This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "The Empress Eyes" from season 7, which aired on November 17, 2015.

This transcript is incomplete.


[In the Ice Kingdom, Ice King is snoring and muttering in his sleep.]
Ice King: Una—[snorts] unacceptable. Mm... un-unacceptable. Unaccepta—aah! [wakes up] Lemons! Whew! Mm.
[The sound of light footsteps is heard.]
Ice King: Gunter? Y-you having a bad dream? Gunter?
[Footprints approach his bed.]
Ice King: Oh, my Glob. [breathes heavily]
[The footprints stop beside his bed. The Empress reveals herself.]
Empress: Hello, Simon.
Ice King: [screams] Oh, lady! Hi.
Empress: Wait, you don't remember me?
Ice King: Oh, man. I'm so sorry. I stalk a lot of ladies. Were you at Shelby's barbecue?
Empress: Huh. Looks like you've lost it all the way. You've crossed the valley of tears and come out the other side but a shadow.
Ice King: Oh, thanks.
Empress: Well, all the better for you to... [leans in] submit.
Ice King: I like where this is going.
Empress: Don't resist.
[The snake coiled around her neck slithers up above her head and flicks its tongue. Ice King smooches the air, but stops when he sees the snake. The snake lifts the veil from over The Empress's eyes. She opens them and begins hypnotizing.]
Empress: Sell your spirit to the skies. Surrender to The Empress eyes.
[Ice King's eyes turn purple. He slumps over. The Empress snaps her fingers, and he jerks upright.]
Ice King: Empress, my darling! My great eternal love! How can I serve you?
Empress: [slaps Ice King's hands away] Bring me blood.
Ice King: At once! [jumps out of bed]
[A group of penguins are playing cards.]
Ice King: Alley-oop! [scoops up an armful of penguins]
Penguin: [tosses hand aside] Wenk-wenk!
[The penguin jumps onto the pot of fish. The other penguins clap.]
Empress: [reading Ice King's diary and laughing] Oh, this is so sad.
Ice King: Here you go, my love.
Empress: What's this? Don't you have any human?
Ice King: Humans? Well, Finn's the only human around here. Try a penguin. [squeezes it]
Penguin: Wenk!
Empress: Ugh. [takes it]
Ice King: You know, Empress is a kind of penguin, and your name is Empress. That's kind of cool, right?
Empress: [bites penguin, then immediately tosses it aside] Bleh. Tastes like cheese water. Where's the top-drawer stuff?
Ice King: Oh, uh, don't be like that, Honey-poo. I'll fix it. I'll do anything for you.
Empress: Bring me the blood of Finn!
Ice King: Okay.