"Wahoo!" Finn cried, as he rode a roll of streamer down from the ceiling of the Candy Palace.
"Thank you for helping me set up this party, Finn. This is going to be the best Sun Day ever!" Princess Bubblegum said, her voice oozing excitement at the upcoming festivities.
"Isn't there a Sunday every week?" Jake asked, hanging paper lanterns from the high windows.
"No-no-no, it's not Sunday, it's Sun Day, with a pause in the middle. It's the day where we celebrate the return of the sun." PB corrected.
"How come I never heard of it?" Jake asked feeling confused that such a major shindig fell under his radar.
"Well," she grimly explained, "we stopped celebrating it about a century ago, after, 'The Shenanigans' happened; but, the candy council is pretty sure everything will be okay this time. We've gotten all the beavers away from the coal mines." Bubblegum said, returning to her cheerful self. Jake paused for a moment, looking puzzled. He opened his mouth to ask another question, as there were so many forming in his mind, when they heard a loud pounding on the castle door followed with, "Hello? Is this the, err, 'Candy Kingdom'? I have some questions of a…um…historical nature!"
Finn recognized the voice at the door, "Hey, man! That's that one guy from the magic door!"
"That weirdo? I thought he was lookin' for adventure or somethin'," Jake scratched his head.
"Finn? Is that you? Open up, dude!" Alan said, still knocking.
Bubblegum looked at Finn for a moment, raising her eyebrow. Finn shrugged, and PB crossed her arms, her brow still arched. Apparently, Finn had silently convinced Princess Bubblegum that Alan was an okay dude. Finn walked to the large double doors and opened them, to see Alan standing on stilts, wearing a T-shirt which read "Spunky Grandma."
"Hey man? What's up with those stilts?" Finn asked, mindful of Alan's awkward stumbling stilts.
"I'm wearing them so-whoah-so I can reach the knocker on the dang door! It's far too-whoops!" Alan said, finally losing his tenuous balance and falling to the floor.
"Alright, can we move it along? We're very busy, you know," Princess Bubblegum said impatiently.
"Oh, uh, right! The questions! Alright, first off, Where's America gone? And as a follow-up, why is everyone all Technicolor?" Alan asked, brushing himself off.
Princess Bubblegum just stared at him. Her mouth was ajar, and she just stared at him, as if he had just puked up a live wallaby onto the floor of the Grand Hall.
"Ooh! Are you guys settin' up for a party?" Alan said, "Can I help?"
Meanwhile, while Alan was trying to figure out how to hang tinsel off the chandelier without killing himself, Finn went over to check on the still-stunned Princess Bubblegum.
"Yo, PB! Are you okay?" Finn waved his hand in front of Bubblegum's face, "Princess Bubblegum!"
"Huh, what? Oh! Yeah, I'm fine…It's just…How does he know about America?" Bubblegum wondered aloud.
"What's a 'merica'?" Finn asked, never the scholarly type.
"Shh!" PB tried to keep out of Alan's earshot, "America was a great nation which once existed before the Great Mushroom War. Legend says that the nation ended the war at the cost of their own lives."
"Soooo…Why's he looking for it?" Finn asked, while Alan, who had apparently tried to use his stilts to hang the tinsel, was dangling from the chandelier, his stilts beneath him on the floor.
"I think he might be from…before the war!" Princess Bubblegum whispered, while Jake rescued Alan.
"Wait, that'd mean he's, like a million years old!"
"More like a thousand, but yes. How could he have survived?" PB mused.
"Well, I was stuck in an old mage's tower for the past millennium!" Alan said, mixing the punch.
"Mage's tower? I wasn't aware of any Mage's Towers on the survey…" Bubblegum said, checking a scroll that one of her clerks had brought her, "Are you sure?"
"Positive. But I don't think it actually looks like a tower anymore. Some weird mystic quantum-mechanical thingy made it look like a door, standing in a meadow," Alan replied, taking a sip of the punch, which was apparently not to his liking. "Ugh! This tastes like dog butt mixed with rotten eggs!"
"Nah, my butt isn't anywhere near that gross."
"No! Don't drink that! It's rocket fuel, not punch!" PB ran off to intervene, and possibly get some syrup of Ipecac.
The Ice King sat upon his throne, the only thing preventing his posterior from slipping off of the icy chair being his robe. "It's oddly warm today, Gunter. What day is it?"
A penguin (who probably wasn't named Gunter to begin with) held up a calendar with the date circled: June 21st, the summer solstice.
"D'ohhhh...I hate summer! Especially the solstice! It always makes my house all...melty!" The cold monarch whined. He stepped out onto his balcony, which probably looked pretty nice before, and pondered how he could fix his problem. "Hmm...Giant snowball? No, that'd just melt," He thought out loud, stroking his beard. "Gah! I can't think in this hot sun! I-" The Ice King came to a realization, which, as usual would turn out to be more than a little insane. "Gunter, that's it! I'll just block the sun!"
"What the-d'ohh, what do you know about plans, Gunter? You're just a penguin."
"Wait, what? Then where's Gunter? Never mind...I'm off to space! Have some gazpacho ready for me when I get home."
The Ice King disappeared in a puff of cold air.
The Festival began only 42 minutes ago, at about eleven. The party was, from a sociologist's point of view, "off da hinges", and everyone was having a good time...until the Ice King flew in. "Hello, party people!" he shouted, knocking a hole in the wall where he entered.
"You know, we have windows for a reason, Ice King," Princess Bubblegum groaned, placing her hand on her forehead.
"Woops! Didn't see those, there. Anyhoodles, I've blocked out the sun, so you guys can get back to enjoying your party," the Ice King stated, looking very proud of his unwittingly omnicidal achievement.
"No you didn't. I can see the sun right there, dude," Finn pointed up at the still steady sun.
"Huh. Wonder what happened..." IK pondered, yet again stroking his beard.
"Give it a few minutes to account for the speed-of-light delay." Alan said, right as the sky got dark.
"What the FLIP! Why would you block out the sun, man?" Jake asked, pulling himself away from "the ladies," "We need that for the Sun Day Festival!"
"The what now?" Ice King asked, immediately before Finn landed a solid right hook on his face.
"How! Many! Times! Do I! Have! To Beat! You! Up!" Finn shouted, using his fists as exclamation points.
The other mostly just watched, wondering what to do about the glaringly obvious issue of the missing sun.
"Let's throw somethin' at it!"
"Shoot it with a bow and arrow!"
"Attach balloons to a flamethrower and try to re-light it!"
"Uhm...none of those would ever work," Jake attempted to inject some reason into the conversation... "What we gotta do is go to space and find a new sun!" ...and failed hilariously.
"Well, to be honest, if the barrier has no support system and it's made of ice, it'd probably just break up from the heat of the sun."
Sure enough, after about thirty more seconds of panicky candy people, the sun came back into view...along with a city-sized hunk of ice!
"Whoah. Didn't expect that," The Ice King said, his beard still bruised from Finn's merciless pounding.
"Well, I guess that solves the sun problem..." Jake trailed off, unable to think of something witty to say.
"Don't worry. It'll melt on reentry," Princess Bubblegum explained, doing her best to put her people at ease. "Not really," PB whispered to Finn and Jake.
10 hours passed in Bubblegum's Tower while Princess Bubblegum, Finn and Jake tried to formulate a plan to combat the falling chunk of of partially melted slush that would, in no less than an hour demolish the Land of Ooo. "Urgh! None of these plans will work! If only we had some way to deflect the ice back into the Ice Kingdom..." PB mused.
It was at that moment that Finn's brain started clicking:
We need somebody who can deflect stuff. Now, who can do that? Ice King? No, he doesn't have force fields. There's somebody I know who can do this, but- It was at this moment that Finn remembered the brief fight in the Hidden Tower, when Alan placed a protective field to stop Finn's sword. Alan! He has force fields! He can deflect the slush!
Finn immediately spoke up, "Jake, we gotta go get Alan! I have an idea!"
"It's about time," Jake retorted, "I wasn't sure if you were thinking or letting off a toot!"
Alan was munching on a cookie when Finn and Jake walked up.
"Hey guys! Got a plan on how to-Whoa! I don't like being carried!" Alan shouted, wrapped up in Jake's arms as he was carried up to the top of Bubblegum's Tower at top speed.
"You have him? Good," PB said to Finn, while pulling up a chalkboard with complex diagrams, the central one labeled (much to Alan's chagrin) "Alan Strapped to a Rocket"
"We were going to use this rocket to carry a commemorative satellite into space, but I've managed to re-purpose it to carry you up high enough to redirect the slush back to the Ice Kingdom." PB explained, pointing to the diagrams.
"Now, in order to best deflect it, I've calculated that you'll need to position a shield at least 3 hectometers in width at an angle of decline of approximately 55 degrees"
"Now, the slush will be falling at over three hundred and fifty meters per second, so you'll have to put a lot of energy into this."
"Wait, you expect me to stop this?"
"Right now, You're the best we've got. Everyone has evacuated to the bunkers, but I don't know if it'll protect them. The damages could be irreparable if this isn't stopped."
"Meh. Worth a shot. Let's light this candle!"
Alan was strapped to the side of the rocket, his hands kept free to cast spells. He put on goggles and sunscreen, and nervously waited for the countdown.
Finn was given the honors, "Launch in 5!"
Jake cut in out of impatience, "3-2-1! GO!"
"Not cool, man."
On the way up, Alan saw the full view of the Land of Ooo, as only those unlucky enough to find themselves strapped to rockets get to see. "I see why it's called 'Ooo'," Alan said. He then looked up to see the giant slushball. "Here goes everything! BHALLA DOSHÁRAITHE!" He screamed, pouring every bit of magical might he had into a great magical wall, only barely large enough to catch the slush. The wall groaned and cracked under the weight, collapsing literally nanoseconds before the last of the slush was redirected. And then the rocket ran out of fuel.
The Ice King sat in the puddle that was once his throne, sighing with regret at not only nearly killing everyone, but mostly at his melted throne. and then his house filled with slush. "Jeez, that's cold!" He shouted, not sure whether to feel relieved that his Kingdom had been returned to its frozen state, or annoyed that his house was just filled with slush. So, he shrugged and set to work rebuilding his furniture from the slush.
Back at the Palace, PB, Finn and Jake were watching with nervous anticipation as the rocket fell back to Earth, landing with a resounding thud. they immediately made their way to it, Finn astride Jake, and Bubblegum atop Lady Rainicorn. When they got there, all they found was the burnt-out shell of the rocket, and a pair of black sneakers (that's trainers for you Brits out there).
"Dude...I feel kinda...bad," Jake said, picking up the sneakers.
"At least...We're okay..." Princess Bubblegum trailed off.
"이 사람이 누구 였죠?" Rainicorn asked, being entirely unaware of the day's shenanigans.
A voice which was suspiciously similar to Alan's called out, "Hey, can you hand me my shoes?"
Everyone turned to see what appeared to be a rather scorched, naked Alan, with his hands over his...unmentionables. Needless to say, only someone seeing this from an external viewpoint would have expected this. Thus, all jaws were slackened.
"And can I borrow some pants?" He awkwardly finished.
Soon, Jake started chuckling, followed by Finn, PB, Lady Rainicorn, and even Alan.
And then they got Alan some pants.