This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "The Prince Who Wanted Everything" from season 6, which aired on June 26, 2014.

This transcript is complete.


[Ice King wakes up in a forest]
Ice King: Huh? Wha-? Where am I? Gunter?
[He is found tied to a tree]
Ice King: Gunter?
[He finds his legs attached to a stick by rope]
Ice King: I don't think this is Gunter.
[A bonfire has been lit suddenly. Lumpy Space Princess appears]
Lumpy Space Princess: It's me, Ice King.
Ice King: Lumpy Space Princess?
Lumpy Space Princess: Yeah.
Ice King: And you're doing this because you like me?
Lumpy Space Princess: No, Ice King, listen. I'm gonna give you the straight dope.
Ice King: Okay.
Lumpy Space Princess: You're weird and old and you kidnap princesses.
Ice King: I know!
Lumpy Space Princess: But I asked you here tonight because I wanna know what you think of this.
[Takes out a green book from behind her]
Ice King: [Reads the cover title] "The Prince Who Wanted Everything; A Fionna and Cake Adventure"? Hey, why isn't my name on there?
Lumpy Space Princess: I want you to read it because you're their dad. Please be their dad right now and bring them to life!
[Gives book to the Ice King]
Ice King: [Groans] Okay, might as least until the cops show up. Ahem!
[Opens the book to the first page, showing a drawing of Lumpy Space Prince. Ice King begins reading the book]
Ice King: Once upon a time, there was a most handsome prince, the future king of Lumpy Space, Lumpy Space Prince.
[the page transitions to Lumpy Space Prince in his castle. Two lumpy servants carry a plate of gold sandwiches]
Lumpy Servants: Where do you want these gold-plated sandwiches your highness?
Lumpy Space Prince: [with Lumpy Space Princess' voice] By the window!
Lumpy Space Princess: No! [story is interrupted] That's not how I sound! Read it in a better voice!
Ice King: Okay, Okay! Yeesh! [Story continues]
Lumpy Space Prince: [In an english accent] By the window!
[comes up to the window]
Lumpy Space Prince: For from the window shall I shower the poor with presents, as is my altruistic nature. Haha!
[Lumpy Space Prince grabs three golden sandwiches]
Lumpy Space Prince: Eat! Eat, my children!
[throws golden sandwiches out the window. Three lumpy space people hang out below the window. One of the Lumpy Space people dodge the two incoming sandwiches from above which penetrates the cloud. The third golden sandwich hits the lumpy space person into the cloud. The neighboring Lumpy Space people run away in fear.]
Lumpy Space Queen: Son, come here at once!
Ice King: But, all was not perfect for this philanthropic prince of the people.
[Lumpy Space Prince comes up to Lumpy Space Queen and King]
Ice King: His parents were slobbering monsters who didn't care that he was a beautiful prince! They wanted him to be a monster too.
Lumpy Space Queen: Why aren't you working on your monster exercises?
Lumpy Space Princess: I don't want to be a monster.
[Lumpy Space King takes out and holds a bunch of worms]
Lumpy Space King: Eat these worms!
Lumpy Space Princess: No!
Lumpy Space Queen: You will eat them!
Lumpy Space Princess: I won't eat them!
[Lumpy Space Queen takes out a teeth file]
Lumpy Space Queen: Sharpen your teeth!
Lumpy Space Princess: No!
Lumpy Space King: Eat these worms!
Lumpy Space Queen: Eat those worms and sharpen those teeth!
Lumpy Space Princess: No, no, no! I told you hundreds of times that I don't want to be a monster, and there's nothing you can do about it!
[The next scene shows Lumpy Space Princess running away from home (him and his big royal mouth). Lumpy Space Queen and King chase after him. Lumpy Space Prince falls off the edge of the cloud. Lumpy Space King and Queen halt at the edge. Lumpy Space Prince falls and is transported through a portal in the Forest through the Frog. Lumpy Space Prince encounters a bunch of pesky bees. Soon the bees leave Lumpy Space Prince alone.]
Lumpy Space Prince: Where am I? [Gasps]
Lumpy Space Prince sees animals hiding behind trees.]
Lumpy Space Prince: Who's there? Reveal yourself!
[Animals reveal themselves from the trees.]
Lumpy Space Prince: Hmm... Citizens of this realm, I am the one and only heir to the throne of the Lumpy Space Kingdom- I mean, I used to be. I rebelled against my parents, and now i'm a refugee. [pause] What's that? You wish to help me? I am touched! Fetch me some clothes and I'll pay you handsomely, by petting you. First, I need freaky clothes! Cool freaky, not monster freaky. Oh yes, and something to read as well, something mind-blowing.
[Animals begin to walk away]
Lumpy Space Prince: Oh wait! I also need servants! Recruit some locals, they work fine.
[Animals run off to do their assigned jobs. The next scene shows Flame Prince, Turtle Prince, Marshall Lee, and Prince Gumball in chains in the forest with other animals. Marshall hisses as a squirrel nibbles on his shoe. Lumpy Space Prince sit on wooden throne beside bear body guards, wearing armor. A squirrel hands Lumpy Space Prince a shiny helmet and Lumpy Space princess tries it on]
Lumpy Space Prince: Hmm... Not bad! Well done, my child! Next!
[A raccoon hands Lumpy Space Prince a red book. Lumpy Space Prince reads the cover out loud]
Lumpy Space Prince: Massenpsychologie und Ich-Analyse. That does sound mind-blowing!
Fionna: Yah! Aiyah! Aha!
[Fionna and Cake swing in from the trees. Fionna pulls her sword out.]
Fionna: Cake, I'll save the captives, you take care of those animals! [runs off]
Cake: Ya!
[Cake stretches her arms and attacks the animals]
Cake: Ha! Dance you puppets!
[Fionna punches in an incoming squirrel and a bird as she runs. She summons her sword, does a front flip, and strikes the chains linking Turtle Prince and Marshall Lee together.]
Fionna: You're free to go people!
[The chains are completely broken and fall on the ground. Flame Prince, Turtle Prince, Marshall Lee, and Prince Gumball cheer and run off.]
Flame Prince, Turtle Prince, Marshal Lee, and Prince Gumball: Woohoo!
Lumpy Space Prince: Hey! Those were my servants!
Fionna: Hmm?
Lumpy Space Prince: What an innocent face! [Fionna walks up to Lumpy Space Prince] It shines as if you have done no wrong! Do you like my freaky clothes?
Fionna: [aggressively] I don't care about your clothes!
Lumpy Space Princess: Hey! [Story is interrupted]You're not supposed to read it like that. Say it in a nicer way!
Ice King: I...Uh...I don't-
Fionna: [Positive tone] -care about you're clothes.
Lumpy Space Prince: You don't? [The shades on his helmet slides up] Finally, someone who's not impressed with my noble looks, but admire's what's inside of me!
[Fionna takes a bite out of an apple]
Lumpy Space Prince: Is this really happening? You're clothes are so raggedy and soiled! And yet, you use them as a napkin! [Lumpy Space Prince puts on his "Handsome Face"] You care not about your personal appearance nor hygiene!
[Lumpy Space Prince takes off his "Handsome Face" and claps to call on his animals]
Lumpy Space Prince: Dress me in the fashion of this peasant!
[Animals begin tearing at Lumpy Space Prince's clothes, resulting in Lumpy Space Prince wearing a raggedy blue shirt and blonde bangs. The animals back away.]
Lumpy Space Prince: I have much to learn from you, Fionna the Human.
Cake: How'd he know your name?
[The next scene shows Fionna and Cake practicing their combat skills outside the Tree Fort; Fionna swaying her sword, and Cake punching and kicking in the air. Lumpy Space Prince observes closely]
Lumpy Space Prince: Hmm... Your movements are so free! My parents only want me to fly like a proper monster: stiff and rigid, with a sharp toothed scowl permanently in place. But now, I see a new way to move. [Puts on his "Handsome Face"] Dance with me?
[Holds out a hand for Fionna and she accepts. She dances with Lumpy Space Prince. The environment reddens, sparkles, and Fionna and Lumpy Space Prince's faces show in the sky, representing how they feel.]
Cake: Y'all seeing those big floaty faces?
Fionna: [eyes become wide, blushes, starts to drool] Pretty!
[Lumpy Space Prince notices this and gasps. He becomes tense]
Lumpy Space Prince: Uh...No!
[Lumpy Space Prince releases Fionna and the environment is back to it's normal state]
Lumpy Space Prince: Release!
Fionna: [tensed] Uh... What just happened?
Lumpy Space Prince: You were under my handsome spell for a moment. We can never marry, you know? I can only be with someone who is my equal in every way , a person so much like me that she doesn't even exist!
Fionna: I don't care, as long as we can hang out! Anyone want a sandwich?
Lumpy Space Prince: Ooh! I'll have one!
[the next scene shows the Tree Fort's Living Room. A trap door opens from the floor and Cake enters, followed by Fionna and Lumpy Space Prince. He gasps at the scenery of the living room.]
Lumpy Space Prince: So rusty... So humble...
[Fionna hands Lumpy Space Prince a sandwich on a plate]
Lumpy Space Prince: Delightful!
[Lumpy Space Prince claps to call a baby which enters through the trapdoor. he puts the sandwich on the baby.]
Lumpy Space Prince: Wait, where're your baby tables?
[Cake munches on her sandwich]
Lumpy Space Prince: What!? [Cake swallows] You don't dip your foods in gold before eating?
Fionna: Who eats gold?
[Fionna takes a bite out of her sandwich. Lumpy Space Prince takes the sandwich from the baby table and nibbles on it.]
Lumpy Space Prince: Great Glob! What is this? So charming! So quaint! So self-reliant!
[Lumpy Space Prince devours his whole sandwich and puts on his "Handsome Face" while shedding a tear.]
Lumpy Space Prince: For years, I thought only of the needs of my people, but what about me? What do I need? This poorly made sandwich has enlightened me!
[takes Fionna's sandwich and begins singing That's All I Need. He floats out of the tree fort, is grabbed by a bird's talons, steals Magic Woman's cup, he flies through a party, stuffs the cup into Prince Gumball's face, is released by the by the bird and lands outside the tree fort with Fionna and Cake.]
Lumpy Space Prince: What I want is to be like you, Fionna the peasant! And I'll need you as my pet, Cake the cat.
Cake: Yeah, whatever.
[The sky starts to darken and the clouds grow larger. The Frog puffs out a giant purple cloud of smoke. Fionna, Cake, and Lumpy Space Prince notice the purple cloud which proceeds to grow larger]
Lumpy Space Prince: [Puts on his "Handsome Face"] Huh?
[The purple cloud forms into a bigger and more hideous Lumpy Space Queen and King.]
Lumpy Space Queen: Son!
Lumpy Space Prince: Flee, noble Fionna, for it is my stupid parents! And they're fatter than ever!
Lumpy Space Queen: Silence!
[a black bolt of lightning strikes Lumpy Space Prince whom takes off his "Handsome Face"]
Lumpy Space Prince: Ahh! I'm just being honest!
[Fionna helps Lumpy Space Prince to stand up]
Lumpy Space Prince: Huh?
Fionna: Come on, you beautiful dandy! Only your pure spirit can defeat your evil family!
[Summons sword. Fionna and Cake climb on top of Lumpy Space Prince's back]
Fionna: And this sword!
[Lumpy Space Prince floats up to his parents. Lumpy Space Queen and Lumpy Space King start spitting out black blobs at Lumpy Space Prince, Fionna, and Cake. They successfully dodge the black blobs.]
Lumpy Space Prince: You're right, Fionna! This is my destiny!
[Black lightning strikes from Lumpy Space Queen and King]
Lumpy Space Prince: I do have the power!
[Lumpy Space Queen vomits a black substance at Fionna and Cake, who are knocked off of Lumpy Space Prince's back.]
Lumpy Space Prince: Huh?
[Fionna and Cake can be seen slowly falling from the sky.]
Lumpy Space Prince: Fionna!
Lumpy Space Queen: You must obey!
[Lumpy Space Queen strikes a black solid lightning bolt at Lumpy Space Prince, which pierces him. Lumpy Space Prince sheds tears from the pain]
Lumpy Space Prince: My heart!
[He is brought closer to Lumpy Space Queen, still pierced on the lightning bolt]
Lumpy Space Queen: Submit young one, become a true monster.
Lumpy Space Prince: No! It isn't right!
Lumpy Space Queen: Silence!
[Lumpy Space Queen yells so loud that Lumpy Space Prince is freed from the lightning bolt he was recently pierced by, but falls to the ground]
Lumpy Space Prince: Urh, Fionna, This is the end for me. But at least I made you proud, didn't I?
Fionna: I don't care. [Lumpy Space Prince gasps and sits up]
Lumpy Space Prince: My glob, Fionna! You've been telling be the answer all along! [Fionna and Cake sit up] The only way to defeat parental disapproval is not caring about anything! I don't care!
[Lumpy Space Prince sends strong sound waves at his parents. The angry parents try to exhale black smog at Lumpy Space Prince.]
Lumpy Space Prince: I don't care!
[Lumpy Space Prince is freed from the smog with ease and shouts at his parents]
Fionna: LSP!
[Fionna's sword magically transforms into a microphone. Fionna takes Cake, whom is shape-shifted into a crossbow.]
Cake: Haha! Cake's helping!
[Fionna shoots the microphone to Lumpy Space Prince. Lumpy Space Prince catches it with ease. He whispers on the microphone]
Lumpy Space Prince: I don't care...
[The sound waves dissolve Lumpy Space Queen and king to be left a smaller and nicer form of Lumpy Space Queen and King. The sky becomes reddish orange]
Lumpy Space Queen: Thank you son! You freed us from adult mediocrity and fatuousness.
Lumpy Space Prince: [Brings the microphone up to his face] I don't care!
[Lumpy Space Queen and King explode into nothing. Lumpy Space Prince pouts his lips and drops the microphone.]
Lumpy Space Prince: Fionna, Cake. Both of you buy me dinner.
[Lumpy Space Prince, Fionna, and Cake link arms]
Fionna and Cake: Yes, your hotness!
[Lumpy Space Prince, Fionna, and Cake fly to the horizon. The next scene come back to Ice King and Lumpy Space Princess]
Ice King: And then, Lumpy Space Prince became so real that he can actually break through into this plane of existence. Woah! [Lumpy Space Princess reads along] And meet his one true love, Lumpy Space Princess. It was really happening. The secret portal began to shake and tremble.
[Lumpy Space Princess and Ice King gasp at the sound of a bush rustling.]
Ice King: The countdown began. 10, 9, 8,[Ice king flips the page with his nose, Lumpy Space Princess sweats] 7, 6, 5...
[The bushes rustles even more]
Ice King: 4, 3, 2, 1!
[Lumpy Space Princess comes closer to the bush, ready for a kiss, when a giant rat with rabies jumps out of the bushes. Lumpy Space Princess screams loudly as she floats away. The giant rat enters in through the ice king's cloak. Episode ends.]