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Slow Love/Transcript

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This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Slow Love" from season 2, which aired on November 15, 2010.

Characters
Finn
Jake
BMO
Snorlock
Snail Ladies
Music
None
This transcript is complete.

Transcript

[The episode begins in the Tree Fort. Finn is reading The Ooo Review and Jake is trying to play a game on BMO, who is playing up-tempo electronic music and dancing.]
Jake: BMO, turn the music down. BMO! Turn it down!
BMO: [Increases volume.]
Jake: [Groans] Come on, BMO you're messing up my game!
BMO: [Continues dancing]
Jake: Hey, dude, can I borrow that paper?
Finn: Mm-hmm.
Jake: [Whistles; rolls up paper; hits BMO with it] Bad computer! No! No! [Music stops.] Now go sit in the corner and think about your life.
[BMO goes to corner and sits. Suddenly, a giant snail bursts through the wall.]
Snorlock: [Roars]
Finn & Jake: Snail attack!
[They are rammed against the far wall.]
Finn & Jake: Aaaaaah! Oof!
Snorlock: [Crying and squirting fluids on Finn & Jake who are both coughing and gagging]
Finn: Oh, sick!
Jake: Ugh!
Finn: Dude, how do you fight a snail?!
Jake: Hold on! [Stretches his arm and grabs a saltshaker] I got this! [Grunts, brandishes saltshaker] Don't make me use this, man!
Snorlock: Salt?! But I heard you guys were heroes.
Finn: We are heroes. We thought you were trying to attack us. Why'd you break in here all mad, squirting that juice all over us?
Snorlock: It's not mad juice. It's sad juice. My name's Snorlock, and I'm sa-a-a-a-d! [Sobbing]
Finn: Stop squirting slime! Just tell us what's wrong!
Snorlock: I need a girlfriend. I have no one to love.
Finn: Jake, hero huddle. [They huddle] What do you think?
Jake: I think our house is all jacked up.
Finn: Yeah, but he's just an innocent goober looking for love.
Jake: Yeah. Okay, let's help him. But he's got to lay off the house.
Finn: Right! All right, man. We'll help you hook up as long as you—
[Snorlock bursts through the wall.]
Snorlock: Yay!
Finn & Jake: Whoa! Aaah!
[Finn & Jake climb to observation boat.]
Jake: Lay off the house, man!
Snorlock: [Sadly] You guys... won't help me? [Whimpers]
Finn: All right! all right! We'll help you, dude! Just put our house back!
Snorlock: Okay! Right after I get a girlfriend.
Finn: Aw! All right, you big crazy. It's a deal.
Snorlock: [Giggles]
Finn: Jake, what time is it?!
Jake: I don't know, but you're probably going to say...
Finn & Jake: Lady time! [LADY TIME screen card; Wolf whistle]
Finn: Okay, Snorlock, if you want a lady, you have to be yourself.
Snorlock: How do I be myself?
Finn: Uh, how does he be himself, Jake?
Jake: Just do whatever you want, man, as long as it comes from the inside.
Snorlock: Like sad juice?
Finn & Jake: No!
Jake: You keep that stuff inside you, brother. You just got to talk to 'em.
Snorlock: Oh. I never done that.
Jake: Finn, you see any hot mamas?
Finn: [Looks through telescope] Ummm... Baaaaaam!
Jake: Go talk to her!
Snorlock: Uhmm...
Jake: Go talk to her!
Snorlock: [Sighs] Okay.
[Snorlock approaches Snail Lady.]
Snail Lady #1: Oh! [See's Snorlock and inhales gut] Hello.
Snorlock: Hi.
Snail Lady: Mm. You seem like a reasonable male. We should go to a movie sometime.
Jake: He's got this.
Finn: Yeah.
Snorlock: [Getting nervous] Uhh...
Snail Lady #1: I like old movies. [Chuckles]
Snorlock: Uh..uh uh...
Snail Lady #1: Um, are you okay?
Snorlock: [Screaming] Aaaaaaaaah! Girlfriend! Girlfriend!
Finn & Jake: Aaah!
[Scene: inside of shaking house, objects are falling and breaking.]
Snorlock: Girlfriend! Girlfriend! Girlfriend! Girlfriend! Girlfriend! Girlfriend!
[Snail Lady quickly retreats.]
Finn: Dude! our house! We got to do something!
Jake: Relax. I got it. Snorlock! Hey, Snorlock. You okay, buddy? Went a little nuts there, guy. You got to get that under control, 'cause you're scaring ladies and jacking up our house.
Snorlock: I'm sorry. Are you gonna leave me?
Jake: Aw, who could leave you? Come here, you big hot mess. [Hugs]
Finn: Break it up, you two! We have ladies to attend to!
Jake: Yeah, the ladies.
Snorlock: Talking to ladies is hard.
Jake: No, it's not. Check it out, Snorlock. Finn, you be the guy snail, and I'll be... [Shifts to appear like a lady snail] the chick snail.
Finn: Ugh! gross, Jake!
Jake: Come on, man. We're just pretending. Do it for love.
Snorlock: [Whimpering]
Finn: Okay. I'll do it for this guy.
Snorlock: [Gasps happily]
Finn: [Clears throat] What's up, lady snail?
Jake: [High-pitched voice] Well, I'm just sitting here thinking about mating with snails.
Finn: No! I can't do this, man! I-am-out!
Snorlock: I'll mate with you.
Jake: [Normal voice] We're just role-playing, buddy.
Snorlock: Aww.
Jake: Here, Finn. This time you be the chick and I'll be the snail dude.
Jake: [Shifts into Guy Snail; flexes pecs] Hey, baby. What's up?
Finn: Uh... WHA!
Jake: Mm-mmm! [Sniffs Finn's hand] mm-mmm! [Deep voice] Girl, you smell good. Did you take a bath in rainbows and cupcakes?
Finn: [Growing more uneasy]
Jake: Say "yes"! [High-pitched voice] Say "Yes"! [Deep voice] Say "YES"! [High-pitched voice] Say "Yes"!
Finn: Okay! Yes!
Jake: [Normal voice] See, Snorlock? Talking to ladies is easy. Just act like me.
[Snorlock approaches another Lady Snail]
Snorlock: Uh... girl, you smell good.
Snail Lady #2: You can smell me?
[Snorlock nervously looks to Finn & Jake, who give thumbs up.]
Snorlock: May I smell you more?
Snail Lady #2: Uh, okay.
Snorlock: [Sniffs] Cupcakes...
Snail Lady #2: Uh, I have to go.
Snorlock: Did you take a bath?
Snail Lady #2: Don't ever talk to me again.
Snorlock: Please don't go! Don't go! Aww.
Jake: Aw, it's okay, buddy. Come here and give us a hug.
Snorlock: Man, I wish you guys were ladies.
Finn: Uhh.
Jake: Stay focused, Snorlock. You have any cool talents that ladies might like?
Snorlock: No.
Jake: Umm, hey, Finn, teach him how to use swords. The princesses always love this one.
Finn: [Preforms stabbing motions and flips] Yah! yah! yah! yah! Yaaaah! hyah!
Jake: Do you think you can do that, Snorlock?
Snorlock: I don't know.
Jake: Hmm. Maybe you're musical. Can you do this? [Inhales deeply, begins beatboxing] Try doin' all that.
Snorlock: Hmm. [Grunts, grows arms, grabs the swords then begins beatboxing and twirling swords]
Finn & Jake : Whoo-hoo! yeah!
Snail Lady #3: My word, Eleanor! What is that alluring sound?
Eleanor: I have no idea.
Jake: Yeah, Snorlock! Show us that talent!
Finn: Whoo-hoo!
[A herd rushes over in the trio's direction.]
Snail Ladies: Oh, my! What is that? What is that wonderful sound? Do I see swords?
Finn: Jake, these chicks look pretty serious.
Jake: Let's just let Snorlock do his thing. Go to it, buddy! [Grabs Finn and sits on top of observatory boat]
Snail Ladies: [Snorlock beatboxing continues] Ahh! Ooh! Ahh.
Jake: Look at him go! Bringing in the ladies.
Finn: Uh, he's bringing in a lot of ladies.
Snail Ladies: [Crowding around Snorlock and begin grinding on him] Mm!
[Scene: inside of shaking house, objects are falling and breaking, BMO is sliding around.]
Finn & Jake: [Both screaming]
Finn: Snorlock! These ladies are ruining our tree house! Stop!
[Snorlock continues beatboxing as the Snail Ladies kiss him.]
[The continuous grinding wrecks the house even more.]
Finn & Jake: Whoa!
Jake: Wedge, dude!
Finn: [Grunting] [Sticks sword into house's top to pull it off Snorlock]
Jake: [Grunting] It's no use, man. It's stuck with snail slime.
Finn: [Gets shoved back and forth between the Snail Ladies]
Jake: Finn! Aah! [Also gets shoved back and forth between the Snail Ladies]
[Finn & Jake land hard on the ground and then stand up.]
Finn: How are we gonna get our house back?
Jake: [Jake flashes back to the salt shaker, cue Snorlock yelling "Salt!"] Dude, I'm going in.
Finn: Wha? Jake! No! You'll get slimed or grinded on!
Jake: [Runs and then jumps into the house window] Hmph!
[He grabs the salt shaker and dives back outside to a waiting Finn.]
Finn: [Gasps as he sees what Jake has] [Nods]
Jake: Snorlock, I'm gonna give you till the count of three, mister!
[Snorlock continues.]
Jake: One, two, three!
[Snorlock continues.]
Jake: Fine. I didn't want to have to do this. [Taps out a single grain of salt onto his palm] [Inhales deeply and then blows it in Snorlock's direction]
[The beatboxing slows as the salt approaches. Snorlock spots it and the beatboxing stops. The grain lands and leaves a huge burn mark.]
Snorlock: Aaaaaah! [Bucks the house off his back] Ow! ow! Owwwwwww!
Snail Lady #4: Oh, my gosh! He's naked!
Snail Ladies: [Laughter]
Snorlock: What? I'm naked? But I've never had a shell.
Jake: Snorlock, you never a shell? That means you're not naked. You're a slug!
Snorlock: Me, a slug?
Finn: Yeah, man. That's why you have trouble with snail chicks. You need slug chicks.
Snorlock: [Pouting] I don't known any slug chicks.
Slug Lady: Actually, I-I'm not really a snail. I'm a slug. My shell's made of peppermint.
Snorlock: [Laughs happily]
[Scene: Snorlock and Slug Lady smooching]
Finn: That's gross!
Jake: I don't know why they have to make out so close to our house.
Finn: I don't know. Come on, let's finish rebuilding it. I got some ear plugs you can borrow.
[Up-tempo electronic music plays]
Finn: Where's that music coming from?
BMO: [Watching the two slugs] Go! go! go! go!
Finn: BMO! Get over here and help us rebuild the tree house.
Jake: Yeah. You live here, too!
BMO: [Increases volume]
Finn & Jake: Oh, BMO!
[Suddenly slime sprays all over BMO]
[Episode ends]

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