This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Reign of Gunters" from season 4, which aired on October 8, 2012.

This transcript is complete.


[The episode begins in Ice King's castle. Clothing is all over the floor and Ice King's dresser drawers are open. Gunter is standing nearby.]
Ice King: Ach! Where the turd is my Demonic Wishing Eye?! Grrrr... [kicks clothing] I've looked everywhere! Ugh...
Gunter: Wenk!
Ice King: What is it, girl?
Gunter: Wenk. [Points off screen]
Ice King: You know where it is? Lead the way! Oh boy, this is just wonderful! [Gunter leads him to a brush on a table. Ice King shrugs.] Hmnh. [Gunter gestures to brush] Agh! You just want me to brush you! You know this brush is for princesses only? [Ice King picks off a piece of bubblegum from the brush and sniffs it] Ah, princesses only. No Gunthers!
[Gunter covers his head]
Ice King: [Starts pacing] What are my options here? Hmm. Hm-hm. [Walks into Gunter] Gunther! What is your damage today? [Gets an idea] Ooh! Wizard market! [Flies over to his computer and starts typing] W-I-Z-...
[Ice King types out the rest of WIZARD MARKET. Magic Wishing Eye is shown onscreen. Gunter blocks the light to the holographic screen.]
Ice King: Hey! [Gunter blocks the light with his fin again] You're really peeving me off, Gunther! Go stand in the corner!
[Gunter jumps off the computer desk and slides into the corner, belly down.]
Ice King: I said stand in the corner.
[Gunter scoots himself up the wall a bit, still partially lying down]
Ice King: Ugh. You make me sick. [Flies toward the entrance of the castle] Try not to break anything while I'm gone.
[Ice King flies out. Gunter sheds a tear, walks over to the entrance, and squints while watching Ice King fly away. Gunter walks over to the refrigerator, opens it, and starts breaking the bottles inside. After realizing that there are none left to break, Gunter slides over to a chair and pulls the lever for the foot rest, revealing a compartment. In it is Kitten, whom Gunter brings out, and a box, which Gunter opens. Inside is the Demonic Wishing Eye, which Gunter dons.]
[The scene changes to inside the Tree Fort, where Finn wakes up to find a green penguin on his stomach.]
Finn: [Sitting up] Gunther? [Penguin shakes its head] Uhhh... [more penguins surround him] Jake? We gots penguins.
Jake: [Snores, wakes up] Hm-huh? Hmm? Oh, yeah... [hugs one in his bed] thanks...
Finn: Come on, you guys! Get off me, now. [Arms raised] Wah! Wah! Grah!
Penguins: [Changing to look like Finn and grabbing his arms] Wah! Wah! Grah!
Finn: Jake?
Jake: Huh? [Penguins grab him, Jake grunts] Hey! [Jake grows huge, knocking the penguins off of him] Now shoo, ya little creeps! [Penguins grow to the same size as Jake] Oh... this is unusual.
[Finn gasps for air as he escapes from under a giant penguin. The penguins start slapping and pommeling Jake. Finn jumps on top of one's head and Finn and Jake start punching them. They fall downstairs into the living room with the penguins still on top of them. The penguins continue slapping them.]
Finn: [In between slaps] Glip... driggle!
Jake: [Struggling with a penguin] Eh... What's with these super penguins?
Finn: [Punching a penguin] I don't know! I'm guessing it's the Ice King.
Jake: [Getting slapped] Well, where is he, then?
Finn: ICE KIIIIING! [Penguin slaps him]
[Scene changes, showing Ice King flying in a canyon toward a wall.]
Ice King: Wizards rule.
[The wall disappears, revealing Wizard City. Ice King lands near a shop.]
Ice King: [Humming to himself] Doot-doo, deet-dee-doo. Ah, let's see. [Looks at sign above shop door, says to himself:] That's the symbol for magic items, right? [To Huntress Wizard standing nearby] Hey, this is the magic items shop, right?
Huntress Wizard: What's it look like, ya donk?
Ice King: I know that, I know! Why can't they write it on the sign, though? Why's it all gotta be secret? Let's just put it all out there, huh? Equal distribution of magic to the people! [Chanting] No more symbols! No more initiations! [Normal voice] Ya feelin' me, Huntress Wizard?
Huntress Wizard: [Playing with an arrow] You tryin' to get killed, Ice King?
Ice King: Uh-uh, I was just steppin' to ya, girl, with my intellectual wizard politics. [Huntress Wizard walks off. Ice King whispers] No, don't go. [Normal voice] Well, "Swing at every ball," that's what Jay T. Doggzone says. [Enters shop, walks down corridor] Hello?
Bufo: ...So then he was telling me to beef in the eye of Glob and stuff.
Laser Wizard: Whoa. Did you do it?
Bufo: Heck yes, I did.
Forest Wizard: Yo, I wouldn't do that.
Laser Wizard: Get over it, man. Don't you want to reach the highest initiation of the secret schools?
Forest Wizard: Of course, man. In shadow, we find the light... [Other wizards join in, chanting] safely sealed in darkest night. So make sure y'all keep it tight. Wizards only, fools.
Ice King: [Entering room] Keep what tight?
Laser Wizard: A secret you never should've heard, Ice King.
Ice King: [Wizards advance toward him] Yo. Guys. Chill. I lost my Demonic Wishing Eye. [Ice King backs up] Just get me a new one and I'll jet. I didn't hear nothin' about no weird, secret wizard club that I want to be a part of.
Forest Wizard: [Charging up magic] Loose lips sink the ships, Ice King.
Bufo: Sorry, man. [Charges up] Nothing personal.
Ice King: Oh, slid— [Bufo shoots at him] You guys! [Shoots ice at the wizards] Ah! [Forest Wizard shoots branches at him] Whoa!
[Scene changes back to Tree Fort, where several penguins are sitting on Jake.]
Jake: [Being crushed] Okay, I give up.
[Gunter opens the door, levitating with the Demonic Wishing Eye. Kitten is strapped to his back.]
Finn & Jake: Gunther?!
Jake: [Sees Demonic Wishing Eye] Nice ice!
Finn: What's goin' on here, man? Call off your super bros.
[Gunter stops levitating and knocks some bottles off a shelf. They shatter on the floor.]
Jake: [Sarcastically] Well, that's great.
Finn: Where's the Ice King, Gunther? [Gunter levitates out the door] Gunther?! What? Alright. [Penguins follow Gunter] Whoa!
[Finn and Jake run outside, finding hundreds of penguins scattered around their fort.]
Finn & Jake: WHAAAA!
Finn: Is this happening everywhere?
Jake: I don't know—lemme see. [Stretches his arm inside and upstairs and brings down a telescope] Whoop! [Looks into telescope] Dang!
Finn: What do ya see?
Jake: Hold on. [Looks in another direction] Oh no! NO!
Finn: What, dude?!
Jake: [Looks in another direction] Hold on, man. Wait. Oh, Glob! This can't be happening!
Finn: [Kicks Jake over] Tell me!
Jake: Eh, it's over. We've been conquered.
Finn: Who's been conquered?
Jake: Everyone.
Finn: [Scratching head] By the Ice King?
Jake: No, dude! By Gunther.
Finn: Holy shmow! Gimme that! [Grabs telescope, looks through it, gasps as he sees Gunter floating toward the Candy Kingdom] Gunther's heading for the Candy Kingdom! We gotta save them! [Breaks telescope in two]
Jake: [Finn jumps on him, Jake grows big] Whoa, okay. [Starts running toward the Candy Kingdom]
Finn: Hurry, Jake! Wait—I'm still in my pajayjays.
[Jake turns around and the scene changes to Finn wearing his normal outfit. Finn is riding on Jake, who is running towards the Candy Kingdom. Finn whips out a holographic tablet phone and calls a number.]
Princess Bubblegum: Yo, Finn, are you seeing these penguins?
Finn: Yeah, it's Gunther! He's taking over the whole thing!
Princess Bubblegum: Well, he'll have to beat my Banana Guards and my Gumball Guardians.
Jake: That's not gonna work.
Princess Bubblegum: What did he say?
Finn: He says your plan is bunk.
Princess Bubblegum: Well, what's your plan?
Finn: I got a plan.
Princess Bubblegum: You do?
Finn: When we get there, I'll do my plan in addition to your plan. Two plans. Laters.
Princess Bubblegum: Uh, alright, so you're not gonna tell me your—
Finn: [Hangs up] I'm outies!
Jake: You're not gonna tell her the plan?
Finn: No, I gotta be mysterious.
Jake: What? I thought you weren't into Bubblegum anymore.
Finn: I'm not. But this is how I act now with all the ladies, you see? I keep 'em in a state of confusion. That way, I've always got options in case Flame Princess doesn't work out.
Jake: OH MY GOSH! Where is this coming from?!
Finn: It's called "future farming." I read it in that book you have by Jay T. Doggzone.
Jake: Jay T. Dogg—awww, dude! Don't read that book! It's gonna mess up your brain. I keep that book around for laughs. It's all really bad advice.
Finn: Oh, okay. I'll stop it, then.
Jake: No, well... you can still be mysterious—that's fine.
Finn: What? Now I'm confused.
Jake: [Arriving at the Candy Kingdom] Never mind—I didn't say nothin'.
Finn: Hey P-Bubs! Are you ready?
Princess Bubblegum: Yes. The calvary [sic] is standing by.
Finn: Cool. I'm gonna rally some citizens and do this other plan.
Princess Bubblegum: Okay, but what—?
Finn: [Walking off] Good luck!
Princess Bubblegum: Jake, what's with all the mystery?
Jake: Uhhh... [Snaps] Oh snap, look out!
[A wave of penguins formed into unicorns is seen charging toward them.]
Princess Bubblegum: Banana Guards, defend!
[Banana Guards charge out on pink jellybeans. The penguins run them over.]
Princess Bubblegum: Aw, jeez.
Gumball Guardian: [Rising] Evil presence detected. Must defend candy. Dange—[a mass of penguins formed to make a giant knocks him down] aaah!
[Gunter floats toward the Candy Kingdom, several penguins follow while quacking.]
Princess Bubblegum: You'll never get past these walls... I think.
[Kitten flies into the air and floats over the walls while shooting fireballs, knocking a hole in the wall.]
[Gunter walks into the Candy Kingdom and coughs as the smoke clears. He rubs his eyes and sees a pile of hundreds of glass bottles.]
Finn: [Standing by bottles] This... is my plan. I got the Candy Kingdom underground to help me collect all the bottles in the land.
[Gunter starts smashing bottles. Shards of glass shower everywhere.]
Jake: Breaking news: that mystery plan of yours is a smash hit. [Laughs stupidly] Because the—of the glass... I guess all they care about is bottles, huh.
Princess Bubblegum: But what'll happen when they run out of bottles?
Finn: I won't let that happen, Prubbs.
[Smashing sounds stop. The pile of bottles is now a pile of broken glass. Gunter looks around and doesn't see any more bottles.]
Gunter: [Sustaining note] We-e-e-e-e-enk...
[Other penguins quack the same way and they advance on Finn, Jake, and Princess Bubblegum.]
Finn: Stay back! [Unsheathes sword]
[Demonic Wishing Eye glows, other penguins take out swords from their beaks and start waving them.]
Princess Bubblegum: Wait a minute! [Penguins stop quacking] Put away your weapons and we'll get you more bottles.
Finn: Peeb! There aren't any bottles left!
Princess Bubblegum: I have a third plan.
[Scene changes, showing Finn, Jake, and Princess Bubblegum picking up the shards from the broken bottles and reassembling them.]
Jake: So, we make them new bottles. Then the Gunthers break the bottles, and then we pick up the glass and make new bottles again?
Princess Bubblegum: Yup.
Finn: What, like, forever?
Princess Bubblegum: Yes.
Finn: Bubb, your plan... bunks.
Princess Bubblegum: Heh, yeah.
Jake: I like it. I got a rhythm goin'! [Says 'tink' as he reassembles each piece of a bottle]
Gunter: [Points to upwards] Wenk!
Princess Bubblegum: [Gumball Guardians are seen standing behind Princess Bubblegum, subdued by penguin giants] What? What do you want? I don't—
Finn: He wants to smash the Gumball Guardian's head!
Princess Bubblegum: We're going to make more bottles. Just wait, okay?
[Gunter uses the Demonic Wishing Eye to make the penguin giants push the Gumball Guardians downward.]
Finn, Jake, and Princess Bubblegum: NO!
Gumball Guardian: [On ground] Goodbye... Princess!
[Gunter walks up and taps on the Gumball Guardian's head. It cracks a little. Ice King flies in.]
Ice King: Hey. What's goin' on here? Why's this place all crazy? I was just flying by and— [sees Gunter, gasps] Gunther! You took my stuff!
Gunter: Wenk.
Ice King: That's bad. You know what you get now?!
Gunter: [Sadly] Wenk.
Ice King: That's right, you get the squirty-squirts. [Squirts spray bottle at Gunter] Bad, bad. Now take off my Demonic Wishing Eye.
[Gunter takes off the Demonic Wishing Eye and the other penguins disappear.]
Ice King: Alright, Gunther. Now go home.
Gunter: [Walks off] Wenk.
Ice King: That's right, walk. And while you're walking home, you think about what you did. [Sighs] It's getting worse and worse with him. He just—he hates it when I leave the castle. I'm sorry, guys.
Jake: Uh, dude? Where have you been?
Finn: Yeah, and why are you all jacked up?
Ice King: Heh... well, I got into some crazy wiz biz over in Wizard City. Honestly, I don't even know how I survived. Basically, it was the craziest showdown ever. I—[catches himself] I wish I could tell you all about it, but you know—"Wizards only, fools." Keep it tight.

Episode ends