta Gunter, get a cup of punch!
Gunter: Wenk! [Grabs a cup of punch.] [Walks over to Jake who is dancing.] [Jake spots Gunter and stops.]
Jake: Huh?! Oh, hey, Gunter. Hey, everybody, Gunter is here! [Everyone says "hey, Gunter" and waves.] [An arrow comes off screen and nearly hits Jake.]
Slime Princess: Gunter, come party with us.
Ice King: No, Gunter! Do not party with them!
Lumpy Space Princess: Get those buns on the dance floor, girl! [Everyone begins to chant "Gunter."]
Gunter: Wenk. [Drinks a little soda and goes in the middle of a ring.] [He starts dancing.]
Ice King: No, Gunter! [Starts crying.]
Finn: Hmm, hey, Gunter, let me get one of them socks.
Gunter: [Pulls out taser and electrocutes Finn's arm which causes him to back away while screaming.]
Finn: Oh... ow.
[Ice King has stopped crying and is walking around.]
Ice King: They think their party is the bee's knees huh. That party is the knees of nothing!
[Ice King looks on his telescope, Gunter is still dancing and the partygoers are still chanting her name.]
Ice King: Bargh! There oughta be a law! Wait a minute... there is a law, hee hee, do I have what it takes?
[Inside the Banana Guard's surveillance room, the phone rings and one of the Banana Guards picks it up.]
Banana Guard: Banana Guard.
Ice King: I'm calling to tattle.
Banana Guard: Oh, okay, who are you tattling on?
Ice King: The party going on next door, it's bothering everyone in the Ice Kingdom.
Banana Guard: Ice Kingdom? Is this the Ice King?
Ice King: Yes.
Banana Guard: Well uh, we hate you, so — [Hangs up phone, laughed and the other Banana Guard snickers, then the phone rings again.]
Banana Guard: Banana Guard.
Ice King: [High pitched voice.] Yes, this is a little old lady calling about the loud party.
Banana Guard: Is this the Ice King?
Ice King: [Has on pink shawl and holding a cane.] Noooo, this is Mrs. Garam-bling-ton...
Banana Guard: Mrs. Garamblington?
Ice King: Yeah, hold on let me get my husband. [Tosses away shawl and cane and puts on hard hat.] [In a deep voice] Yeah, this is Mr. Garamblington, I need you to shut down this party.
Banana Guard: Your wife sounds pretty old.
Ice King: Uh, hold on there's someone at the door. [Knocks on wall.] Yes, hello? [Takes off hard hat and puts on a cap.] [High boyish voice] Hey, Mr. Garamblington, it's me, the pizza delivery boy. [Puts on hard hat.] Oh, hi, Johnny. [Puts on cap.] Boy, that sure is a loud party out there, hope it's not bothering the Mrs. [Puts on hard hat with cap still on.] It's okay Johnny, I'm on the phone with the Banana Guard and they're going to take care of it.
[Scene goes to both Guards listening to the conversation.]
Ice King: [Boyish voice] Oh, that's good. [Deep voice] Well, what do I owe ya, Johnny? [Boyish voice] It's twelve fifty-seven, Mr. G. [Deep voice] Okay, there you go, the prices are going up. [Boyish voice] Oh, geez, do you have anything smaller? [Deep voice] Ah, let me check with my brother, George. Hey, George! [Another voice] What?! [Deep voice] The pizza is here, you got any cash on ya? [Another voice] I only got a fifty dollar bill!
Banana Guard: Uh, Mr. Garamblington?
Ice King: [Deep voice, wearing another hat.] Yes?
Banana Guard: We'll take care of it.
Ice King: Ha haa! [Goes to window, pulls out opera glasses.] Now to watch Banana law in action.
[The Banana Guards show up and chat with Princess Bubblegum and then they start dancing.] [The Ice King's hand holding the glasses go limp.]
Banana Guard: This is a great party.
[The Ice King is now outside holding a radio with Gunthalina.]
Ice King: Two can play the party game! [Puts radio on a stool and turns it on.] Ooh, nice. Alright come on Gunthalina, I need you to pass out some whirling dervishes, the guests are getting restless.
[The guest are three snow people who react slowly.]
Ice King: [Holding plate with grapes.] Loose grape medley, stack of enriched flour tortillas — and start with Roger, he looks famished.
Gunthalina: Wenk! [Takes food over to Roger and shoves them into its bottom.]
Ice King: Everyone, smile and eat... and make our neighbors jealous. [Pulls out telescope to see Gunter still dancing around and the partygoers still cheering.]
Ice King: Bah! Gunter's too captivating! [Up beat music plays.] Um? Oh yeah! [Runs over to radio.] Oh this is my jam! Time to get my freak nasty on! [Turns up volume.] Roger, dance with me! [He jumps on Roger and begins to dance around him.] [He looks through his telescope again to see everyone still cheering for Gunter.] Come on! If only there was some way I could magically ruin their party. [Looks at hands.] Wait a minute [Laughs] forgetful me!
[The Ice King flies to the sky and into a cloud, which turns dark and stormy. He shoots down a large ice lighting shard which hits a sound system and surprises Finn and the partygoers.]
Ice King: I thought you were my bros, my roll dogs for life! [Sends down hail which hits everyone and causes them discomfort. "Ow, Ice King!"]
Bounce House Princess: Ow! Hey, everyone, take refuge in my body! [Everyone climbs inside her, except Finn who is sitting on the food table.]
Finn: Ice King, don't make me stand up and whomp you!
Ice King: Well, if that's what it takes for a fella to get noticed around here, then whomp me! [Sends down another ice lightning shard, this time directed at Finn who dodges it.]
Finn: That's.... IT! [Takes off sock less shoe. He back flips on top of Bounce House Princess and grabs onto the Ice King. He then puts his shoe on his nose.]
Ice King: Oh mama, that's some stink! [Loses altitude.] Aaaah!
Finn: Why are you doing this, IK?!
Ice King: Because she didn't invite me to her potluck!
Princess Bubblegum: Yes, I did! I sent your invite in the mail!
Ice King: The mail?! Who reads the mail! I just stack all my mail in a tall pile until it falls over, heh heh, then I shred it to use as cascarones! [Takes one out and smashes it on Finn's face.] So uh, can I party with you?
Finn: Only if you promise to stop acting nanners.
Ice King: Nanners, well I don't even know the meaning of the word.
[The scene changes with Ice King bouncing around with a punch in his hand.]
Ice King: Whoo ooh! Party time, right guys?! Whooo hooo! [Finn is making a shoe for his feet and Jake is just eating some sort of tortilla.]
Princess Bubblegum: It's time for the raffle. And the winner is.... Finn.
Finn: Whoa, cool.
Princess Bubblegum: [Takes out prize] Congrats, Finn, you won a... Sea Lard. [Hands it to Finn.] Here you go.
Finn: Awesome.
Jake: [Laughs] You won a sea lard, that donks — [An arrow lands on Jake's head.] Ah!!!
[Everyone turns to see an enraged squirrel whose mouth is foaming and is holding a bow.]
Squirrel: YOU SON OF A BLEE-BLOB!!!! [Foaming at the mouth] Jaaaaake!!!
Jake: Heeey, yooou...

Episode ends