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Adventure Time: Last of the Humans/Chapter 4

BNSF1995 December 5, 2011 User blog:BNSF1995

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After the little moment on the tarmac, the three friends, and their new friends began walking to the castle. The sun was starting to set, so Marceline and Marshall Lee could take off their protective gear. They were still doing some catch-up. Marceline was telling Marshall about the infamous Fry Eating Incident, which happened shortly after she and Marshall were separated. Princess Bubblegum and Prince Gumball were discussing sciency-related stuff. They talked about the new colonial kingdom, as well as general science.

Finn and Fionna hung around at the back of the cavalcade. They were sharing stories of their adventures. All the while, they were holding hands, but neither cared a bit. Already, they were bonding.

When they got to the castle, a huge crowd welcomed them. They were led into the Royal Dinner Hall, where an international cuisine was prepared.

They all took their seats. PB sat next to PG, as PG set down multiple pieces of paper. “What are those?” asked PB. “The plans, blueprints, and artists’ depictions of the colonial kingdom.” Replied PG. “Cool!” exclaimed PB.

Marceline and Marshall Lee sat on a banister near the back. Marshall was telling Marceline a story of one of his adventures in Aaa. “So I told the guy ‘You ain’t gettin’ my wallet!’ and I punched him in the boingloings!” Marceline couldn’t help but laugh. Marshall always hit his adversaries in their privates (Marshall called them “boingloings”, “milkmounds”, “nuts”, “balls” and even “baby factories”).

Finn and Fionna sat down at a far end of a table, next to Lumpy Space Princess and Space Angel Princess. LSP was the first to say something. “OH MY GLOB, FINN! WHO’S THAT! Am…am I seeing double, but the non-existent you is some female named Fiona?” cried LSP. “You know I can read the text of this story”, said Fionna, “My name is spelled with two N’s.” “Oh.” replied LSP. “Wait, what text?! What story?!” LSP was having a mental breakdown.

Space Angel Princess was not surprised, but interested. “Ya know” she said in a Southern Drawl, “I never thought I’d see the day when I’d see another human. But, now I’m looking at a gosh-darn human girl next to good ol’ Finn!” “She seems interesting.” whispered Fionna, “She reminds me of Space Angel Prince. And that Lumpy Space Princess acts just like Lumpy Space Prince. It’s like this Land is like Aaa, but reversed.” “I think that’s what the creators of this world had in mind when they created you in mid-2010.” “What?” “Just dropping some fourth wall jokes! Yeah, I see you, readers! This should be a real episode! Ya hear me? REAL EPISODE!!”

The food was then served. Everyone ate everything on their plates. And, umm…uhh…”Running out of material?” asked Finn to the author. Uh, yeah Finn, just what people are eating at this dinner. “Just leave it to the reader’s imagination” said Fionna. Good idea!

For Finn, everything was right with the world. Not only was his depression gone, there was a beautiful girl sitting right next to him, who had the same amount of love for adventure as he did.

But right outside of a window was a familiar figure. The most despised person in Ooo. Ice King. He was looking into the Royal Dinner Hall in horror. He was seeing his fan fiction characters in the flesh. He knew it wasn’t his old wizard eyes, but the real thing. His world, it seemed, was falling apart.

Finn looked around for no reason in particular, when he spotted Ice King. IK immediately fled screaming. “My glob! I just remembered!” exclaimed Finn. “Remembered what, Finn?” inquired Fionna. “Ice King” replied Finn, “He once wrote this sick fan fiction story called ‘Adventure Time with Fionna & Cake’!” “What was it like?!” asked Fionna, her eyes bugging out. “Well, it was about, well, you, and some Ice Queen, and Prince Gumball over there, and some cat named Cake. And this is how it went:

You and Cake are helping Prince Gumball decorate for the Biennial Gumball Ball, when Prince Gumball asks you if you would like to go with him "as pals ". Your conversation is interrupted when Cake’s tail frizzes at the coming danger. You rush to the balcony and see the Ice Queen coming down from dark clouds to kidnap Prince Gumball. She breaks into the castle, forms a slush beast around herself and goes after Gumball. Cake turns into a morning star that you use to smash the slush monster, with Ice Queen and Gumball inside. The room fills with snow, and Prince Gumball appears unharmed but Ice Queen has mysteriously vanished. Prince Gumball then asks you to "go out" with him, and Cake agrees for her to meet him again in an hour at the Castle Gardens.

At the Tree Fort, you and Cake argue over whether or not Gumball asked you on a date. Cake insists that it is and decides to come along to help you, taking her dulcimer with her as a “conversation starter” (the alternate to Jake’s viola, apparently.) You begrudgingly agrees to this, and they go meet Prince Gumball at the Castle Gardens. Prince Gumball is joined by Lord Monochromicorn. Prince Gumball gives Cake a satchel of catnip that Lord Monochromicorn picked himself, and gives you a bouquet of posies with a retractable crystal sword inside it. You’re more excited by the sword than the flowers.

The group rides off, and Prince Gumball challenges you to a race to Marshmallowy Meadows. The group races there, and you and Prince Gumball jump off their friends into the flowers. Suddenly Prince Gumball dives into the squishy ground and disappears. Panicking, you dive after him and pulls him out. Gumball explains he saw a pearl pygmy skull in the flowers that reminded him of your sparkling eyes. Later the group flies off on Lord Monochromicorn, and Prince Gumball sings about you, and Cake plays along with her dulcimer. The flight ends when Cake and Lord Monochromicorn drop ypu and Prince Gumball off in a grassy field, leaving them alone together. After lying on the ground talking for a while, Prince Gumball asks you to come to the ball with him as his girlfriend.

You rush back to the Tree Fort and tells Cake that you is now going to the ball as Gumball’s girlfriend. After Cake dresses you up in a fancy gown, you ask how you’re supposed to fit weapons in your bag. Cake says you don’t need weapons at a ball, but you take the retractable crystal sword with you anyway. When you and Cake get to the ball, Prince Gumball takes you to his room, decorated with candles and rose petals, and locks the door. You become flustered when he begins to take his shirt off. A drop of water lands on your shoulder, you look up to see the real Prince Gumball trapped in a giant icicle on the ceiling. The fake prince is revealed to be Ice Queen in disguise.

Enraged by the deception, you take out the crystal sword to fight, but the sword is another one of Ice Queen’s tricks and turns into a ball of ice around your hands. Cake hears noises from downstairs and senses you are in trouble. Undaunted, you use the ice to beat Ice Queen over the head. Ice Queen pushes you off in burst of snow, which you use to get close to enough to break Prince Gumball free. Ice Queen gets knocked down by the broken icicle pieces just before Cake bursts into the room. Seeing Gumball standing next to you in your torn dress, Cake jumps to the wrong conclusion and lunges at the prince. You stop Cake from hurting Gumball and tell her it was the Ice Queen all along.

Just then Ice Queen recovers and blasts Cake away from you with an ice blast. You knock her magic tiara off, squelching her powers, and then punch her for "yanking her heart-guts". Cake then uses the tiara’s power to bury the Ice Queen in snow. The real Prince Gumball is impressed by you and asks her on a date, but you turn him down. You decide you don't need a boyfriend, but add that you would love to date the Ice King. Then, that’s when Ice King started making you talk about going to the farthest place in Ooo, getting married, fat and die old together. I was totally disturbed. And now I’m here, talking to the same person!”

As Fionna listened, her eyes kept dilating more and her anger reached new levels. “You know Finn” she said with a stern voice, “I think we should pay Ice King a visit and teach him a lesson in REALITY!” “Yeah! We’ll beat the tar out of him with these!” Finn replied as he raised his right fist. Fionna raised her right fist as well. Then came a fist bump. “Classic.”, they said in unison.

Later that night, they were called into the War Room. It was time to assign temporary lodging until the first three houses were complete. “Alright” announced PG, “We’re going to assign temporary lodging until the first three houses are complete” “Wait, isn’t that what the narrator just said?” asked Marshall Lee. “D’oh!” uttered Homer Simpson, who somehow got into this story. GET OUT! “Fine.” said Homer, as he walked off set back to Fox Studios. “Anyway,” continued PG, “the assignments are as follows: I will stay here in a spare bedroom, Marshall Lee will stay at Marceline’s house, and Fionna will stay with Finn. Dismissed.”

They started to their lodging assignments. PG entered his bedroom. “Ooh, this is cozy!” he exclaimed. “This is the Presidential Room.” said PB. “Made for VIP’s like you, PG. Or should I say…Bubba.” “You knew?” asked PG. “Of course. I never forgot at all.” OK, let’s get out of here before things get…well, this is supposed to be about Finn and Fionna. But let’s check in on Marcy and Marshall…

MEANWHILE AT THE LEGION OF DOOM-I MEAN! MARCELINE’S HOUSE…

“Sweet place you got here, Marcy.” said Marshall, “Feels like home. Maybe…a little bit too much like home.” “That’ll make settling in easier, right?” asked Marceline. “Yeah, I guess”.

At the Tree Fort, Finn opened the door. “Jake, I’m home!” he said cheerfully. “Oh, hey Finn-wait, why aren’t you depressed and moaning and crying and all that junk?” asked Jake. “Didn’t you see what happened on the tarmac?” asked Finn. “I was watching the Three Stooges! It was the one where they sing ‘Swingin’ The Alphabet’!” “So, you didn’t watch CKBC? I think they still have coverage.”

Finn was right. Flan Rather and Tom Stevenson were still talking about the historic moment on the tarmac. “Well, I tell you, Tom. In all my years as a newscaster, I never thought I’d see the day when our very own hero, Finn the Human, would ever meet another of his kind.” Jake gasped, as Fionna entered the house. “Yes Flan”, replied Tom, “I have known Finn for some time, and we had heard that he was getting depression regarding being the last human. Not anymore. This raw footage of the meeting on the tarmac is slowly but surely circulating on the internet, already garnering 1,000,000 views on New Youtube. We also received information that Finn and the as-of-yet unidentified human girl were holding hands on the way to the castle. Are we looking at Ooo’s hottest couple here?” “Perhaps. It’s too early to say, but I think these two are the cornerstone of human repopulation.”

Fionna turned to Finn when they went to commercial. “You…you were depressed about being the last human?” “Yes, I was. That is, until you came.” Both started getting teary-eyed and hugged again. Jake watched with interest, but remained respectfully silent.

Jake turned in for the night, leaving the place to Finn and Fionna. “Finn”, said an electronic voice, “who is that?” It was Beemo. “Hey, I have a Beemo back at home, too!” exclaimed Fionna. It wasn’t long before they were playing Street Fighter. After a few fights (all of which Finn won), they started watching TV. Flipping through the channels, they saw pre-war movies and shows, all of which interested them.

Soon, they decided it was time for bed. Finn got a second sleeping bag out of the closet for Fionna. After slipping into their pajamas, Finn and Fionna got into their sleeping bags. They looked at each other endearingly, and touched foreheads.

Soon, they were fast asleep. They dreamed sweet dreams of the adventures they would have together. Before they went to sleep, they made plans to go beat up Ice King for making the fan fiction. PG, meanwhile, sat up in his bed writing math equations by candlelight, PB was reading a book on quantum physics, Marceline and Marshall Lee were fast asleep, and Ice King couldn’t sleep. He was rightfully fearing for his well-being.

It had been quite a day. Finn had met another human. And she was all he could ever ask for. And she was beautiful, with that bit of hair coming out her cute bunny hat. Fionna thought similar thoughts of Finn being handsome. Their lives were just beginning…

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