Dear Diary, today, or should I say night...? I was verbablly assaulted by the denizens of chat for being the most fairest, beautiful, intelligent and modest of all the land. They be little me with their abhorrent whails of malice and contempt, but I digress! I took everything astride like a true princess would and proposed and apology for my overly friendly and meek demeaner that caused discomfort in the slums of this chat! But alas, it all came crashing down on me as they most discriminantely threw me out of the chat like a peice of fetid trash.
In my Kingdom we discourage such irrational, cruel and unusual behavior, never the less I'm also the princess of most understanding so I gave them the benefit of the doubt and decided to try to visit them tommorrow when they're feeling less hostile.
3 Minutes have passed and I'm sitting in my skillet shaped bed bored out of my mind as my little sister talks to herself quoting The Magical wondavah fizzle box shows and eating cherry poptarts leaving crumbs in my bed, I just told her to politely to make a huge mess somewhere else, my little sis is awesome, she knows her place, she'll make a good princess once I become queen and rule everyone will an iron fist the right way, oh where was I? I got lost in the moment, I better read back, oh yeah, My bed is so comfy, now that i think about it i could at a whole lot more stuff in my room, my closet door is slightly ajar, and it's kind of creepy, monsters aren't real though so I'm cool, atleast not the ones I'm afraid of.
Man I'm bored.I could go to sleep, but that's boring too. Alright, I just might end my diary entry off for now tonight. Big day a head of me, going to enjoy my calories and carbs!
Reminder : 7am Breakfast 10am Breakfast 11am Yell at guards 1pm breakfast 2-3pm bathroom break 2pm breakfast 4pm free time 6pm breakfast 7pm skip shower for breakfast 8-11pm sleep rinse and repeat.
Night night digital diary, I hope you're more reliable than my physical paper one, I hate people reading my things, and wiping their butts on my car seats.
Dear Diary day 1 part 2 the squeakuel.
My attempts to rejoin the ranks of the filthy trolls and goblins resulted in failure, no matter how much I beg and pleaded with them they denied my humble request! I have no choice but to wait out 3 excrutiating days beofre I can come back into their hatemongering society, honestly 3 days? Isn't that just cruel? there's no telling how long 3 days could be, hopefully it's just a mere 72 hours, I doubt it though!
That's what I get for being too nice! I'm serious this really bites,I just wanted to be friends with the elitist peons that aren't even worthy of being compared to dirt, or poo, or the corn in the poo!
I bet that Fat Lumpy Space Priss put them up to this, So jealous of my success, beauty, talk about vanity overload, can't help that someone out there is better than you, huh Shaved pimple bear that juggles bowling pins on a unicycle?
But you know what? I have a daily ritual that keeps my spirits up, I rip my toast into strips and raise my leg and slowly dunk my toast strip into a little cup of maple syrup while letting out a groan of agony (pretend agony I happen to love the feeling of dunking toast strips into syrup thank you very much) It lets me know for some reason that there will be someone that will put you down, why? Because they're below me and they want to drag me to their level! Hear that you Log dwelling lump of whatever you are, I know your game, your jealousy won't get the best of me! You may have got these ventriliquist dummies under your control, but once 3 days are up, you butter get the egg out of my face, before you're toast.
I will not stand idly by and allow this injustice to continue! Don't mistake my precursor mercy for weakness, because now, there is no more mister misses nice princess! I'll hit you harcore with everything I got!
There is no way anyone could read this, because I put a inpenetrable password on my wonderbah fizzle magic box that noone would know! the password isn't password, so don't try it! I'm talking about you mister guy with the numbers who name I forgot because he wasn't that all important to me.
Day over! I got some beauty sleep to catch up on! I can't skip my Breakfast, I need carbs!
Ugh... Alright so you know how I promised myself I would add more to my diary tommorrow and catch up on some beauty sleep? Well I can't! I just can't sleep knowing that my freaking pride has been sullied and crushed by those ner-do-wells that linger in that chat, possibly snickering amoung themselves about me behind my back! Yeah laugh it up you lowly worms, but no matter how much you wiggle you're still worms! At least Strudel is on my side, she knows who's the true authority here! None of these amatuers, they don't recognize true excellence even if it were to slap them in there freakng chops! Honestly! Why would you ban me!? Do you know who I am!? Recognize! Everytime I get bent out of shape I go on these hot flashes. It could be very hot and humid badlands with the occasional dune buggies that shoot at eachother and blow up in the distance. Ok, so like I'm still sitting here, waiting eagerly to get back on chat to put those nitwits in their place, I can't even begin to think about my next plan of actions other than to wait 3 days. There's got to be a short cut. Ah anyways, not much more to say. I'll end off my entry tonight for reals.
And I noticed that someone guessed that my password was really password, who would have guessed it!? Anyway I got a full proof password! noone will ever guess this one not even my sissies, Can't trust anyone now.
END OF DAY ONE (This time for real)
DAY 2 (Wakey wakey, eggs and bakie!)
Finally day break is here! I couldn't sleep because sister was snoring like a grizzly bear! Next time I simply won't slap her off the bed, she'll be spending the night in the sand dunes with the monster worms!
Today is the day I successfully infiltrate that horrid chat to win back my honor, but before I could initiate such a daring mission, I'll have to get the strength to pull off such a feat, and what better way to obtain it than by good ol' breakfast! Ah yes! The classic Bacon, fried eggs, grits and pancake! That is like the usual for me. I better not keep dwelling so much on getting back at the denizens on chat that wronged me, I might loose my appetite, darn it! I just did! Oh wait nevermind, it came back.
Welp, I guess I'll have to skip freaking breakfast, since my stupid incompetent servants didn't even pepare it for me, I will not tolerate this! Note to self: don't forget to execute Morris, he's been a terrible servant and foot stool (he just won't hold still). I have another ritual that also gets me through the day, right when I wake I take my large bacon strips and lay them perfectly on my head one strip at a time whilist chating "Bacon strip, bacon strip, bacon strip," I have to keep doing that otherwise my day won't be complete all it will all end with a bad taste in my mouth. The grease that drips around my head is bareable, But ONLY if it doesn't go inside my eye balls or ears, otherwise, I'm in a world of pain, but It's worth it, because I put my body through physical pain for the good of my people.
Alas, i must keep this short, I have a busy day ahead of me, This food is not going to eat it's self, and I can tell when food wishes to be ingested, going against their wishes is just plain rude, Tatty bye diary. I'll be back after I apply bacon grease over my lips. Maybe a dash of maple syurp in my belly button? Wow, I'm living on the edge today.
Hello again Diary, I'm back with another evening Writey downey thingy; then again I guess it's not writey as it's more typey, anyways, My day was splendid, noone to bother me, noone to interupt my me time, with their petty complaints about breaching or tresspassing, I haven't got time for such squabble, I'm very busy with obtainin my carbs, do they just want me to waste away into nothing? Inconsiderate, yes. But they are still my guards and I love them like a owner does a pet gold fish.
Let's face it, I'm too easy on those sticky clowns
'Goal Daily Intake: ' 2400 calories, 50g protein, 400mg calcium, 400mg Vitamin C,D (Skipping meals not advised!)
1/4 gallon for breakfast. 1/4 gallon for lunchfast. 1/4 gallon for Dinfast. 1/4 gallon for Supperfast
Dinfast time, I'm enjoying my usual meal, or at least I WAS until a certain someone let one rip right in front of me on my bed, First of all, noone is to flatuate on my bed nor in my slumber chambers! My sister has a lot to learn when it comes to proper Breakner etiquette. Since she's my sibling she gets a free pass, I'll simply give her a light punish ment and submerge her in the deep fryer until she learns her lesson. It's difficult being the responsible and most mature sibling, she looks up to me, as do the rest of my subjects, after all, they have no choice but to.
But seriously, farting is freaking nasty, I'm serious.
Day 3 (slow day today)
I know almost everyone is eager to know what I have been up to! So here I am to bless you even further with another one of my diary entrys! I decided to accept the fact that no matter how secure I make my digital diary someone is going to find their way around my cyber defenses and examine all of my diary contents that contain my deep dark personal secrets and feelings, so read on! Enjoy what I have got to say about my daily life!
Today was a hot day! I woke up stuck to my sheets it was so hot, and my sister's insufferable snoring wasn't helping either, and let me tell you! I was so not in the mood to wake up at no 11am, that is way too early! But then I realized my internal alarm was telling me that breakfast was at stake here and I needed my sustenance to fufill my appetite, thank glob for that chart I posted in my handy dandy digital diary!
In case you're wondering what my internal alarm is, it's technically the rumble in my tummy that erupts when I'm prepared for my nutrients. Without it, I'd be a mess!
And this time, my food was brought to me instead of me having to almost kill myself walking over 20 leagues down the hall and the stairs into the dinning quarters to request a meal to be made for me. I can't have my subjects slacking now, slacking will result in demotivation, and without motivation will result in weakness and weakness will result in total annihalation of my kingdom and the possible balance of the ecosystem! The eggs were delicious by the way, no need to ask, and the bacon was to die for! Well of course someone had to die for it after all. Don't get me wrong I do feel bad for devouring a small family of bacon, but it's for a better cause!
Note to self, don't try to go over the 1/4 milk limit during a meal, it may result in regurgitation all over the bed. (And I work very hard to eat my breakfast) Lot's of chewing and swallowing involved, why can't my subjects do this for me? I'm surrounded by lazy bums. Do they not care that my jaws get tired?
More updates soon throughout the day! I have some important matters to attend to, I have to decide between two colors of drapes and it requires my complete attention! The life of a successful princess is a difficult life.
I'm back after a lengthy day! Man am I exhausted. So for the remainder of the day I decided to take a load off enjoy my Lunchfast, and listen to some of my CDS, I thought about sharing some of the tunes with you fine people too! I'm just happy that neither of my CDs got broken after I found them strewn about.
Personally I like this one almost the best, however I love all of my things equally. Enjoy! Hope you like it! I know you will ;)
Sorry, no entry for today, I'm not in the mood today.
Fear not, I'm bound to have plentiful stories to tell tommorrow! Ciao.
So yeah, today nothing exciting happened just the usual business, however something interesting happened to night at the chat in the box on my wonder fizzle box, I finally was able to log back on to the chat after being under suspention for my behavior, I was having a plesant conversation with a few of the dwellers but of course surprise, surpise, some git that thought he was being clever by calling me a so called noob because I happened to be new, how about that? The chat box is so hospitable to it's new comers, AxePhoenix scotum scrub should be their greeter, I'm sure he'd do a fine job introducing new people to the chat with the upmost respect and kindness.
I swear, some people are just born bad people, no real place in life, just there to waste the good people's air and replace it with hate and prejudice, so after he treats me like garbage for no reason I decide to get him back by making a little joke, of course not knowing the balance of morality he retorts with a suggestion that I blow my yolks out of my head, a shotgun diet if you will.
Yeah, um, excuse me for not laying down and just letting it go like some rug, but that's not really how I take things, So I send him a message on the private message to detour our little dispute that he materialized from his own tiny hatefilled mind, from my observations he obviously had no people skills and compensates for his lack of social skills to be a complete jerk to anyone he finds a threat, so I assumed maybe he had aspergers, I call him out on it, and guess what? He has the audacity to tell me that I went overboard, even after he told me to kill myself, isn't that just ironic?
The others on chat were being completely fair, they told us both to stop this petty scwabble, I'm glad they gave me a chance to explain why I took that inappropriate path to get back at AcePhoenix007, yeah I know it was not a good thing to say about a disorder, but I wasn't making fun of people with the disorder just the specific person with the obvious disorder, I apologize for using autism as an insult, but I'm not sorry for what I said to Mr. TL;DR, he deserved it.
I'm sorry that your parents didn't embrace your basement dwelling lifestyle, and that you hate your father for urging you to partake in normal things that normal adult men should do. But you shoudn't take out your crappy dysfunctional way of life out on me, I'm not the one who made you retarded, you should blame yourself, you wonder why people in the real hate you? Maybe it's because of your terrible unfriendly personality.
I have to say AcePhoenix you can spew your malice at me all you want I won't mind it too much but I won't forget about it, I'll have my days where I feel like crud and reflect on the wrongs of my life, but I will say one thing about my occasional plight, I'm just glad not to be you, have an eggcellent day.
I haven't made an entry for a few days, but I haven't forgotten about this diary just yet, I'll be sure to add more soon.
I find myself thinking long and hard about my pop in the dead of night, the gloomy darkness the night brings really depresses me, this is why I like morning over dusk/night, my mind isn't wandering thinking up the bad things that happened in my life, instead it's focused on what's happening right now, the activities, the morning breakfast meals that puts a smile on my face and stomach, wonderful things that distract me from my sadness. My sisters only know pop from his picture, they don't suffer like I do some nights, I can't sleep most during the night, so I'm forced to miss most of the wonderful day getting back the sleep I missed, it really sucks. I hope I forget all about this soon, pop, you might have done some dirty deeds in your time, but you were still my hero, our hero.
I think someone made a nice picture of my pop for me too, it's very nice! Thanks.