This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "The Diary" from season 6, which aired on February 26, 2015.

This transcript is incomplete.


[In Lady Rainicorn's house, T.V. is playing a computer game. Jake and Lady Rainicorn are in the loft.]
Lady Rainicorn: [sighs] 나 정말 TV 걱정되네. 쟤는 밖에 절대 안 나가잖아. (I'm really worried about T.V. You know, he never leaves home.)
Jake: Aw, don't worry about him. It's good to be passionate about your hobbies.
Lady Rainicorn: 으유, 몰라, 난 싫어. 쟨 밖에 나가서 찬 공기 좀 쐬야 돼. (Ugh, I don't know, I don't like it. He really needs some fresh air.)
Jake: Yo, T.V.! Get me a chocolate bar!
T.V.: Okay [leaves]
Jake: Attaboy!
[Outside, T.V. is walking along a path.]
T.V.: Ah!
Old Pizza Person: Hello, young man!
[T.V. teleports away.]
Old Pizza Person: [disappointed] Oh.
T.V.: [approaching Candy Kingdom] Psych. Delicious chocolate bridge... [pulls out a brick] Ugh! [falls in chocolate puddle] Yuch. Huh?
[In front of him is a book in a sealed plastic bag with "Diary" written on the cover. T.V. takes the book out of its bag and opens it to the first page.]
T.V.: [reading] This diary belongs to B.P. Private property. [turns page] If you're stilling reading this, you're a bad person. [stops reading] Uh... statute of limitations. [continues reading]
B.P. [voiceover]: Dear diary. Wow. I sound like a real cornball. Oh, well. Dear diary! Mom is going to love you. She's always ragging about me spending too much time with my nose in books. I wonder what I'm going to write in you. What kind of person will I be when I get to your last page? Will I have my braces off? Will I have written a song that doesn't totally suck? Will I have met a cool guy? I can barely look at dudes without breaking out into hives. Just another day in teenage purgatory, AKA the school caf. Sloppy joes again. Boys I did not talk to today—Brownieguy... are they trying to kill us? Stayed in and tried to cut my bangs... Ruffles, Brian, Pennycandy guy... Mom says it looks like I got in a fight with a snapping turtle. Taffi and Mochi are the coolest girls at school. When I think about them, my skin feels sparkly. They don't even know I exist. Why would they? I'm a nobody. Less than nobody. I'm a pimple on the butt of a—
T.V.: Geez, B.P... Prone to dramatics much?
B.P. [voiceover]: The Fire Kingdom has officially frozen over. Justin Rockcandy asked me to the semi-formal!
T.V.: Oh, my glob.
B.P. [voiceover]: Just... Justin is taking me to the Fructose Fair... Justin... Justin wants to go on the rollercoas... Kissing is fun and easy. If I don't think about the bacteria and spit, teeming, multiplying... Diary, can you keep a secret?... Justin!... Justin... hive of bees in my head, get out... Mother, I'm not going to tell you again... Diary, it's my birthday tomorrow, but I don't feel like celebrating. I feel like screaming. [turns page] Justin wants to meet at Lovetree Point. Says he wants to give me a present. I should tell him; I need to tell him. I will tell him!
T.V.: [Gasps, sees the next five pages torn out] Tell him what? Uuuuuugh!
[Morning now, scene opens on Lady Rainicorn making eggs, wearing a white apron. Jake is sitting at the table.]
Lady Rainicorn: (TV! Breakfast!)
T.V.: Not huns. [grabs an apple from a bowl on the counter] Heading out for a bit.
Lady Rainicorn: (Look at him!)
Jake: There you go, just need a little push from the old man. [coughs]
T.V.: [Returns to place where he found the diary under the chocolate bridge.] I gotta get into the mind of this kid. [opens diary] Roleplay. [pretends he is B.P., starts pretending to rip pages out of diary] Rip, rip! [pretends to throw diary] Ahh! Sploosh! My secret is safe at the bottom of this disgusting moat. [turns around, pretending to be another person talking to B.P.] Oh, B.P., what have you done? [as B.P.] I'm sick of the lies. Sick, sick, sick! [a candy child and their parent start to watch T.V.'s roleplaying from the bridge for a second, and then the parent pulls the child along. T.V. as other person] Uh, babe, I said I'm sorry? [as B.P.] You don't know me. Nobody knows me, leave me alone! [The rose on the front of the diary flies away, and the diary turns into a Sloppy Joe.] I hate Sloppy Joes!
[The scenery around T.V. washes away and shows him sitting on a graffitied rollercoaster marked "BP". The rollercoaster flies off a ramp and falls into a moat with a chocolate bridge above it. T.V. surfaces, gasping for air.
T.V.: Yuck.

Taffi and Mochi emerge from the moat]

T.V.: Taffi? Mochi!

Lady rainicorn: TV가 걱정되서. 얘가 하루 종일 밖에 나가 있잖아. [TV ga keokjeong-dweseo . yae-ga haru jong-il bakke naga i-chana]

I’m worried about T.V. He’s been outside for all day.

Lady rainicorn:너무 어두워지네. 가서 애 뭐 하나 좀 봐. [neo-mu eo-duweo-jine . ka-seo ae mweo hana jom bwa]

It’s getting too dark. Go see what he’s doing.

Lady rainicorn:어으, 놀고들 있네. [eo-eu . nolgo deul inne]

(disturbed) Ugh, what are they doing?