This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "The Pit" from season 5, which aired on November 18, 2013.

This transcript is complete.


[Kee-Oth flying to his Broke-up Dimension, carrying Jake.]
Kee-Oth: [laughs] Your butt is mine, Joshua.
Jake: What? My butt? Weird. Where are we?
Kee-Oth: This is my yoga room. And this is your new home. [Throws Jake into a pit.] Downward, dog!
Jake: Ouch!
Kee-Oth: Welcome to revenge, Joshua. You'll never see your loved ones again. Everything you need for survival is booby-trapped!
[Camera pans to show drinking water and a toilet, surrounded by an electric barrier]
Jake: Hmm.
Kee-Oth: Now I'm gonna gank your blood the way you ganked mine.
[Kee-Oth steals Jake's blood, which turns into a hat]
Kee-Oth: Boo-yeah! How does it feel, dog? How does it feel that I've juiced your body and turned your blood into man dazzle?
Jake: Hmm. Not that great. I feel weird in my skin.
Kee-Oth: [laughs] Wait. Is that it?
Jake: Yeah... but I could get used to this.
Kee-Oth: What? No! You have to suffer.
Jake: Okay.
Kee-Oth: No "okay." When I say something, you're supposed to disagree! Okay?
Jake: Okay.
Kee-Oth: [groans] Sheesh. You're causing tension in my neck and shoulders. I'm gonna go stretch it out. You stay here and suffer.
Jake: Okay.
[The camera goes to the tree house]
Finn: Jake? [Holds up the broken demon sword] Drat! Hmmmmmmm. [Looks around] Ah! [Puts the broken sword on his head and gets A phone and dials]
Lady: 여보세요? (Hello?)
Finn: Hey, Lady. Listen. Your husband got abducted by Kee-Oth the demon.
Lady: 누구? Jake? (Who are you talking about? Jake?)
Finn: Yeah, your hubby - your boyfriend or whatever.
Lady: 어머, 뭔 소리야! 걔 내 남자친구잖아! 왜 자꾸 우리 사이를 이상한 쪽으로 몰고 가려고 그래? (Oh, what are you talking about! He's my boyfriend! Why are you keep assuming my relationship between Jake weirdly!)
Finn: Yo, my Korean is not that good. Can you just get over here? We need to find a way to Kee-Oth's dimension 십시요..
Lady: [searches through video tapes] 아! 맞아. 내가 도움 될 만한 거 가지고 있어! (Oh, right! I got something that can be helpful!)
Finn: Alright. That sounds...affirmative. See you soon. Bye. [hangs up and puts away phone, then sits on treehouse floor and closes eyes]
[Camera returns to the pit where Jake sits alone on a rock]
Jake: [hums, begins singing] Broke-up dimension, you're breakin' my heart. I'm lookin' for broke-up girl to break me apart. [stops singing] Just kiddin'. I got a girl! [snaps fingers and produces image of Lady in hand] Lady Rainicorn, yeah! Hmm, that don't look right. [adds mane to image] That's better. [kisses image]
Little Buddy: [off-screen] Excuse me?
Jake: Hmm?
Little Buddy: Down here. Hi!
Jake: [looks down at his seat] Oh my fun. I thought you was a rock.
Little Buddy: I'm not a rock. I'm a Little Buddy. Can you get off me, please?
Jake: Whoops! [gets up] Sorry.
Little Buddy: [stands and begins walking] It's okay.
Jake: Cool. You wanna be friends?
Little Buddy: I'd like that. I've never had a friend.
Jake: Whoa. Seriously?
Little Buddy: My species spends its first twelve years sleeping. I just woke up today! [walks into electric barrier and explodes, leaving shell rolling towards Jake]
Jake: [looks into empty shell] Hello? [sadly realizes it's empty] I'm just gonna pretend you're sleeping. [turns over shell and sits on it, frowning]
[Camera returns to the treehouse, where Finn and BMO sit on the floor, eyes closed]
Finn: [opens eyes] Whoop! She's here.
BMO: I thought my body was hopping up and down. But I was sitting still.
Lady: [flies in and hands Finn a video tape]가지고 왔어! (I've got it!)
Finn: What is it, Lady?
Lady: 옛날에 조슈아가 만든 테잎이야. 제이크가 그 위에 그냥 녹음해버려서 기억하고 있어. 그 앞쪽은 보지 말고 그냥 빨리 돌려! (It's a video tape that was made by Joshua long ago. I remembered it because Jake recorded something else on top of it. Just skip past the front section!)
Finn: What?
Lady: 앞쪽 보지 말고 그냥 빨리 달.. 돌리라구. (Just skip the front section of the tape.)
Finn: Eh, something skip? I don't know. Just play it, BMO.
[BMO begins playing the tape. An image of Joshua emerges]
Joshua: [on screen] Jake? Finn? Jermaine? Whoever is watching this?
Finn: Dad!
Joshua: [standing in front of a cave entrance] I just opened up an unexplored cavern deep in the underground grasslands complex. Please refer to my chart system, okay? I'm in cave 73H. In case I am overtaken by an enemy I need you to retrieve my corpse.
[Image on screen changes to Jake, lying on a living room floor in front of a lit fireplace]
Jake: [on screen] Hey, Lady. You asked me to make you a video.
Lady: [panicking] 돌려! 돌려!! (Skip!! Skip!!!)
Finn: BMO! Skip! [covers eyes] Skip!!
Jake: [on screen] ...saying JTD won't change his doggy ways.
[BMO begins fast forwarding. Finn looks at Lady, who shrugs and grins, embarrassed]
Finn: [to BMO] That should be good.
[BMO resumes the video]
Jake: [on screen] Okay, I love you girl. I hope you liked it. Bye! [kisses camera]
[Screen changes to show Joshua in the cavern, in front of a demonic altar]
Joshua: [on screen] Over here, you see, the second half of the tablet I believe. Now, if I put this together with mine, I should be able to create a portal to the demon Kee-Oth's dimension and trap him in a circle of holy water. Okay, here we go. [puts tablet pieces together] Perfect. Okay, let's see. [reading tablet] Kee-Oth zaple myrups pama...
[Screen skips forward]
Finn, Lady: [groan]
[Static ends, BMO and Shelby are visible on screen]
Jake: [On screen] Okay, this is scene one and take one of Heat Signature 2. Ready? Action!
BMO: Father, it has been a year since I was on the submarine, but, I still hear the screams! I was forced to choose; the lives of my men, or the entire planet! Tell me father, what would you do? I'm a mess, man!
[BMO falls onto the floor]
Shelby: Wait, what do I say? Mmmm, Check please-
Jake: No!
Finn: Hold on, BMO, I feel like we should watch more of this video for clues, but you gotta promise me that I'm not going to see more weird Jake stuff.
Lady: 더이상 제이크가 이상한 짓 하는 거 없을 거야. 진짜야! 그래도 내가 이 테잎 본 지 하도 오래 돼서 장담은 못 하겠네. 미안해. (I don't think there's any more weird Jake stuff. Really! But I can't promise anything, as I haven't seen this tape for years! Sorry for that.)
Finn: Okay, high-five! Play it, BMO!
[Jake appears in front of a shower, with a towel wrapped around him]
Jake: Hmm, guess what, Lady? This dirt dog needs a bath!
[Jake takes his towel off]
Jake: Wawoo!
Lady and Finn: [Screaming]
[The camera returns to the pit looking up at Kee-Oth]
Kee-Oth: [Screaming] This stinks!
Jake: What'a mean?
Kee-Oth: Come on, Joshua! Back in the old days, you would have been up here trying to take me apart!
Jake: Uh, what? That's my dad, Joshua, back in the old days.
[Cuts to Kee-Oth]
Jake: I'm his son, dude.
Kee-Oth: Shoot.
Kee-Oth: Where is he?
Jake: He's dead, dude. Don't make me get emotional about it.
Kee-Oth: Then why you being such a wimp then? Come on up here and beat on me like your dad would.
Jake: Okay, that's weird.
Kee-Oth: What's weird?
Jake: You want to get beat up? That's weird. I'm not doin' your weird biz.
[Jake sits down.]
Kee-Oth: You won't fight?!
Jake: Nope.
[Kee-Oth yells in frustration and walks away, as Jake laughs. Kee-Oth comes back to the pit, and throws Samantha in.]
Jake: What the—!
[Samantha yells as she falls into the pit, and lands on Jake. They fall on the ground, roll, and eventually stop.]
Samantha: Hi. I'm Samantha.
Jake: I'm Jay T.—the Dog. I'm Jake.
Kee-Oth: Only one can survive my pit! This bozo tried stealing my blood too! So youse better duke it out, and see who gets to live!
Samantha: But I haven't seen a man-dog in years! And now the universe has dropped one into my arms!
Jake: Whoa, lady, no way. This boy's got.
Samantha: But fate has brought us together! The stars have paired you with a goddess.
Jake: I like the way you talk, but you are crazy.
Kee-Oth: Kill or be killed, you two!
Samantha: Yes, if I'm so crazy, then let's fight!
Jake: [whispering] No, girl, we can bounce outta here. My friend Finn will save us any second now.
Samantha: I don't wait for rescue. I conquer till I am conquered. By love... or by the hand of an adversary.
Jake: Well, I guess we're gonna have to fight then.
[Samantha yells as she runs towards Jake, and tries to kick him. He dodges as Samantha punches him in the face. She grabs his head, and squishes it down, as Kee-Oth laughs. She throws Jake at a boulder and smashes another boulder into him.]
Kee-Oth: Okay, take your time. I gotta do my daily sun salutation.
[Cut back to Finn, Lady, and BMO. A video of Joshua and Kee-Oth is playing on BMO's screen.]
Kee-Oth: [grunts] Release me, Joshua! [grunts] I'll show you!
[Kee-Oth starts to suck Joshua's blood, but starts gagging.
Kee-Oth: Dude, your blood is harsh!
Joshua: That's because I've been drinking so much holy water. It's in my blood, sucka! And naturally, I gotta go to the bathroom like crazy. Be right back!
Kee-Oth: If I can't suck you, I'll suck myself's blood.
[He sucks his own blood and creates the Demon Blood Sword.]
Kee-Oth: Hehehe...Taste it, scrub! [Joshua runs back into the room and splashes his holy water on Kee-Oth.] AUGH!
Joshua: [Joshua picks up the sword.] Man, I can't believe it...I gotta wee-wee again!
[Beemo's screen turns to static and BMO ejects the tape.]
Beemo: Would you like to rate this video?
Finn: No time, Beemo. [Turns to Lady] Let's go find the cave from the video. Maybe we'll find more clues there.
[Transition to Lady and Finn walking to the cave.]
Lady: 잠깐! 내가 네 주위에 보호막 쳐야 돼! (Wait! I must cast a protective shield around you!)
[She makes a circle around Finn and bites on her tail.]
Lady: 됐다. 이제 가도 돼. (Done, now you're good to go.)
[Finn picks up two stone tablets and puts them together, reading the code written on them.]
Finn: Kee Oth Zaple Myrups Rama Mancakes?
[The tablets break into fourths as they fly into the air.]
Finn: Whoa.
[The cave shatters into glass, hurdling them towards the Broken Dimension. The tablets fall into Finn's hands.]
Finn: Jake? [He sees Kee-Oth doing his sun salutation.] Yeesh.
Kee-Oth: Eh?
Finn: Jake?
Jake: Finn, yes! Help me!
Lady: Jake! 왜 저 못생긴 지지배가 널 껴안고 있는거야! (Jake! Why is that ugly chick hugging you!)
Jake: This isn't hugging—it's fighting! Fighting!
Finn: Jake, what do I do? Should I kill him?
Kee-Oth: With what?
Finn: With this! [He pulls out a pink Demon Blood Sword out of his pack.]
Kee-Oth: Demon blood...
Finn: That's right! Demon blood beats demon!
Jake: No, that is not correct!
Kee-Oth: Hahahaha! Oh yeah! Gimme that blood, stupid!
[Kee-Oth starts sucking the blood from Finn.]]
Finn: Lady! Don't break the circle of protection!
Lady: 당연하지! (Of course I won't!)
Finn: [Kee-Oth continues to try to suck Finn's blood.] Aw geez, he's sucking my sword off its hilt!
Kee-Oth: Yeah, hahaha! Your circle can't stop my sucking! Now I have your demon blood as well!
Finn: Except it's not demon blood! It's a frozen grape juice that was blessed by the priest.
Finn: [Flashback to Finn grabbing the sword out of his freezer, and taking over to Shelby to "bless".] Bless this sword, fodder.
Shelby: Mmm, check please!
Finn: [He licks the sword.] Mmm, grape-y!
[Flash forward to the Broken Dimension.]
Kee-Oth: Wait... [His stomach starts rumbling.] Aaaaaah!
[Kee-Oth explodes and Jake gets his blood back. Jake then stretches out of the pit.]
Jake: My blood! Woo!
Samantha: Coward!
Jake: Woop! Hey, hey! Lady! [He walks over to Lady and gives her a hug.]
Finn: Let's go, bros!
Jake: Samantha, you can come too, I guess.
Samantha: Very well.
[The dimension glass breaks, reforming into Finn and Jake's home.]
Samantha: You've returned me to my world, so I recant my oath to destroy you.
Jake: You made an oath. Okay.
Samantha: [She starts walking out the door.] Let's fight again some time.
Jake: Nah, I'll just stretch into a tree.
Samantha: Hmm. Took you long enough to stretch outta that pit. [She runs off.]
Lady: 뭐, 뭐가 어떻게 된 거야? 너 저 여자한테 반한 거야 뭐야! (What is happening? Did you fall in love with that lady or what!)
Jake: Pshh, please! Not even.
Lady: 그럼 그 함정에서 왜 그렇게 오래 버티고 있었어? (Then why did you spend that long time in the pit?)
Jake: Uh, because... Kee-Oth was right there! An-and there were traps! I didn't have no blood this whole time, so I'm totally out of it. [He falls to the ground.]
Lady, Finn: Jake!
Jake: Woo...Sorry, I got a little light-headed.
Lady: 아, 이 말썽꾸러기. 사랑해 자기야. (Ah, you little troublemaker, I love you, honey.)
Jake: I love you too, Lady.
Finn: Yo, guys, I still love Flame Princess.
Jake: Okay, big hug!
Finn, Jake and Lady: Hug!
[The episode ends with a shot of the open door, as a leaf flies by.]