This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "The Pods" from season 2, which aired on January 31, 2011.

Mushroom Town
This transcript is complete.


[The episode begins with Jake running through a field while eating out of a bowl of ice cream with Finn in pursuit.]
Finn: Jake. Jake! [Catches up to him] Hey man, shouldn't we conserve our energy? The Ice Cream Marathon starts tomorrow.
Jake: [With mouth full] I know what the Ice Cream Marathon is. [Swallows ice cream] I've been training for weeks. And I am determined to eat more ice cream at the Ice Cream Marathon than anyone else!
Finn: You sure like ice cream.
Jake: Ice cream is good!
[Strange croaking noise is heard off screen]
Jake: What the croak was that?
Finn: It came from over there [points to his left].
[The two walk over to the source of the sound.]
Finn: Whoa, Jake! Check it out!
[A old frog dressed in armor holding a staff is seen standing next to a small chest.]
Frog: [Croaks strangely]
Finn: It's a brave little Gnome Knight.
Jake: What? That's a frog dressed up like a Gnome Knight.
Frog: Actually, I'm a Gnome Knight who was magically transformed into a frog. And then I decided to continue being a knight.
Jake: And now you're, like, attracting a mate?
Frog: No! I'm on the verge of death!
Jake: Oh. Well, you should just let go, man.
Finn: Yeah, you've had a good run.
Frog: No! I cannot die until I find a being whose spirit is brave and pure to take over my quest.
Finn: [Avidly] Quest?
Jake: Uh-oh. [Sing-song] Somebody's gonna do a quest for a frog.
Finn: Tell me more about this... quest.
Frog: I have to guard [opens chest] these magic beans.
Jake: Huh?
Frog: Two of the beans are good, but one is horribly evil! I have no idea which is which. So I've spent my life guarding them, preventing them from ever being planted.
Jake: Beans?! Ah ha ha! Magic beans... hee! We'll be right back. Come on, Finn. I think I dropped my spoon in the bush. [Walks off]
Finn: We will take your quest.
Frog: You will?
Finn: Sure! [Picks up chest] Consider it guarded.
Frog: Also, take this [hands Finn his staff].
Finn: [Takes staff] Oh. Okay. Thanks.
Frog: No, thank you. [Transforms back to a Gnome Knight]
Finn: Whoa!
[Jake reenters scene]
Jake: Dude, what's goin' on?
Finn: We took over the quest!
Jake: What?! The beans? [Brandishes spoon at Gnome Knight] Now wait a second!
Gnome Knight: Nope, too late. [Turns to ash and is blown away by a gust of wind]
Finn: Ah, I miss him already.
Jake: Well, we should get a move on if we wanna make the Ice Cream Marathon. [Walks off]
Finn: What about the quest?
Jake: [Reentering] Really? We have to do the bean quest?
Finn: I gave him my word.
Jake: Yeah, I wasn't here for that, so... can't we guard the beans and eat ice cream?
Finn: No, man! We're on the job. And like you always say, "Work and fun don't mix..."
Jake: "...unless you're a clown." I do say that a lot.
[Scene changes to Finn and Jake sitting next to the chest. Jake is sweating.]
Jake: Gee, sittin' in this hot sun, guarding beans. It sure beats 26 miles of vanilla ice cream. Or caramel ice cream. Or peach ice cream. Hey, what if we plant the beans ourselves?
Finn: That's a terrible idea.
Jake: No, wait, hear me out. See, [opens chest] if one of these beans is evil, then it's our duty to crush it, once and for all! Plus, two of the beans are good. If we plant them, we'll be bringin' twice as much good into the world!
Finn: And we can make it to the Ice Cream Marathon!
Jake: I hadn't even thought about that!
[Ice Cream Marathon Song plays. Finn and Jake are shown planting the beans. Night falls.]
Jake: [Yawns, grabs a pillow from off screen] I'm gonna take a cat nap.
Finn: What? But we have to be ready for evil!
Jake: [Yawning] If we take shifts, there's less chance of us falling asleep at the same time. [Starts snoring]
Finn: [Thinking] Alright Finn, Jake's a lazy bum and this soil is ripe with evil. I cannot go to sleep until that evil bean sprouts and is destroyed.
[Scene switches to Finn and Jake sleeping. It is now morning. A large beanstalk starts growing and Finn wakes up.]
Finn: AAAH! [Stands up] Wake up, Jake! This is it!
Jake: [Rubbing eyes] Huh? [Yawns, opens eyes] Oh!
[Beanstalk stretches down a pod.]
Finn: Aah! Bean pod! [Inspects it] I can't tell if it's evil yet.
[Bean pod opens, spilling out several piglets.]
Finn: Huh? Baby Pigs dressed in silly costumes?
Jake: Aw, look how cute they look all sleepy and snore-y.
Finn: Careful, Jake. It could be a trap. We should test them to see if they're... evil.
[Scene changes to Finn handing a pencil and a test to each of the pigs who are sitting at desks.]
Finn: Okay. Each one of you take one test and one pencil. You have one hour to complete the test and prove we shouldn't kill you. [Picks up sword] And begin.
[Pigs are shown in various positions on or around their desks, squealing and snorting. One drops its pencil.]
Jake: Aw, they're so cute they can hardly hold their pencils.
Finn: That doesn't fare well for their... [sword gleams] grade point average.
Jake: Nothing evil could be this adorable.
Finn: [Picks up a test] Hmm, you might be right. [Looks at test] The only thing on here is a cute drawing of an ice cream cone under "Do you have allergies?" Yeah, [shuffling through tests] nothing evil. Okay, the pigs are good.
Jake: YES! [Runs over to pigs] You hear that, guys? You passed! A-plus! A-plus-plus!
Finn: [Laughs]
[Another beanstalk grows out of the ground.]
Finn: Oh, no! [Picks up sword] Jake, get ready. The second pod is about to drop. PROTECT THE PIGLETS!
Jake: [Shielding pigs] Stay back, babies!
[Second pod drops to the ground.]
Finn: Show me what you have to offer, pod!
[Pod opens, spilling out magic wands]
Finn: Magical wands?
Jake: What? COOL! [Runs over to the wands and picks one up]
Finn: Stop, Jake!
Jake: [Waves wand around, sprinkling glitter] WOW!
Finn: Is it evil?
Jake: It's a wand that poops glitter! What's good-er than that?! [Runs over to pigs] Whee-hee-hee-hee-hee! [Sprinkles glitter on pigs]
Finn: Hmm... [picks up a wand and waves it around as it makes a rainbow trail and sprinkles glitter] Hahahaha! Glitter on its own could be evil. But with rainbows? Over my dead body!
Jake: Hey, let's have some fun with these pigs before the evil pod shows up!
Finn: Yeah!
[Jake is shown playing pattycake with the pigs, Finn playing checkers with them, Finn and Jake pushing them in a tire swing, playing dodgeball, and building a log cabin.]
Finn: Phew!
Jake: I'm exhausted!
[Pigs fall asleep in Finn and Jake's arms.]
Finn: They look so sleepy and peaceful. We have to stay alert. The evil pod could appear at any time. When it does, we must be ready to destroy it immediately.
Jake: And then go to the Ice Cream Marathon, right?
Finn: [Closing eyes] Yeah, man.
Jake: [Yawns] Okay. I'll take the first shift.
Finn: [Falling asleep] Rhombus.
[Scene changes, showing Finn and Jake still asleep. Finn and Jake awaken to see the third pod about to drop.]
Finn: AH! Look! The third pod!
Jake: It's bigger than the other two, dude!
Finn: [Grabbing sword] Yeah, man. We've gotta kill it now.
[The pod drops to the ground with a thud and Finn and Jake jump on top of it. Finn starts hitting it with his sword. Jake jumps off and punches near an opening.]
Jake: Huh? [Pod starts leaking brown substance] It's squirting!
Finn: Squirting?! [Jumps down]
Jake: See? Squirting. Right here. [Touches substance and licks his finger] Tastes good. [Starts licking the opening]
Finn: Dang, man! Don't just lick stuff! It's evil!
Jake: [Pulls back pod skin] No, it's not. It's... ice cream! [Starts eating]
Finn: Is the evil sucking you in? [Jake continues eating] JAKE! [Pulls Jake out by his legs]
Jake: [Sighs] That was awesome.
Finn: Are you poisoned?! Are you dying?
Jake: No, man! It was awesome!
[Pod starts refilling itself.]
Finn: Look, Jake! It's filling back up!
Jake: Aw, yeah! [Eats some ice cream. It replenishes.] This pod makes ice cream out of nothing! It's the "goodest" thing that's ever happened to me!
Finn: Well, if this pod's not evil.... [Looks around] The piglets are gone!
Jake: And so are the fairy wands.
[Screams are heard off screen]
Finn: [Running toward screams] Let's go! The screaming sounds are getting stronger near Mushroom Town!
[Pigs are seen attacking Mushroom People and their houses with wands. Finn and Jake arrive.]
Finn: Piglets! Stop this!
[Pigs shoot rainbows from their wands at Finn and Jake. The rainbows hit Finn and Jake, launching them into the air. They land on their backs near the pods.]
Finn and Jake: Oof!
Finn: Cram! Now I must find these wicked piglets' weakness and use it to "retribuse" them.
Jake: Well, I found my weakness [starts eating ice cream from pod].
Finn: That's it! Ice cream!
Jake: [Stops eating] What about ice cream?
Finn: [Shuffling through tests] Yes... yes! HA! The exams confirm my memory of the piglets being allergic to ice cream.
Jake: Just the thought of that scares me, man.
[Finn and Jake carry the pod toward the Mushroom Village]
Finn: I see one of them! Get ready to release! RELEASE!
[Jake squeezes the pod, causing ice cream to squirt out and hit one of the pigs. The pig starts inflating until it bursts, showering Finn and Jake with flowers and hearts.]
Jake: Ah, gross! That's--EW!
Finn: [Grunting] Ah, gross man!
[Another pig shoots a rainbow at Jake with its wand, hitting him and causing him to fall over.]
Finn: JAKE! Jake! [Jake stands up] Jake, are you okay?
Jake: [Starts dancing] Ahh, I can't stop dancing!
Finn: Wha--?
Jake: It must be the glitter! Oh, I really can't stop groovin'! It feels weird! Go on without me!
[Finn takes the pod and peeks around a corner. A pig shoots at him, narrowly missing.]
Finn: [Takes a breath and starts charging toward the pig while squirting ice cream from the pod] YAAAAAAAAAH!
[The pig explodes and Finn squirts at another pig.]
Finn: "Freezed" to meet you!
[Ice cream hits the pig. Finn turns to another pig and squeezes the pod.]
Finn: Hope you saved room for dessert!
[Ice cream hits the pig and Finn continues running. He squirts ice cream at another pig.]
Finn: Killing you with ice cream!
[Ice cream hits the pig. Finn stands on top of a mushroom house and squirts ice cream in all directions.]
Jake: [Still dancing] Whoo! Yeah, man!
Finn: Whoa! [Turns and sees one last pig, oinking sadly] Jake! There's one left... and I think he's trying to surrender.
Jake: Kill it!
Finn: But he's dressed as a little construction worker! It's freakin' adorable.
Jake: [Still dancing] He's tryin' to trick you! Kill it!
Finn: I just don't know if I can bring myself to do it, Jake.
[Pig squeals and shoots a rainbow at Finn. Finn squirts ice cream and the two streams meet and shoot up into the sky. The ice cream overtakes the rainbow and falls on the pig, who explodes and showers Finn, Jake, and three Mushroom People with flowers, hearts, bows, etc.]
Mushroom Mayor: Why, thank you, Finn and Jake, for sort of saving our village.
Finn: You're sort of welcome.
Mushroom Mayor: Now if you'll excuse us, we need to start removing all of this ice cream from our homes and businesses.
Jake: Not so fast! I'll take it from here, folks. [Starts eating]
Finn: [To Mushroom People] He likes ice cream.
[Mushroom Village is shown sparkling clean. Jake returns.]
Finn: Haha, nice job, tubby. But save room for the Ice Cream Marathon.
Jake: [Angrily] I've always got room for ice cream, Finn. You know that, man! Ugh, I'm going to the Ice Cream Marathon.
Finn: [To Mushroom People] He just really likes ice cream.
Mushroom Mayor: Oh.

Episode ends