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NOTE: This is SUPPOSED to be rediculously implausible, though it seems like something you'd expect LSP to do. Also Fubblegum-driven (yes, even I think it's still salvageable). A little Finn#? too (# means family; I hope it catches on!).
RATED T FOR INSANE LSP (YAY! XD).
Lumpy Space Princess couldn't believe it. Those Candy People had just stolen her song! She went BERSERK!
"YOU LUMPIN' IDIOTS! YOU STOLE MY SONG! I'LL KILL YOU!" she shouted in pure rage.
The girls all screamed and tried to run, but LSP cut off their escape route and lit a match. She then got out a bottle of liquor, drank some, then spit it out in front of the lit match. The girls went up in a massive fireball, their screams quickly silenced. LSP could have stopped, but she was blinded by rage now. She turned to Peppermint Butler, pulled out an axe, and chopped him in half. Maniacal laughter followed. Little Mark fell victim next, as LSP ripped his innards out.
She turned to the panicked crowd, who started to run. But LSP wouldn't let them go. She pulled out a gun and began to fire...just as Finn & Jake came in.
"Holy schmow!" shouted Finn, "What's LSP doing?"
"I WILL DESTROY EVERYONE WHO CROSSES MY PATH!" screamed LSP.
Finn looked in pure shock. He saw what was left of Lollipop Girl, Mark's mutilated remains, Peppermint Butler's two halves trying to pull each other back together, and the slain bodies of Chet and Pineapple Guy. But then he saw something that pushed him off the deep end.
LSP opened fire on Princess Bubblegum. She only winged her, but nevertheless, she went down on the ground. LSP then pulled out a rocket launcher and prepared to fire.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Finn, as he pulled out Jake's Family Sword. Finn charged at LSP. Too little, too late. LSP fired the rocket. Finn kicked it, trying to direct it back at LSP. It did make it lose a ton of speed, enough not to kill PB, but it would still explode.
Everything happened at once. The rocket exploded, and Finn impaled LSP. With a satisfied look on his face, he saw the fire left over from the explosion. He gasped in horror, fearing the worst.
Jake put out the fire with his buttocks. While he did, Finn could swear he could hear a girl howling in pain nearby. "LSP must have put some Flame Princess flames in that thing." commented Finn.
At last, the fire was out. Finn gasped, and a shriek could be heard on the horizon. Jake looked towards the direction of the scream to see the Earl of Lemongrab. Meanwhile, Finn stared blankly at PB. The rocket's explosion seemed to have been hot enough to de-age her to 14.
Finn knew Lemongrab would be around any moment now. "Come out and fight me, Lemongrab!" shouted Finn. PB came to when she heard that.
"CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!" shouted Lemongrab, as he ran at Finn, sword drawn. At the same time, Finn saw Flame Princess burst in out of nowhere and charge at Lemongrab.
"What the-" said Finn before he saw FP make a sword out of fire.
"Stay back, child. I-I don't wish to fight you. W-w-why are you doing this?" quivered Lemongrab, who was deathly scared of the Fire Kingdom.
"Because," replied FP, "I just want to see Finn happy. He saved my life TWICE, and I owe him a great debt. In return, I'll save his love life."
Finn was touched by FP's random act of kindness. He got his sword and went alongside FP.
Lemongrab stood there, glancing between Finn and FP. "No...no! NO! IT CAN'T BE!" cried Lemongrab.
"What can't be?" asked Finn and FP in unison.
"I thought I killed you, Fionna!"
"WHAT?!" shouted FP.
"HOW?!" shouted Finn.
"You see, Flame Princess is actually a human girl named Fionna. And since I'm about to kill you both, I should tell you both now...that you are twins."
Finn and FP looked at each other, and saw the resemblence.
"They'll never find out that for Fionna to become human again, she must remove the gem on her head!" Unfortunately for LG, he said that aloud.
"That's all I needed to hear!" said FP, as she removed the gem on her forehead.
FP quickly changed into the Fionna we all know and love, bunny hat, Mary Jane shoes and everything. Even Cake's Family Sword (wherever Cake was).
"This just got personal, ya lemon-headed lunkhead!" said Fionna, sword drawn.
"Make it double for keeping my sister from me!" added Finn.
It was Finn and Fionna vs. Lemongrab! Wait a minute. I've just recieved late-breaking word of additional contestants. It appears PB will be one of them. But who's the other? Oh no. FLAME KING!
"Where's The Lich? I need to tell him that our plan has failed due to SOMEBODY letting the truth slip!" shouted FK.
"Do what you want with him," said 14-year old PB, "He is useless. Has been since I created him. And all he did was cause anguish for Finn by forcing me to become 18 again! And, I know he was really affected by it, and, I'm so sorry Finn."
"It's alright, PB. It's...really alright." replied Finn.
"I...I love you."
"Are we done with the soap opera?" said FK impatiently, "I've got a land to burn until it's suitable to my tastes!"
"HERE'S YOUR SOAP OPERA!" shouted Finn, Fionna, and PB in unison. And all at once, they somehow got buckets of water and splashed FK with it.
"OH GLOB! WHAT A WORLD! WHAT A WORLD! I KNEW My karma would catch up with me when I made that pact with the lich..."
And with that, Flame King was dead.
All of a sudden, they heard a scream. LSP was up for another round!
"I thought I killed you!" shouted Finn at LSP.
"I THOUGHT I KILLED YOU!!" screamed LSP at PB.
"I thought Finn killed you!" shouted PB at LSP.
"I thought Werewolf King was going to defeat the Fire King." said Fionna. LSP and LG looked on unamused, while Finn and PB laughed.
And now: OOO SWORDFIGHTING WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!
The fight is on!
Gold Team is charging at Black Team. Nice form by Finn. PB seems to be a natural at this! Fionna with a merciless thrust to LG's chest! DENIED!
3 Minutes later...
AND THAT'S IT! BLACK TEAM IS DEAD!
"Well, this is a grand turnaround for me. Lemongrab is dead, LSP is in a better place, I learned I'm not the last human, and now a girl truly loves me." said Finn.
"This is possibly the greatest day of my life" said Fionna as she hugged Finn, which Finn immediately returned.
PB said nothing. She just kissed Finn on the lips.
And with that, Finn's life was complete.
And now for something completely different: a man with three buttocks.