Young Princess Bubblegum: My king... (We see Finn's POV as he opens his eyes.) My king? (Lovingly) ...Wake up, husband.
Finn: (Small groan) What??
(Finn is revealed to be in the Candy Kingdom throne room and wearing a big crown, clones of Prince Gumball are lined up.)
Candy Soldiers: Long live the king!
Finn: What... is... goin' on? (Finn's crown suddenly rises from his head.)
Young Princess Bubblegum: Hm. Not much.
Clone Troopers (Who suddenly replace the Candy Soldiers, with Temuera Morrison's voice): Long live the king!
(A crowned worm rises on Princess Bubblegum's shoulder.)
King Worm: Wowowowowowow...
Finn: Hey... do I know you? (Finn reaches for it, but it quickly escapes.) Hey... I know that guy!
(Princess Bubblegum's face appears in the back of her head.)
Princess Bubblegum: (To Peppermint Butler) He doesn't know he's dreaming.
Finn: Huh? (Dream shift) Huh??
(Finn is now sitting in front of normal Flame Princess (As in, the Flame Princess in the normal series).)
Finn: Who the heck are you?!
Flame Princess: I'm Flame Princess, remember?
Finn: You are not Edana!
Flame Princess: Edana? That's not my name! It's Phoebe!
Finn: What did you do with my girlfriend?!
Flame Princess: What? You're cheating on me? Your wife?
Finn: Wife? You look like Edana's Fire Form crossed with Fionna in some unholy, fanservice-y, walking atomic bomb!
Flame Princess: Fionna? You mean Ice King's ridiculous fanfiction?
Flame Princess: That war with the Nut Kingdom is making you delirious. Come on now, honey. Eat your soup.
Finn: War with the Nut Kingdom? You mean that one fanfic series that one guy made back in 2011 that everyone loved? I'll admit, I loved it, too.
Flame Princess: Finn. Soup. Now.
Finn: Soup? This looks like swill with human flesh! If you killed humans just to make this, I'll kill you where you stand!
Flame Princess (Voice suddenly changes to Patrick Warburton;s): EAT IT, OR BY THE POWERS OF NAUGHTINESS, I COMMAND MY FIREPOWERS TO BE REALLY, REALLY, HOT!!!
(Finn cautiously does so and smiles.)
Finn: Mmm... hmm... What kind of—AAAH! How... did we get here? (Flame Princess now has three mouths and is singing the "Dallas Cowboys Stampede March".) Uh... Dallas Cowboys? No way! I don't watch football! NASCAR for life! Huh? (The spoon is now King Worm.) You!
(Flame Princess is now Peppermint Butler.)
Peppermint Butler: You haven't much time, sir.
Finn: What?? What happened to that Discount Edana? Or whatever her name is. Phoebe, was it?
(Peppermint Butler now has a tiny head jutting from his body.)
Second peppermint head: You are trapped in a dream.
Peppermint Butler: And you are in danger. (Finn scowls. Peppermint Butler's face get's scratched off. His hand starts talking.) You need to find this worm and break it.
Finn: Find the worm? But... you've got 'im right there! (Gasps)
(The worm is once again the spoon. Ed appears in Peppermint Butler's pants.)
Ed: *gasp* I have been transported into another dimension! They will capture me for their experiments and sacrifice me to appease their god!
Peppermint Butler: Dude. You read too many comics.
(Peppermint Butler throws the spoon at Finn, who is now in the library.)
Finn: Huh? Huh? Huh? (Finn notices Fionna in a window in a bookshelf. She's struggling to wrap a present.) Fionna?
(Next to her is Prince Gumball. H starts blowing tape out his "tape hole.")
Prince Gumball: (Voice of Michael Gross) Hold down the tape until it fully sticks to the paper.
Fionna: Like this?
Prince Gumball: Yes, but now try holding it higher.
Fionna: Like this?
Prince Gumball: You need more tape. (Dispenses more tape out of his hole.) Use this. (Fionna takes the tape and wraps it around the present.) Now, tape the bottom.
(Fionna does so.)
Fionna: Who's it for?
Prince Gumball: Who's it for?
Fionna: .....It's for... um... Mordecai and Rigby?
Rigby: (off-screen) You leave us out of it!
(A transparent Finn glides in front of Finn saying, "It's for meeee!")
Prince Gumball: Play this.
Fionna: (Taking oboe) Uh... okay.
(Fionna starts playing terribly. A music note comes out of the oboe and becomes the worm.)
Finn: The worm! (Another transparent Finn glides across the real one saying, "The worm!" in an incredibly high-pitched voice. Finn tries to catch it but it goes into a mouse hole.) (Impatiently) Worm... worm... Woyyym! Worm!!
Fionna: Finn! Aw, bro, is it really you?
Finn: (Turns around) FIONNA! (Hugs Fionna)
Fionna: I'm trapped in this dream, and I can't wake up!
Finn: Me, too! I was just in some other part of the dream with Princess Bubblegum and someone claiming to be Edana, though she looked like a cross between you and Edana's Fire Form, like a discount version of Edana, and her name wasn't Edana at all. It was Phoebe.
Fionna: You're cheating on Edana?
Finn: What?! (Floats towards Fionna) No, it wasn't like that!
Fionna: I'm not saying it was. That imposter probably comes from another dimension.
Finn: She claimed you were a work of Ice King's fanfiction.
Fionna: WHAT?! IF THAT'S TRUE IN REAL LIFE, IT'S OPEN SEASON ON THAT PERVERT!
(PG gapes at Finn making a deep noise.)
Finn: ...Gumball's got two mouths...
Prince Gumball (Voice of Jim Parsons now): GOOD LORD! HOW YOU FRUSTRATE ME, LEONARD HOFSTADTER!!!!
Fionna: Mm-hmm. I don't think he's real.
Finn: Weird... (He feels his "tape hole." Fionna pinches him.) Ouch! What was that for?
Fionna: Just wanted to make sure you were real. Our dreams must be linked for some reason.
Finn: Have you seen Edana?
Fionna: No. I think she isn't linked.
Finn: Whoa... Well... Pep-but told me we gotta find that worm that crawled through that hole and break it. (Scratches head) (Speaking incredibly fast) In my dream— (Speaking normally) In my dream... suddenly, an unimaginably amazing sword appeared in front of me able to blast the hole open. (The sword appears.) Rad! (Laughs) I usually dream of messed-up stuff, like a shark tryina' bite off my face.
(The blade of the sword turns into a shark. The shark roars like Gamera. Finn shrieks, and the air behind him begins to crack.)
Fionna: Careful! If you grunk up the dreamscape with your subconscious fears, the whole thing'll blow apart!
Fionna: Just shrink down like Jake
(The Shark Sword disappears.)
Finn: And then I shrunk down like Jake. (Does so)
(Finn and Fionna enter the mouse hole. Scene shifts to a tunnel underground. As Finn and Fionna talk, their voices echo as if they were in metal chambers.)
Finn: How do you know so much about dreams and stuff?
Fionna: Read one of Princess Bubblegum's studies.
Finn: Heh heh. Oh, yeah.
(Finn and Fionna emerge from a hole in the ground, apparently normal size now. Ice King comes up to them after going in the opposite direction over a mountain.)
Ice King: Tomoya, Nagisa, I need your help!
Finn: WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL US?!
Ice King: I really did it this time! They're loose, and they're coming for us!
(Quacks are heard from far away. A monster composed entirely of merged penguins appears.)
Finn and Fionna: AAH! FORESHADOWING!
(They both run away. Ice King simply runs in circles.)
(Yoda is seen sitting nearby.)
Fionna: Help us!
(He says nothing. Fionna and Finn look at each other.)
Finn: Maybe he's not really... real.
(Finn and Fionna stop in front of him.)
Fionna: Master Yoda, are you okay?
(Yoda wordlessly opens a case and gets yarn and knitting needles out. He starts knitting a scarf.)
Fionna: Yoda, why are you using knitting needles?! Can't you just use the Force?
Finn: That scarf looks... familiar...
(The scarf turns into the full sized King Worm. It quickly crawls away.)
Finn: Man! The worm is fast!
Fionna: Yeah, it's nuts! Fast as nuts.
Finn: Well, let's catch it with... (Finn and Fionna make their legs bigger.) ...some big ol' legs!
Fionna: Well... that's kinda boring for me... 'cuz that's my normal power, you know?
Finn: What? You don't have stretchy powers.
Fionna: What do you m--wait...I don't have stretchy powers...WHAT AM I DOING?!?!?!
Finn: Calm down, Fionna! Think! How do we get to him?
Fionna: With wings...I guess. Sorry, I'm just a little out of it after suddenly having false memories imprinted on me.
Finn: Then you get... birds!
(Fionna is now able to fly, with Superman's cape on and the John Williams Superman theme. They pursue the worm up a mountain. Star Fox flies by. It starts raining chocolate.)
Tay Zonday (singing): Chocolate rain! Some stay dry and others feel the pain.
Finn: Ay ay ay ay ay!
Fionna: Remember, this is just a dream! Keep climbing!
(They go further up the mountain to the snowy part. It's now snowing spaghetti.)
Gay Luigi: Lotsa spaghetti!
Finn: These cameos are getting out of hand!
(Finn and Fionna find a frozen King Worm.)
Finn: Now what?
Fionna: Break it!
(Neptune falls from the sky and slices the worm with a sword.)
Finn: Thanks, Neptune!
Neptune: (voice of Melissa Fahn) No prob! Say, you got any pudding on you?
Fionna: Uh, not the brand Compa spoils you with.
Neptune: NOOOOOO!!!! Wait, how do you know who Compa is?
Finn: Uh, hello? We play the games.
Neptune: Oh, okay, that's fair.
Fionna: I didn't like Victory, though.
Neptune: Was it because I was such a jerk towards Nepgear?
Old Man in Scene 24: Get on with it!
Tim the Enchanter: Yes! Get on with it!
English Army: Yes! Get on with it!
Neptune: Well, I think I've cameoed on this show for long enough. Gotta go!
Finn: See ya, Neptune! Hope Toonami licenses your new anime!
God: GET ON WITH IT!
Neptune: Alright, alright! Sheesh.
(As Neptune starts to disappear, the dream itself melts into nothingness. Finn and Fionna are now in bed, awaking with a start. Edana wakes up because of the noise.)
Edana: WHO'S THERE?! I'M A PROFESSIONAL KICKBOXER!
SpongeBob: I don't care if you're the demon seed of Davey Jones! You're going down, Tubby!
Edana: I'll repeat: WHAT? What are you doing on this network?!
SpongeBob: Uhhhh...I dunno.
Edana: GET OUT.
Finn: Fionna, are you okay?
Fionna: Yeah. Are you?
Finn: Yeah. I'm okay.
Edana: What's going on?
Finn: Edana! Thank glob! I had a weird dream with a girl claiming to be you! And when she got angry, she sounded like Putty from Seinfeld!
Fionna: Looks like we made it back from the Dreamscape alright.
Both: We did it!
Fionna: Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Finn: Yeah, yeah, yeah! ...Hmm. (Noticing his reflection) Was that... was that mirror always like that? (They walk to the mirror; Finn sees Dan from Dan Vs.) I'm pretty sure this is not normal.
Dan: UNHAND ME, CARTOON NETWORK! MY CORPORATE PAYMASTERS AT HUB NETWORK WILL MAKE SURE YOU'RE SUED TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH FOR THIS!
Fionna: (Now taking on the form of Asuka Langely Soryu) Nope, it's fine. I mean, what are you, stupid?!
Finn: AAH! (A cup falls and shatters on the ground, then rises up un-shattered, repeatedly.) Fionna, I think we're still dreaming! And now Edana's been sucked in! And you've turned into a tsundere!
Fionna: Ah, it's fine. Just smoke and mirrors.
Tom Servo (Off-screen, same voice as in MST3K): Probably the work of David Copperfield.
Crow: (Off-screen, same as Tom) Tom...when did we get here?
Edana: ENOUGH WITH THE GRATUITOIS CAMEOS ALREADY!
Slappy Squirrel: That's my line!
Edana: WHAAAAAAT?!!!! Grrrr...okay, fine, fine, cool, I'm fine. And that's another thing that doesn't make sense! Why do we all keep talking with other people's voices?!
Finn: (Dan stomps away, grumbling.) You sure know a lot about dream stuff... (Looks closer at her.) You pinched me earlier, but I never pinched you.
(Finn chases Fionna. The floor suddenly becomes the wall.)
Fionna: (Calmly) Everything's normal. (Finn pinches her. Fionna starts to melt.) (Voice getting lower) Everything's norrrmaaaal....
(Dream shift to the entrance room.)
Finn: It's still a dream. Hmmm... Huh?!
(Fionna's remains suddenly turn into a laughing King Worm. Finn and Edana gasp.)
King Worm: Hey, guys... (Chuckles)
Transparent Finn: Hey, guys!
(Finn tries to throw the shattered, but now un-shattered cup at the worm, but it simply goes around him and comes back at Finn.)
Finn: Why're you jankin' up our dreamscape!?
Edana: Release us NOW!
King Worm: (Calmly) Listen, don't worry about it.
Finn: (In disbelief) WHAT?!
Edana: Why shouldn't we?
King Worm: You can't defeat me... I'm the king worm. I'm going to keep you in this dreamscape until I've consumed... all your... (Smaller version of himself appears in his mouth)
Smaller King Worm: ...Life energy!
Finn: My life energy?! I use that! Aaagh! (Finn charges. His actions are now being represented via a "long, undulating snake.") Wait... something's wrong. I'm missing something. (Furious) Worm!! (Suddenly discouraged) Oh, man... I'm gonna be stuck here... forever. Why are you doing this?
King Worm: The Anti-Human League hired me for a huge fortune!
Finn: CURSE YOU, AQUA-SCUM! Wait, what did I just say?
Edana: See, what did I tell you?! We're all speaking in different voices!
(The air again cracks. The crack reaches the ceiling and the ceiling begins to crack. A piece of the ceiling falls and hits King Worm on the head.)
King Worm: Ouch! Hey, guys!
Transparent Finn: Hey, guys!
King Worm: Knock it off!
Pictured Fionna: Psst. If you grunk up the dreamscape with your subconscious fears, the whole thing'll blow apart!
Finn: Hmm? Oh, yeah! Thanks, dream Fionna! (Smashes him with a jug; the picture frame becomes many tiny Gumby's and Pokey's. Finn's actions once again become a "long, undulating snake.") GET READY TO EAT IT!
King Worm: Wowowowowowowow...
Finn: Okay, Finn... Concentrate. Deepest... gut... fears!
(The screen is black. A baby Finn is seen. "Kitty!" Fear Feaster opens a case. Finn gasps. He's now inside of a green room which resembles King Worm. Water starts pouring out of his belly button.)
Finn: Oh, gross! (A small fish pops out, too. Finn tastes the water.) The ocean. (Finn starts panicking and screaming.) Okay... Okay, that wasn't so bad. (The Lich pops out of his belly button.) AAAAH!! OH, GLOB! THE LICH!!
The Lich (Voice of Ian McDiarmid): I've waited a long time for this!
King Worm: (Now shriveled up) (Coughs) Hey, why don't you sit down, or pass out or something?
(The Lich laughs maniacally, hurling fire balls at Finn.)
The Lich: You will not stop me! I will grow stronger than you can possibly imagine!
(Princess Bubblegum comes out of Finn's belly.)
Finn: Bubblegum! WAAA-HOOO!
Princess Bubblegum: Finn, shush! I'm having coffee with the Lich. You wouldn't understand. You're too young! AND I WILL NEVER, EVER LOVE YOU, HUMAN! I WILL TURN YOU, FIONNA, AND EDANA OVER TO THE ANTI-HUMAN LEAGUE! (Her cup of coffee suddenly explodes with the Lich's power.)
The Lich (Voice is now that of Seth McFarlane's Palpatine voice): I'm sorry, Bubblegum, I have to take this call. (picks up phone) Vader! How's my favorite Sith! (beat) Woah, woah, woah, slow down! What? What do you mean they blew up the Death Star?
Edana: Okay, let's keep that on Adult Swim.
(Finn screams in utter terror. King Worm coughs.)
Finn: SO MUCH SCREAMING!!!
(Finn's bed legs suddenly come out of his belly button. Finn lays in the bed in helpless fright as the Ghost Lady comes towards him. Finn falls out of the bed and lays on the floor panting.)
Finn: (To King Worm, who is now incredibly shriveled up) Had enough... destabilization?
King Worm: I don't... (Coughs) ...know what you're talking about...
(Pennywise the Clown pops out of Finn's belly button.)
Pennywise: KISS ME, FATBOY!
Edana: Oh my glob, it's TIM CURRY!
(Finn lets out a small scream.)
Finn: DO YOU GIVE?!
King Worm: You wish.
Finn: Well then, prepare for...THE UNEXPECTED!
(The Spanish Inquisition enters.)
Cardinal Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.
Finn: PREPARE FOR THE UNEXPECTED!
(The Spanish Inquisition re-enters.)
Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red uniforms - (To Cardinal Biggles) I can't say it - you'll have to say it.
Ximinez: You'll have to say the bit about 'Our chief weapons are ...'
Biggles: [rather horrified]: I couldn't do that...
[Ximinez bundles the cardinals outside again]
Finn: (Flatly) Prepare for the unexpected.
[The cardinals enter]
Biggles: Er.... Nobody...um....
Biggles: Expects... Nobody expects the...um...the Spanish...um...
Biggles: I know, I know! Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. In fact, those who do expect -
Ximinez: Our chief weapons are...
Biggles: Our chief weapons are...um...er...
Biggles: Surprise and --
Ximinez: Okay, stop. Stop. Stop there - stop there. Stop. Phew! Ah! ... our chief weapons are surprise...blah blah blah. Cardinal, read the charges.
Fang: You are hereby charged that you did on diverse dates commit heresy against the Holy Church. 'My old man said follow the--'
Biggles: That's enough. (To King Worm) Now, how do you plead?
King Worm: I'm innocent.
Ximinez: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Biggles: We'll soon change your mind about that!
Ximinez: Fear, surprise, and a most ruthless-- [controls himself with a supreme effort] Ooooh! Now, Cardinal -- the rack!
(Biggles produces a plastic-coated dish-drying rack. Ximinez looks at it and clenches his teeth in an effort not to lose control. He hums heavily to cover his anger)
Ximinez: You....Right! Tie her down.
Finn: Can you guys not tell a guy from a gal?
(Fang and Biggles make a pathetic attempt to tie King Worm on to the drying rack)
Ximinez:Right! How do you plead?
King Worm: Innocent.
Ximinez: Ha! Right! Cardinal, give the rack (oh dear) give the rack a turn.
(Biggles stands their awkwardly and shrugs his shoulders)
Ximinez: (gritting his teeth) I *know*, I know you can't. I didn't want to say anything. I just wanted to try and ignore your crass mistake.
Ximinez: It makes it all seem so stupid.
Biggles: Shall I...?
Ximinez: No, just pretend for God's sake. Ha! Ha! Ha!
King Worm: That's it! I've taken all I can!
(The dreamscape finally gets destroyed. Finn is now in the entrance room with Fionna and Edana, in front of King Worm, surrounded by smaller worms. The small worms vanish.)
King Worm: I don't feel so good.
Finn: GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, KING WORM! (King Worm groans and exits.) (To Fionna) Is it really you... this time?
Fionna: Yeah, bros. Actual Fionna.
Finn: Cool... (Pinching Fionna) Pinch.
Fionna: Ow, bro, come on!
Finn: I'm just checkin'! ...Just checkin'. Now...seriously, who are Tomoya and Nagisa?!
(Cuts to a TV, which is being watched by Tomoya and Nagisa from CLANNAD.)
Tomoya (voice of David Matranga): Did they just reference us?
Nagisa (voice of Luci Christian): I...don't know what to believe anymore...
(Fuko rises from behind the couch.)
Fuko (voice of Hillary Haag'): Believe in the starfi--
Freakazoid (appearing suddenly, voice of Paul Rugg): NO!!!! GET OUT OF HERE WITH THOSE STARFISH!!!! LAY OFF THE POOR COUPLE, WILL YA!?!?! SHEESH!!! YOU'RE A CREEP!!!!!! GO AWAY!!!!! WE WERE HAVING A GOOD TIME UNTIL YOU SHOWED UP, FUKO!!!!! UUUUUUGH!!!! GO HAVE SOME COFFEE, WITH CREAM, OR SOMETHING!!!! BECAUSE I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING!!!! THIS IS A HAPPY PLACE!!!!
(Cuts back to the Tree Fort)
Neptune: Can I come on for another cameo?
Neptune: I'll bring Noire next time!
Finn: No. It'd be too dangerous given that homophobic gang down by the river.
Neptune: Then how about Blanc?
Fionna: Oh, Glob, no! She'll mop the floor with Ice King! Literally! She'll use his blood to clean her floors!
Neptune: Then Vert?
Edana: I'd rather not feel...inadequate, if you know what I mean.
Neptune: Then what? What will convince you to let me on for another cameo?! I'll be nicer to Nepgear in the next game!
Fionna: Nothing. Because you were just a one-time thing.
Edana: Glob knows there were too many cameos in this episode. Oh no...I'M BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL!!!! CURSE YOU, NEPTUNE!!!!!!!
Neptune: Okay, I can see you're having an episode. I'll just show myself back to Gamindustri.
Finn: What just happened?
Fionna: I think...we just gained the same awareness Marceline has...for the viewing audience.
(Both look at the viewer.)
Finn: YOU PEOPLE ARE SICK! MAKING ALL THIS FANFICTION OF ME AND FIONNA DOING STUFF I CAN'T SAY ON BASIC CABLE! Ugh, just cut to the ending, Pen. PLEASE. If you need me, I'll be hunting down whoever came up with the YouTube Poop genre, which this episode was CLEARLY influenced by.
Edana: I'm coming, too! This is fifteen minutes of my life I'll never get back!
Fionna: She's right. This episode DID run overtime.
(Cuts a now-healed King Worm)
King Worm: I guess we should go bother Marceline again.
Marshall Lee (Off-screen): YOU WISH!