So, the holidays are coming up. And I decided to write an Adventure Time narrative. And by narrative, I mean Grinch rip-off. It's a wondrous story with drama, laughs, and maybe even Neil Patrick Harris. Okay, there won't be Neil Patrick Harris, but y'all should watch anyway. Also, the images I'm going to be making are gonna be bad, but I made them in three seconds so I could get this gosh darn story done. Shelby's the narrator, by the way. So everything in quotes is said by him. Anything bolded is not meant to rhyme, but just to inform. So now I bring you "How the Ice King Stole Grodsgiving". Enjoy!
Finn was seen setting up decorations and Jake was seen making tacos.
"On this day is Grodsgiving Eve, where all try to be good and avoid being naïve. 'Finn,' started Jake, with a recipe book in his hand, 'soft-shell or hard-shell, which is more bland?' 'Hard shell no doubt!', declared Finn with a bounce, 'so what do you want for Grodsgiving this time around?' 'Doesn't matter to me,' said Jake, 'but I need something for Lady. Maybe some mini-violas for our upcoming babies!' What is Grodsgiving, you ask? Why it's the best time of year! It's the day Grod comes down to give presents and spread cheer."
Peppermint Butler was seen writing on a piece of paper.
"Like Pepbutt for instance, he wants a bronze sword."
Cinnamon Bun was writing a list of his own. "Or Cinnamon Bun, who wants a friend for when he's bored."
Lady Rainicorn was seen rubbing her stomach.
"Lady wants her younglings to have brand new toys."
BMO stood in the Treehouse, looking in the mirror.
"All BMO wants is to be a little living boy."
Princess Bubblegum stared at the incompetent Banana Guards, watching videos on the monitors instead of working.
"Princess Bubblegum just wants guards who won't fail."
Lemongrab was seen with his clone, as they were playing catch with flattened volley ball.
"And Lemongrab just wants to spend time with his pal."
The scene panned out to show the a hill in the Ice Kingdom. "But there's one guy who hates this holiday, he's no need to fear, though. It's the Ice King, Ooo's biggest weirdo."
Ice King was seen looking down angrily at the Candy Kingdom.
"'It's not fair!', the blue turd muttered, waving his fist. 'Grod never gets me the the gifts that I insist! The gifts he's given to others have been perfect and countless! Yet he leaves me hanging when I want just one frickin' Princess!' The reasons this icy hermit hates Grodsgiving is unknown, but there have been many guesses, and predictions alone. It could be that his tights were sewn together too tight."
Ice King was seen scratching his backside.
"Or maybe that his crown didn't fit on just right."
Ice King then adjusted his crown.
"But the most likely reason of all, is that his brain was two sizes too small."
A close up of Ice King's brain was shown.
"The Ice King stared down at the candy people, prancing around and chuckling. 'I must stop my Grodsgiving from sucking!' And so the Ice King got an awful idea, an awful, pretty messed up idea. 'I know what I'll do!', said the creeper out loud, 'I'll steal everyone else's gifts, that will make me feel proud!' So he took to his ice castle and took out some cardboard. He painted it purple, and then tied it together with some old cord. He then made plastered arms, and tied them to the body with lace. Lastly, he made a four sided mask, with a crudely painted face. "I look totally math!', the Ice King declared, 'now all I need is a Cosmic Owl,' as he turned to Gunter and stared. 'Wank?', muttered Gunter, as Ice King pulled him aside. Ice King pulled out a small costume, but Gunter denied. 'Now sweetie, hold still, and put on this cute little costume!' Gunter denied again, and walked off to his bedroom. 'Gunter!' Ice King shouted, and walked in to see Gunter jumping on his bed. 'You'll put on this golden, winged costume I made from my own thread!' Gunter looked down sadly, as he put the costume on. 'Now let's get going, Gunter, before night turns to dawn!'
Ice King waddled outside in his crude costume, and sat on Gunter's back, who was being crushed.
"'Now fly, Gunter, fly towards the Candy Kingdom!', but Gunter was being crushed, gasping for freedom. Ice King took off his mask and fluffed out his beard. He stepped off of Gunter, before things had gotten weird. Ice King flew with his beard, 'fine, I'll fly for us both! You know Gunter, you gotta stop being a lazy old loaf.' The two flew towards the kingdom and landed on the ground. Ice King put on his mask, trying not to make sounds. He entered the castle, and visited several candy people's rooms. He was taking the presents, much to other's dooms. The banana guards had fallen asleep, so Ice King's plan continued. It seemed that tonight gifts were the only thing on his menu. He stole from Pepbutt, PB, and more. He even stole the Marshmallow Kids' candy flavored door. He stole Chocoberry's lip gloss, and Starchy's walker. Ice King hadn't realized that he was being a huge stalker. Some weights from Mr. Cupcake and some skates from Manfried. He even stole medical equipment from Dr. Ice Cream. After he finished visiting every room in the castle, Ice King had every gift, without there being a hassle. Ice King and Gunter escaped without anyone waking up. Not even Princess Bubblegum knew what was up. 'I bunked everyone over!' Ice King cheered as he danced, 'let's visit every room in Ooo, since we still have a chance.'
Ice King was then shown flying to several other Kingdoms.
"And so it begun; Ice King was stealing Grodsgiving. What he did that day was plain unforgiving. He visited every room in Ooo, just to steal their gifts. Such a fruitcake indeed, if you catch my drift. He stole pie mix from Tree Trunks and shoes from Mr. Pig. He stole mittens from Hot Dog Princess, as he danced an icy jig. He took books from Turtle Princess, and rice cakes from the Lemongrabs. He even stole perfume from beneath Slime Princess' flab. He stole helmets from Marauders, and candles from Flame Princess. He took Mrs. Cow's newest cotton knitted dress. He took crops from the Goblins, and new glasses from Phil. He took a magic boot from Magic Man, and Muscle Princess' treadmill. He stole Tiffany's anarchy video game, and Xergiok's harley. He took Choose Goose's riddle book, and a bass from his old friend Marcy. A pet gnome for Prismo, and a suit from the Duke of Nuts. He took Donny's new pants, revealing his butt. He headed to Lumpy Space, to pull some more ploys. He entered a garage and began to steal a car, before he heard a noise. Then before his eyes he saw little LSP, who had desperately and most certainly to go pee. 'What the lump are you doing?!' she demanded. Ice King tried to think of a lie, and... 'Gunter, get the car,' he commanded. Ice King froze LSP, as Gunter jump in the car. 'Go, go, go!', as they drove farther than far. Ice King had one more house to visit, one more to steal from. 'And that's the house of Finn and Jake, the two Grodsgiving bums!' He took a golden sword from Finn and a sandwich from Jake. He even stole hardware from BMO, risking the robots fate! After visiting this house, he retreated to the mountains. He then proclaimed 'Soon the tears will pour out like fountains!' The night was over, and the morning came, as Ice King rejoiced, knowing that the holiday would never been the same. He held out an ear, so he could listen to the tears, but oddly enough, nobody had fears. They all came from their homes dancing and singing, 'happy holidays everyone, and happy Grodsgiving!' The Ice King stood with contempt with an icy cold stare, 'they all are happy, and this isn't fair!' But then the Ice King thought of something else. Something that made him regret his jerkface old self. That maybe it isn't about how Grod delivers the material things. Maybe, that instead, it was happiness that he brings.
"'Gunter, get the sack of stolen stuff! I've come to realization that we've been the butts!' So the two got all the things that they stole and flew above Ooo. He got the attention of everyone from the trumpet he blew. 'People of Ooo! I have something to say! I've brought back your stuff, so there is no more dismay.'
All of Ooo looked up at him, as Finn and Jake shared a confused glance.
"'I now realize that the holiday does not center around me, for Grodsgiving is supposed to fill all people with glee. Maybe I haven't gotten everything I wanted in the past, but I want you to have your stuff, so your holiday can last!' Ice King dropped the bag full of presents as people cheered aloud. And for once, Finn and Jake were very, very proud. 'Hey Ice King!', said a seductive Princess Bubblegum. As he turned, she kissed him on the cheek, like a soft, purple plum. Ice King's cheeks turned red that day. His outlook on life had gone white instead of gray. And it was said that while his brain stayed the same size, his heart grew bigger, even bigger than mine. The Ice King then cheered, 'J.T. Doggzone was right! Chicks dig guys who are hot and nice.'
"And so Ooo spent the day together and had a great time. Simon had truly made up for his previous crime. It just goes to show you can change a lost and angry old man. Heart and heart, hand in hand"