(The episode begins in the Ice Kingdom.)
Penguin: Wenk! (Sips drink)
Ice King: One, two, three... (He comes out, revealing he's wearing a Marceline wig.) (Singing) Gunter! Why did you Gunt my fries? I Gunted them, and they were mine. What kind of Gunt Gunts his Gunter's fries, and doesn't even Gunt him in the eyes? Gunter, there were tears there. If you Gunted them, would you even care? Gunter, do you even love me? (Gunter stares lovingly at Ice King.) (Speaking) It's rhetorical, Gunter. Marceline's songs are so good! Mmm... Maybe I can get Marceline to write a song with me! (The penguin pulls off Ice King's wig.) Man, if she helped me write a song like that, I'd be crushin' it nonstop with the princesses! Ooh, yeah! (The Ice King notices that the penguin is chewing on the wig.) Heh! Gunter, you cute little dummy. You know, Gunter, my song is gonna need some dope lyrics to lure the honeys in. Hmm. (Walks to a bookshelf and pulls out a book) Jay T. Dawgzone always says, "Ladies are drawn to bros with tortured pasts." And I've got a way tortured past! ...I think. I don't really... re... (Unsure) Hmm. (Flies up and grabs the penguin) Quickly, Gunter! To the "The Past" room! (Carrying the penguin, he flies down to the depths of his lair and arrives in a room full of various items.) Ah, yes. (He opens a drawer and takes out his scrapbook.) Lot of emotional, powerful stuff in here. (Sniffs it) Still wet with tears... I'll take some-a' these for lyrical inspiration. (Throws scrapbook on pile of junk) So where's Marceline living these days?
Ice King: A cave?? (Blows a small raspberry)
(Ice King flies out of his lair, carrying the penguin, an Omnichord, and a drumset. He's being viewed through binoculars.)
Finn: (Viewing Ice King) Well, well, well. Looks like the Ice King is up to bad biscuits, soldiers.
Fionna: Bad biscuits make the baker broke, bro.
Edana: Very suspicious...
Finn: Ice King, you make our job too easy. You ready to roll on this fool?
Fionna and Edana: Sir, yes, sir!
(Scene transition to Marceline's cave. Marceline is strumming her axe-bass. She notices Ice King coming in the cave through her window.)
Ice King: Hello? Anybody home?
Marceline: (To herself) No... (She goes outside her house.) What are you doing here? I told you not to come around me!
Ice King: (Laughs) Uh, yeah, I know, but... I was hoping you could help me write a song—one that could help me get some princess action.
Marceline: I'm not gonna help you pick up on chicks! I've got an anti-smoking benefit concert to prepare for!
Ice King: (Desperate) Come on! We could be a prog rock duo! I'll even split the fans with you. I get the princesses, and you get... whatever it is you're into. Sounds good, yeah, I think it does! (Beat; Marceline is scowling.) Ee-yoop!
(He laughs as he flies into her house. Marceline waves Gunter goodbye and follows Ice King. Gunter looks down in disappointment and walks away.)
Marceline: (Landing on porch; to Ice King) Hey!!
Ice King: Eh...
Marceline: Get outta here!!
Ice King: Wait! Just let me play you what I've written so far! (He unties his equipment and it falls to the ground.) (To himself) Oh. Dang it. Tangles in the cord. Sometimes this happens when you fly with it... Tangles are hard... (He grunts as he tries to untangle it. Marceline just stares.) Oh. Aw, aw, geez, no... Oh, no. (He lays on the ground, trapped in the tangled cord.) Ice King's in trouble. (She looks at him awkwardly.) (Grunts) (To Marceline) Hey, you know what? I'll just hum it for ya. (Hums a tune) Is that good?
(The door opens.)
Finn, Fionna, and Edana: Ice King!
Fionna: Oh... You got 'im.
Finn: Nice job, Marceline.
(Edana walks up to Ice King.)
Edana: (Talking with Kevin Conroy's Batman voice for some reason) Your constant harassment of the female gender makes me sick.
(Edana picks up Ice King. She, Fionna, and Finn start to walk off with him.)
Marceline: No, he can stay.
Finn, Fionna, and Edana: Wha?!
Ice King: Yeah, "Wha?!"
Marceline: It's alright. We're working on a song together. (She takes Ice King.)
Finn: You don't want us to... (Connects palm with fist) ...for you?
Marceline: No, it's okay. You guys can go. Besides, I said I would never hang out with guys again.
Fionna: You were serious?
Edana: I KNEW IT! YOU ARE WORKING FOR THE ANTI-HUMAN LEAGUE! TIME TO DIE!
Marceline: Relax! I was joking then, and I'm joking now! Of course we'll hang again!
(Finn, Fionna, and Edana begin to exit, confused.)
Finn: ...Okay... Well... I guess we'll see ya, then...
(They look around awkwardly.)
Finn, Fionna, and Edana: Bye... (They exit.)
Ice King: (To Marceline) You know, I kinda like bein' tied up in these cords. Kinda freak-aaaayyy!
(She immediately drops him.)
(Scene transition. Marceline plugs in and turns on the Omnichord.)
Marceline: So what kinda song're we playing?
Ice King: Ooh. I brought these [the scrapbook pages] for some inspiration. Just use these to work off of. Y'know, a template.
(She grabs a page. It's drenched in tears.)
(She plays the Omnichord.)
Ice King: Yeah. Yeah, that's good! Keep doin' that! (Ice King snaps to the music.) (Singing) Slime Princess, you're alright. Flame Princess, you're okay. Wildberry Princess could be better. All of the princesses are pretty alright, but... Oh, Bubblegum! You look like a lot of fun! I'm right outside, and that is how I know! Hey, princess, did you get my text with a picture of my awesome gun show? I'm also workin' on my pecs! If you like, I'll send a picture of that, too! Oh, Bubblegum! (Marceline looks uncomfortable.) I really need someone. (She sadly looks down.) Or anyone!(Saddening) ...Pretty much anyone. I'm so alone! (Activating ice magic) Won't somebody tell me what's wrong with me?! (Shooting frozen lightning bolts) Anybody! (Tearing up) Anybody! (Marceline turns at the sound of his distress.) (Speaking) Anybody!!! (Practically sobbing) Grod in the sky, please tell me why!!!
Marceline: Stop acting like this!!
Ice King: No, it's just startin' to get good!! (Shooting ice beams everywhere, singing) Anybody!! (Speaking)Princesses, I command you, love me!! Love me!! Love me!! (Crying) Love me!!
(She forces him to the ground.)
Marceline: (Direct) STOP ACTING CRAZY. And you think Edana is lovely? You're full-on pedophile!
Ice King: I JUST WANNA BE LOVED!! (Pushes her off forcefully) Uh-oh. I'm sorry I pushed you. (He goes to the kitchen and plants his head against the refrigerator in sadness.) Uh... oh... I'll just stay out of your way. (Climbs on refrigerator) Again, I'm sorry I pushed you.
(Marceline walks to the refrigerator and sighs. She then opens it and takes out an apple. Ice King's beard lightly rubs her head.)
Ice King: Whatcha got? An apple?
Marceline: (Frustrated) Ugh! (She drops the apple and just drops down and sits in front of the fridge. She rolls the apple away; the apple reaches the Omnichord and turns it on.) (Singing) You're so annoying, you pitiful old man. I'd like to help you, but I don't know if I can. I thought you were nuts, but you're really really really nuts. (Beat) Every time I move, eventually, you find me, and start hanging around. Just another lame excuse to see me. Man. It's getting me down. You know, I'm actually glad... to see you! (Speaking) Maybe I'm the one who's... (Sighing) nuts.
(The Omnichord switches off.)
Ice King: Hold on! (Drops from fridge) Do you... like me?!
Marceline: ...Of course I do, you old jerk!
Ice King: Really? ...Wow. (Wipes dirt off sleeve) How about... (Spreading arms out) one of these? (Marceline's scowl fades. She consents and hugs him, visibly bittersweet about it.) Ah! (They pull back and look at each other in the eyes. He puckers his lips.) Mwah, mwah, mwah...
Marceline: (Disgusted) AAAAAGH!!! Not like that!! You don't remember anything, do you... SIMON?
Ice King: What-mon?
Marceline: Why do you even come see me when you don't remember me?! You don't even know who you are!
Ice King: Yes, I do! I am a lyricist! (Pulling pages out) It's all here! On the page! The page in song, baby! On this receipt! On this takeout menu! On these newspapers! (Laughs)
(Marceline stares, devastated. A photo lands in her hands.)
Marceline: Huh? Look! This clipping! This was you, Simon! Before the War!
(The picture portrays a human Ice King walking out of a car ready to deliver the Enchiridion to a museum.)
Ice King: Huh? (He can't make heads or tails of it.) Heh?
The Crown (Voice of Kevin Michael Richardson): If you say you do remember, I'll self-destruct and kill you!
(Marceline hurries to look for something else. She finds a picture of herself as a child and gasps.)
Marceline: You! You took this picture! Grr, you've scribbled all over it... Huh? (She reads the back of the photo, visibly in great shock.)
Ice King: Ooh, ooh, are they good lyrics? (Grabbing Omnichord) I'll get the keyboard!
Marceline: What? (In desperation) Wait, listen!
Ice King: (Sets Omnichord up) Yeah, let's go! What's it say? Sing out, sister!
(Marceline reads the message again, then stares at Ice King, not sure what to do.)
Marceline: (Singing and reading note) "Marceline, is it just you and me in the wreckage of the world? That must be so confusing for a little girl. And I know you're going to need me here with you... but I'm losing myself, and I'm afraid you're going to lose me, too..."
Ice King: Ooh, yeah! Keep it going! (Goes to drumset)
Marceline: (Looking for another photo) Oh! Um... (Singing and reading note) "This magic keeps me alive, but it's making me (Pulling hair back, stressed out) crazy, and I need to save you, but who's going to save me? Please forgive me for whatever I do (Marceline shrinks in devastation) ...when I don't remember you."
Ice King: (Happy) Wow! I wrote that?! Hot stuff!
Marceline: What?! You don't remember what it means?! (She grabs another photo and shows it to him. She tears up as her voice breaks.) Look!
Ice King: (Reads note while singing) "Marceline, I can feel myself slipping away. I can't remember what it made me say... but I remember that I saw you frown. I swear, it wasn't me. It was the crown. (He frowns and looks confused, but then ignores it.) This magic keeps me—"
Ice King and Marceline: (Singing together) "—alive, but it's making me crazy, (Marceline begins shedding tears.)and I want to save you, but who's going to save me?! Please forgive me for..."
(Finn, Fionna, and Edana are still in the cave. Finn is looking in the house with his binoculars.)
Fionna: What is goin' on in there?!
Finn: (Takes binoculars off) Song-writing. In that first song, Ice King said you're lovely, Edana.
Edana: No...THAT PEDOPHILE! I'LL KILL HIM!
Ice King and Marceline: (Singing together) "...Please forgive me for whatever I do... when I don't remember you."
(As the music continues (and Ice King and Marceline sing, "Da da... da da... da da..."), the scene flashes back to New York City just after the fourth and final Iranian missile hit. It looks dismal and there are ruined buildings and burning, skinned, or mutilated corpses everywhere. All electronics still work, as the EMP theory was disproven. A child Marceline cries. Simon Petrikov returns to her and wipes her tears in recompense for leaving her alone. He walks to a ruined store and grabs a teddy bear. He goes back and gives the toy to Marceline to make further amends, and she smiles sweetly. The episode ends.)